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Help finding adopted siblings in North Dakota

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This is for a a friend, she found out right before her mother passed that she has a few (2 brothers?) that were put up for adoption in North Dakota.  She has lost her father too and is all alone.  She would really like to find her siblings not necessarily to start a relationship but she would love that, she just wants to say hi and let them know that they are not alone in the world either.  She just feels all alone in the world.

She tried to get records from the capitol but the laws in ND are pretty harsh about releasing info.  She doesn't have a lot of money and can't hire a service.  Any suggestions on how she could go about this?

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
JoyfulinSD
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 4:47 PM

Not sure if the kids were born in South Dakota or North Dakota because the hospitals were both 50 miles away from the home in opposite directions.

briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 4:50 PM
As an adoptee, I have to agree here. I had a bio sister try to contact me out of the blue, and she started getting a bit like a stalker about it, and wouldn't accept that I wanted nothing to do with her at that time. Because of that, she ruined any chance she may have had at a relationship with me, because she didn't give me a chance to process the information and make my own choice. Apparently she did the same thing to my bio brother, even going so far as to call his work and introduce herself as his sister, and insist that they have a reunion over the phone while he was at work.

Not saying your friend will do this OP, but if she does find them, please tell her to be careful about how she approaches them.


Quoting marinenonstop:

When children are adopted out..i think it's best if they decide if they want to meet the bio family. She could try posting her info with agencies that work with adopted children..but not directly contact them herself. What if they dont know they're adopted? What if they dont want to be found? Ya know
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momof2little1s
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 4:52 PM
I know people who have found people on Facebook by making a post then getting people to share.
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JoyfulinSD
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:02 PM

 She is aware.  she doesn't want to push anything and even when I gave her a ride up to the capitol, she was shaking so bad because of this, she wasn't sure she could even go in and ask about the birth records.  She's a young girl in he early 20's. that has lost everyone in the world that is blood to her except her little girls.   I don't know if she will follow through with trying to meet them even if she finds out who they are.  She's not a pushy person, actually very quiet and meek.


Quoting briansmommy2010:

As an adoptee, I have to agree here. I had a bio sister try to contact me out of the blue, and she started getting a bit like a stalker about it, and wouldn't accept that I wanted nothing to do with her at that time. Because of that, she ruined any chance she may have had at a relationship with me, because she didn't give me a chance to process the information and make my own choice. Apparently she did the same thing to my bio brother, even going so far as to call his work and introduce herself as his sister, and insist that they have a reunion over the phone while he was at work.

Not saying your friend will do this OP, but if she does find them, please tell her to be careful about how she approaches them.


Quoting marinenonstop:

When children are adopted out..i think it's best if they decide if they want to meet the bio family. She could try posting her info with agencies that work with adopted children..but not directly contact them herself. What if they dont know they're adopted? What if they dont want to be found? Ya know


 

JoyfulinSD
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:24 PM

 If it's not too personal, did you know you were adopted and that you had siblings?  These two other siblings may  not know they were adopted or that they have a sibling let alone 2 more.  How would you have prefered finding out?  A letter?


Quoting briansmommy2010:

As an adoptee, I have to agree here. I had a bio sister try to contact me out of the blue, and she started getting a bit like a stalker about it, and wouldn't accept that I wanted nothing to do with her at that time. Because of that, she ruined any chance she may have had at a relationship with me, because she didn't give me a chance to process the information and make my own choice. Apparently she did the same thing to my bio brother, even going so far as to call his work and introduce herself as his sister, and insist that they have a reunion over the phone while he was at work.

Not saying your friend will do this OP, but if she does find them, please tell her to be careful about how she approaches them.


Quoting marinenonstop:

When children are adopted out..i think it's best if they decide if they want to meet the bio family. She could try posting her info with agencies that work with adopted children..but not directly contact them herself. What if they dont know they're adopted? What if they dont want to be found? Ya know


 

KeriAZ
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:33 PM

I am a reunited adoptee. There are several places to check. One is to go to the adoption agency and see if they can give any information.  Go to this site to register.. http://www.isrr.net/ This is a place where adoptees and birthfamilies can possibly meet up if they both register. Google Adoption reunions and the like and there are thousands of sites out there that can help.

onethentwins
by Platinum Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:24 PM
2 moms liked this

Not a good idea. Adoption agencies are notoriously anti-adult adoptee and anti-reunion. These people are adults, if they don't know they're adopted they damn well should do. If they don't want a reunion they can say so. 


Quoting marinenonstop:

When children are adopted out..i think it's best if they decide if they want to meet the bio family. She could try posting her info with agencies that work with adopted children..but not directly contact them herself. What if they dont know they're adopted? What if they dont want to be found? Ya know



michelles89
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:25 PM
I live in nd but not much help lol good luck to your friend!
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onethentwins
by Platinum Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this

In the Adoption Reunion group there is a volunteer "Search Angel". She works for free and has had much success reuniting CM members. http://www.cafemom.com/group/14715/forums/read/9480523/Search_Angel


marinenonstop
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:58 PM
If they dont know they're adopted..they should know??? Why?


Quoting onethentwins:

Not a good idea. Adoption agencies are notoriously anti-adult adoptee and anti-reunion. These people are adults, if they don't know they're adopted they damn well should do. If they don't want a reunion they can say so. 



Quoting marinenonstop:

When children are adopted out..i think it's best if they decide if they want to meet the bio family. She could try posting her info with agencies that work with adopted children..but not directly contact them herself. What if they dont know they're adopted? What if they dont want to be found? Ya know





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