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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Any one else's DH do this???

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:51 PM
  • 15 Replies

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get ...in the shower. Use wash cloth , long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone......
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorb
ent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. 

I definitely do not use that much stuff in the shower...shampoo, conditioner & body wash for me...but as far as my husband goes...couldn't be more true!!!

by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BEXi
by BEXi on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:53 PM

 lol so stupid yet funny

rebecca.n
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:53 PM

LOL!

Eliots_momma
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:55 PM
:)
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Pink.Frosting
by Ruby Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:55 PM

Sounds pretty accurate to me!

misskriss10
by Ruby Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Lmao, I had to read this to my df because it sounds just like him 

jeanmonkey
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:56 PM

I LOVE THIS!

Momma3830
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:56 PM
Ha ha! The guy part is dead on for me!
( meaning my man does that)... Cus what I wrote sounded weird! Lmao!
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heartnhidin
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Lmao @ shake weiner and make woowoo sound
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ElizabethGracie
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:04 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband always says "You know you want it,baby," and waggles his eyebrows at me...sometimes he'll have a towel wrapped around his waist and flash me...obviously,he missed his calling as a Las Vegas showgirl.


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"Live as if you have faith and faith will be given to you"

thefiregoddess
by MotherDucker on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I think im the guy going woooo but with my boobs lol
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