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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I won't let ds7 see any of his paternal family. Ask me anything.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

He used to be close to his grandmother.  

He had a grandmother, aunt, grandfather and of course a father he saw every other weekend.

Now he mourns them as he cannot see them at all.

Ask me anything.



(another post condemned mothers in this situation, thought I'd share my side of things)

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:15 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I have no questions. ds doesnt see his fathers family either. they are unstable and dysfunctional and it is not in ds's best interest to ever be around them. you have to do what is best for your children, regardless of what others think.

*eta* this does not apply to his father, we are happily married and a great little family! :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:28 AM


ah, but a court did.  

I didn't straight to court.  CAS (children;s aid society, it's like cps) was already involved from some disclosures my son made at school.  I called them as soon as the holiday was over.

I worked with CAS to try and make other arrangements.  It's never been personal for me.  It's always been about ds' best interest.

It isn't something that happened overnight, rather it played out over months of time.


The grandparents.... That was strange.  Something I STILL don't quite understand.  The grandfather, he just had no interest (wtf?)

The grandmother...  Even more weird.  When ds father lost all access she refused to visit ds without the dad there.  She was allowed access and still is, but refuses to unless she can take ds to her house where the dad lives.  




Quoting Anonymous:

he stopped seeing dad because dad yelled constantly, was erratic, had an obvious mental issue.  Would engage in risky or strange behaviour, was threatening and aggressive with everyone around him and got into screaming matches with the rest of the family.


Quoting mlg1989:

For what reasons?



so why take away his grandma? aunts? and grandpa?

and in a court of law those reasons wouldn't hold up as reason to strip a kid from seeing his father.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:29 AM


no! Which I find SO weird.  They stopped contacting the social worker as well.  I have never understood it.

Quoting sstef126:

Does the family try to contact you???



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:31 AM


the grandfather had no interest.  The grandmother... She is a peice of work that one.

I tried to make arrangements with her.  When the social worker told her she could have access either supervised or outside of her house, she refused.  She flat out refused to have access without her son.  She said "I can't deny my son." Um wtf?  

So, unfortunately the social worker thought it was unsafe since she wouldn't comply.  Sad really.  At first we kept thinking she would see reason and call.  But no one heard from her again.

It's been hard.  I don;t understand it at all.

Quoting Anonymous:

so dad's a creep... why deny him contact with his grandparents?  that's just fuckin mean.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:33 AM


The courts did strip his access rights conditionally.  Meaning he can get them back if he fulfills CAS's conditions.

It wasn't a quick thing, several alternatives were tried unsuccessfully over a period of a 6-12 months.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I think many moms have golden uterus syndrome.

the owner of the uterus the owner of the vagina owns the child.

Unless a court said he can't see his dad,then i feel you had no right to strip that from him.

From what you described he was NOT abusive enough to lose complete rights to his son.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:35 AM


These were things that were happening over and over not just by the word of my son, but other adults witnessed these things and told me of them as well.  CAS also did a thorough investigation.  This behaviour also happened right in front of our social worker in her office.  At one point dad had to be forcibly removed by security during a supervised visit for threatening the social worker and becoming aggressive with her.

Quoting sstef126:

You took the word of a small child? Not saying it isn't true but kids do play the parents and make things up. Maybe it isn't "fun" to be there, there are rules, its boring, etc..... I have seen this happen before.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:38 AM


Read some of my answers.  You may find I didn't "yank" his dad away but tried everything to keep their relationship intact.  In fact, I did ask the court for a conditional access order.  Meaning, if his dad fulfills CAS's conditions, he is more than welcome to see his son.  My only conditions are, seeing a psychiatrist for evaluation, following psychiatrists rec'medations and providing a clean drug test prior to each visit.

No one heard from dad after he was given the papers.  

I did not deem him unsafe.  Courts and CAS did.  We tried, even if a parent is "unsafe" there are ways to ensure a relationship, supervised visits ect.  We tried all of those.

Quoting Anonymous:

come back in 16 years and let me know how that turned out for you.

Most kids hate thier mothers for yanking their dads away. Just sayin.

i cannot stand my mom for doing the same exact same..in fact i haven't talked to her in forever and hope the bitch dies.

I have a awesome relationship with my dad who she deemed not safe enough for me.



KreatingMe
by Gold Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:38 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I think many moms have golden uterus syndrome.

the owner of the uterus the owner of the vagina owns the child.

Unless a court said he can't see his dad,then i feel you had no right to strip that from him.

From what you described he was NOT abusive enough to lose complete rights to his son.


Sick fucking thinking. I don't have to hide behind anon. He was not abused enough??  Who gives a shit about how abusive or mentally fucked a parent is right, it's not about the kids protections, it's about the parents right. Godforbid an abusive parent feel less authority over the child. What is enough? How much abuse should happen before a child is protected? 

sstef126
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:39 AM

If you would have explained this at first then there are no questions to ask..... It is what it is.....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:42 AM

Not abusive enough?! Why would a woman allow her child to suffer through ANY abuse...that is just absurd. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I think many moms have golden uterus syndrome.

the owner of the uterus the owner of the vagina owns the child.

Unless a court said he can't see his dad,then i feel you had no right to strip that from him.

From what you described he was NOT abusive enough to lose complete rights to his son.



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