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I got EX's entire refund today

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

For 5 years, he was ordered to pay $1100 a month, something he would have no problem being able to do with how much money he was making, however, he never paid, knowing that I was struggling, he didn't care. Well now he has been married for 4 years and 3 years ago, the judge told him that if he missed even one more payment, he would issue a warrant for his arrest. Since then, he hasn't missed a payment. On top of that though the judge order an extra $150 a month to pay off the back child support plus I get all of his income tax refunds.

Up until this year, the refunds were almost nothing because his wife would file separately and she would claim their children (they have 2 together and she has one of her own). This year however, she couldn't file on her own because she didn't work at all last year so instead of getting maybe $1000, I got almost $10,000. Apparently, she thought she would be able to claim injured spouse but since she didn't work, she wasn't entitled to do so.

The money showed up in the mail and I was thrilled (I had no idea I was getting that much, I was expecting just the $1000 I usually get back). I called my ex to see if there had been a mistake but that's when he told me about how he and his wife filed together this year. He also mentioned that it seriously put them in a bind and that they can't even afford spring clothes for their kids.

So while I am putting another $1000 in each of the kids accounts (including the 2 I have with DH) and we are going to put a good amount in savings, I have asked my children to  find out the sizes of the 2 half siblings and 1 step sibling. I am going to buy them $100 worth of clothes each but my children will be going with me to pick them out. While it is kind of nice to watch my ex pay for screwing me and his kids over all those years, I don't want children to go without because of it. I want to teach my children to be compassionate even when you have the upper hand, which is something maybe grown adults can't figure out.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 27, 2013 at 8:06 PM
Replies (261-270):
Luna091306
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:39 PM

 She said he has been married for 4 years, 3 of which he has paid on time. The 5 years he didn't pay were before the wife. So I don't see how this is her fault. I didn't catch the part where she said they were making 150K+/year. I don't know their financial situation but I do know her children are out 10K that they too are entitled to. It's not the kid's fault.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why feel bad for the wife and kids? She let him not pay. Furthermore, they are making more than $150k a year with that kind of child support and tax refund. If they can't afford a couple hundred for new clothes that's because they spent it elsewhere on themselves.


Quoting Luna091306:

 Okay, yeah I saw later he was 60K+ behind. SMH How do people let it get like that? That's just completely ridiculous. As bad as I feel for his wife and her kids, he let this happen. His fault, not yours.


Quoting Anonymous:


Yes, it comes off of the arrears


 


 


Quoting Luna091306:


 Does the tax return not knock off the arrears? Or is he ordered to always give you his tax return even if there is no arrears? That seems wrong.


 


 


 


 

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Liyoness
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:41 PM
One thousand likes!

Seriously, is this a tough concept for people?




Quoting cdgoldilocks:

Quoting Anonymous:






The OP is not on welfare, the child support services office is simply making sure her ex pays.





Not all States heavily pursue deadbeat ex's.



I am owed 38,000 in back child support.



I don't understand why some women have trouble comprehending child support. The court assigns dad his portion of money he needs to pay to give his child/children HIS kids needs. If he doesn't pay his share of the child's support, then mom must do one of two things: 1) let child do without or 2) pay her share AND dad's share of child's monetary needs until dad is finally forced to pay.



Now, for mom to pay her share AND dad's share, she might have to put off paying bills, buying herself some new clothes, putting money in savings. HER money is covering HIS bills. She is loaning dad $$ essentially because she is covering his portion of the kid $. When she gets her child support, she can go pay and "pay herself back". She can pay off those bills she put off. She can buy those clothes she had to put off buying because he didn't support his kids and her clothes money went to food for her kids. I just don't get why this is hard to understand for people....

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 26 on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:41 PM
2 moms liked this
My ex is behind in support. Bc of that I have not been able to pit money into accounts for the child we have together or my other child.

So yeah if I get my back support I will take some of that money to put into BOTH accounts.

I fail to see the issue with that.


Quoting Anonymous:

Trust me...nothing your doing is kind. Not to mention using child support for two children that isn't even your exes. I know you don't care and neither does anyone else but you don't deserve a pat on the back or anything...nothing but greed. Another ex stealing from children that don't belong to her. Obviously some of that is owed. IMO only that no one cares about the child tax credit that's on those taxes that YOU received shouldn't be meant for you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 42 on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:42 PM
1 mom liked this


You are ignorant and it is showing. You can doubt all you want, but clearly you don't understand how the government works and rules it applies to tax refunds and child support.

The OP can't simply ask the IRS to give her his tax refund because she wants it. It has to be owed to her through the courts. The courts know when someone is behind on support and it is standard for courts to order tax refunds to be given to the custodial parent that is owed back child support. No fraud, all nice and legal. Sure it sucks for the EH new family but he knew it going iinto tax season and if he didn't it's a pretty easy thing to look up. Any tax preparer at an H&R block can tell you the rules and where the refund will go within ten minutes of working with you, if you can't figure it out on your own.

Not all states put people in jail for owing back child support and those that do us it as an absolute last resort for chronic non-payment. In fact the just threatened to jail him if he missed one more payment, that's when he started paying. he hadn't beenpaying for year before that though.

The judge also ordered him to pay an aditional $150 on top of the $1000 every month to help catch up. If you skip paying $1100 a month for a few years you quickly end up owing more than $50,000 in back child support. This is all information in the thread. i suspect your anger and ignorance are blocking your comprehnsion of it though.

The new wife is not entitled to squat from the tax refund. She wasn't employed, she didn't earn any of it. If she had been working she could have filed correct paperwork and the government would have probably let her keep some of the refund. If the EH didn't want his "new" kids to suffer he should have thought and planned better. We all make mistakes but it doesn't mean we are entitled to have others fix them for us.

Quoting Anonymous:


I doubt it went that way. Regardless. the wife and kids to him deserve some of that money. 

Quoting dlock25:

Do you actually think the OP just walked up to her ex and took his refund check? The government knew exactly how much to the penny her ex was behind. The government then sent a check to her for the amout he was behind up to the full amount the ex was behind. If the ex would not have been behind on a court ordered payment then he would have gotten his refund.


Quoting Anonymous:


the judge ordered him to pay 1100.0 a month plus an extra 50.00, if he had owed more thn 5000k in CS he would have been improsioned. much less 10k, do you know what it means to basically steal 10k from the state? you must have not read any FACTS on CS before. And why should her two kids (not dh ) benefit from this "unpaid" child support whilest HIS children within another marriage (just like op) go without? thats bullshit and greedy. and it will bite her in the fucking ass. the courts do not care about their quarrel they care about the kids and their money. point blank. plus she admitted dh hadnt missed a CS payment since court. he was trying to catch up and do the right thing. 


Quoting Anonymous:

 He is behind in CS; he owes much more than just $1100, or did you miss that?


This is what happens when people fall behind on CS, he should've thought about that before not paying.


Quoting Anonymous:


it wasnt just his money you got , its his wife as well and her children also.. what your doing is bitter you should at least take the COURT ordered amount of 1100.00 and give them their money! This will bite you in the ass if they took you to a child support modification hearing. I doubt hes back 10k in arearrs













mylilsunshine
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Hmmm..... I have mix feelings about this post. I don't know what its like to  deal with ex's and cs and so on but I do believe in fairness. It's fair that you are getting his tax refund due to him screwing himself over for not paying child support but you almost sound disappointed in the past for only getting $1000 because his new wife would file separately which she has every right to do. I know if I married a man with children from a previous relation and knew his refund would go to her and the kids there would be NO way my hard earn money is going too.  It was a dumb move on their part for the new wife not working last year; they should have expected this so that was good for you. One thing they should have done ( if possible) was have the father of new wife's child claim him/her and split the credit so at least they would get something back.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 40 on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:45 PM
I based that off our income and tax return. If he was low income he wouldn't be paying $1150 a month for child support. I don't know the actual number, it's a close estimate.

Did you get married the day you met your DH? It stands to reason new wife was in the picture before they got married.

Why are his kids with the new wife entitled to that money? They are entitled to what their parents can afford for them, not the money daddy owes his ex for raising his first born.


Quoting Luna091306:

 She said he has been married for 4 years, 3 of which he has paid on time. The 5 years he didn't pay were before the wife. So I don't see how this is her fault. I didn't catch the part where she said they were making 150K+/year. I don't know their financial situation but I do know her children are out 10K that they too are entitled to. It's not the kid's fault.


Quoting Anonymous:

Why feel bad for the wife and kids? She let him not pay. Furthermore, they are making more than $150k a year with that kind of child support and tax refund. If they can't afford a couple hundred for new clothes that's because they spent it elsewhere on themselves.



Quoting Luna091306:


 Okay, yeah I saw later he was 60K+ behind. SMH How do people let it get like that? That's just completely ridiculous. As bad as I feel for his wife and her kids, he let this happen. His fault, not yours.



Quoting Anonymous:



Yes, it comes off of the arrears



 



 



Quoting Luna091306:



 Does the tax return not knock off the arrears? Or is he ordered to always give you his tax return even if there is no arrears? That seems wrong.



 



 



 



 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 43 on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:45 PM
You're a prize *insert eye roll*
abuckalew
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Me too. I would have been like "sucks for your kids". Sad but true.

Hope he learns to not be a dick tho, financial support is nothing compared everything a child needs.


Quoting KrissyV:

You are a better person than me.  :)


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mich.el.le
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:53 PM


Quoting HaleyCovington:

Lol you don't know me. It has nothing to do with math and everything to do with morals. She used her exs kids to get her new kids ahead. It's disgusting. It's not HER money... It's the kids money. And since you can't grasp the concept that the new kids are not the ex's problem. It's the EX'S kids money. Not her new kids....

Quoting mich.el.le:


Quoting HaleyCovington:

And she said herself that he hasn't missed a payment in awhile. He's trying to catch up but it's wrong for her to just put money in her new kids accounts. If she doesn't need it for bills then put it in the kids that its actually for accounts! Pay for their college or wedding or whatever. Her new kids arnt entitled to any of that money. I don't know how her DH allows that. My husband has to much pride to steal money from other people's kids just to get his own a little extra. Sad...






Quoting mich.el.le:


Quoting HaleyCovington:

Glad he's catching up but I'm with everyone else... Using that money for your new kids with someone else is messed up. He's supporting his kids... Not yours and your new husbands. Those kids arnt his responsibility. And judging how you think that's acceptable, I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't just buying the other kids clothes to rub it in the other parents faces. I'd decline your handouts and figure out a way to take care of it myself.

And since she supported their kids all on her own for all those years, he needs to ''pay her back'' for his share of the responsibility that she paid out of HER pocket so she's entitled to spend that money however she sees fit.

Sorry you don't get the concept, or basic math. I'm so glad I don't have bitter exes or a bitter new wife to deal with.

*nneeeeeeeoooowwwwwwmmm!!!* That's the sound of my point going right over your head.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 44 on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:57 PM
its common my ex and his wife lie about him owning a company even though I have proof so he doesn't have to pay. She claims the taxes from it. What's worse is she has a kid from a previous relationship

Quoting jnw2992:

 wow he would of lied to keep oney from ur kids?




Quoting Elyce225:


That is awesome, good for you.  It's very nice of you to buy their children clothes.  We were at Sam's Club tonight and they had a lot of awesome toddler clothes that were pretty cheap.  Most of it was Carter's clothes. 


I got my ex's tax return yesterday.  I had no idea I was getting anything.  He sent me a message on FB that he had no idea it was going to go to me or he would have lied, lol.  It was a pretty hefty amount also.




 

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