Would this upset you? (daycare related)

[Anonymous]

DS is 3.5. He goes to preschool full time, and generally likes it, except during the "aftercare" program (the last 2 hours or so). When a certain teacher is there (which is a lot lately), he gets really grumpy during the evening at home. BUT, we can never get him to talk about after care (he will talk sometimes about fun things he did during morning class).

But tonight, this was our exchange:

DS: Mommy I want to tell you a story. One day at school I went to go to the potty, and I came out and (teacher) and everyone else had left me all alone.

Me: How did that make you feel?

DS: It scared me. (*note he has never told me before that anything has scared him*)

Me: Thanks for telling me that story. I will call (director) tomorrow and make sure that doesn't happen anymore, okay?

DS: Okay mommy.

Would you be upset? I can't decide if the incident was a huge deal, or if I am just looking for more reasons to be worried about this teacher. :(
She usually doesn't do major things wrong, we just find her to be a bit out of touch with kids, and, again, DS is always crabby after being with her.

Btw, yesterday was the first day ever that he went to school with "big boy underwear" on instead of pullups. He is very new to potty training.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the teacher in question and the director before making any assumptions.

Parents often forget that the details in young children's stories can often be a bit skewed.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

It's small; aftercare is usually only a handful of kids. My guess is that she was outside the door somewhere, but that he didn't know it. She should have gone in with him, especially bc he is just learning. Also, it sounds like it was the grownup bathroom, not a classroom one :(

Quoting Anonymous:

Absolutely I'd be fucking pissed. Besides having two of my own kids, I've worked child care forever and always knew to take a head count before leaving an area. Once, I because a certified child care worker as an adult, I checked even more. Every 10-15 we kept s check on our sheet and I would randomly count the kids as they got picked up one by one even if it was before the check point time and if a child was in the bathroom, I knew it. Smh.

[crescentstar2]

talk to them as then you and they know what is going on. If things don't change after that you can always change places 

Quoting Anonymous:

I sent the director an email tonight, and told her I want to discuss it further tomorrow.

I do know that during the days that this teacher isn't there, he is totally fine in the evenings.

Quoting crescentstar2:

my youngest is in preschool, he loves the teacher but the lady that takes care of the kids in the daycare part he didn't like. I thought she was just very stern one day I saw something I didn't like and I talked to the owner and sense then the other lady has made a 180. I'd talk to them as maybe they don't see it 

[Anonymous]

Forgetting a child in a classroom is a huge deal! Not ok at all! That teacher needs to be fired!

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I definitely know that the story may have some holes. But the fact is, he is never, never willing to share any concerns about school or this teacher, so the fact that he even brought it up is HUGE.

And I have never heard him say something scares him (other than the occasional cartoon)

Quoting Anonymous:

I would talk to the teacher in question and the director before making any assumptions.

Parents often forget that the details in young children's stories can often be a bit skewed.

[Anonymous]

We are taught when working for a program, a child that young is never to be out of our eyesight. If we stand outside the door because a parent insists in privacy, we leave a part of our body (like our foot or hand) by the door to reassure the child of our presence. I would still be upset if she had made my child feel completely alone at just 3.5. I was the head classroom director for 3 hour pre-k after school program of 16 kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's small; aftercare is usually only a handful of kids. My guess is that she was outside the door somewhere, but that he didn't know it. She should have gone in with him, especially bc he is just learning. Also, it sounds like it was the grownup bathroom, not a classroom one :(

Quoting Anonymous:

Absolutely I'd be fucking pissed. Besides having two of my own kids, I've worked child care forever and always knew to take a head count before leaving an area. Once, I because a certified child care worker as an adult, I checked even more. Every 10-15 we kept s check on our sheet and I would randomly count the kids as they got picked up one by one even if it was before the check point time and if a child was in the bathroom, I knew it. Smh.

[Anonymous]

Obviously something is not right. Your ds is telling you this with his behavior and it sounds like your mommy intuition is telling you as well. I would first try to have him removed from her care whether he is put with another worker or you move him altogether. Just remember he is 3 what can a 3 year old do about his daycare? What can he do? All he has is his words and his behavior and clearly she scares him so it is less likely he will talk about it.

[DahliaDoxy]

Talk to the director. Maybe there have been other complaints.  FInd out.  Let them know you are paying attention. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think they have cameras. It's a religious preschool, and very small.

There are a lot of great things about this school, it is just this one teacher. I wish I could decide if she is bad or just a bit dumb.

Quoting DahliaDoxy:

Our daycare had video cameras.  Does yours?  Ask to see the tapes.  If not, trust your instinct and your child's feelings.  There are no second chances when it comes to these things. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So I am right in thinking this is a big deal?



I do realize she may have been right outside the door, but still, my DS shouldn't be scared to go potty :(

Quoting DahliaDoxy:

I would have her job.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Days where I can pick him up earlier are SO much better. Today DH got him, and not until almost 6 :(

Way too late for a little guy.

Quoting Anonymous:

We had a horrible daycare/preschool worker who did nothing with the kids other than let them run around all day...moved our 4 year old to a different class and it made all the difference...this worker is there sometimes for the aftercare program so I am picking my child up early when I can...it got to the point he was telling me he did not want to go and that someone had smeared poop on him...she let all the kids go into the bathroom at once and did not supervise them....the director was a real B about it but moving him was best for him and next year he will got to a private school for 4k which should be even better.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Thanks. I sent her an email tonight, and will call tomorrow.

Quoting DahliaDoxy:

Talk to the director. Maybe there have been other complaints.  FInd out.  Let them know you are paying attention. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think they have cameras. It's a religious preschool, and very small.



There are a lot of great things about this school, it is just this one teacher. I wish I could decide if she is bad or just a bit dumb.

Quoting DahliaDoxy:

Our daycare had video cameras.  Does yours?  Ask to see the tapes.  If not, trust your instinct and your child's feelings.  There are no second chances when it comes to these things. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So I am right in thinking this is a big deal?





I do realize she may have been right outside the door, but still, my DS shouldn't be scared to go potty :(

Quoting DahliaDoxy:

I would have her job.