Am I wrong in how I'm raising my son?
- 159 Replies
I've have always taught him, not to hit. If someone hits you walk away.....tell a teacher, just ignore whoever is bothering you.
Zero tolerance for physical violence. Is this wrong?
My son is in preschool and for most of the year he has been picked on by 2 boys. They tease him, one day they'll let my son play with them, then the next day say he's not allowed. They push him around, throw snow in his face, they have thrown rocks at him etc.
All this time I've been telling him to just walk away and tell a teacher.
Well today he came home with a goose egg on his head 2 scratches and a bruise all in the same area of his head. Apparently these 2 boys pushed him down in some rocks and my son got hurt.
For whatever reason, the teaches didn't punish these 2 boys. They just told my son"oh, we'll keep an eye on them from now on" I am not satisfied with his.
My son threw snow at a kid once and got put on time out, which I totally agreed with 100%. One other time he yanked on a girl and again, got put in time out, which of course I agreed with and he was also punished at home. I take these things very seriously and it only took him to be punished once for these things and they have never happened again.
My husband has been saying for months that we should be teaching him to hit back. I have been against this. I don't want him to resort to physical violence for ANY reason but when the teachers won't do anything, then what? Do I just go with my husbands lead and have him teach our son to physically defend himself? I don't know. My husband wants to properly train our son in martial arts. He is a black belt in Karate, Kung fu, Ninjutsu and wants to train our son in these.
I am going back and forth. Even when we said to him today that maybe he needs to start sticking up for himself and if they hit him first he should give them a whack back... he said "but I don't want to hurt them mommy"
I don't know what to do. Well, I am making a phone call to his preschool tomorrow. I don't like the way they dealt with this incident today.
Update*
well we do have to defend ourselves it sounds like the teachers are not doing a good job.
No definitely not.
And this is only preschool...what the hell is going to happen in grade school? At least he wont be going to grade school with these same 2 boys.
Quoting happymotherof6:well we do have to defend ourselves it sounds like the teachers are not doing a good job.
Right or wrong we have always told ds that if anyone puts their hands on him he has our permission to defend himself.
I weould be furious with how the school "handled it".
I was always raised to defend myself physically if need be.,,,,2j2wik22j2 fn (<---- my daughter tried typing a response lol)
I think training him in karate is a great idea. They teach defense, not to hurt, or the intent to hurt. That way, they arnt starting the fight, but finishing it. I dunno, maybe if the boys know your son is in karate that could scare them away? I would not be happy with a " we'll keep an eye on them" response from the preschool teachers. Iwould have also told them about all the things those two have done in the past, that they should have been doing a better job in the first place.
Well because I am hoping we can resolve the problem. Im not going to rip him out of school every time he has a problem. That just wont be possible once he starts grade school.
Quoting Anonymous:my question is, WHY would you keep sending your son to a place where he is getting hurt and nothing is done???????????????????????????
Right or wrong, we teach DD that no one should be putting their hands on her and that if that does happen she has permission to defend herself.
Either way, the school should be doing something and I that would concern me more.
S/o What would you do if you found out your 17yo had sex?