I'm in a sharing mood. So I bring you random facebook statuses:
· Samantha: Mommy, I found a chip in the couch. I ate it.
• Dear Diva Cup: It's not you, it's me.
· Universe, I'd really like to have my glittery unicorn earring tree back, please.
· If the slower two-thirds of my spawn does not move faster in preparing for school, the last third of the spawn WILL kill them both. I'm worried about my carpets.
· "This year I resolve to use only padded, satin hangers" Joan Crawford, 1955
· Text from Madison: "Mom, you need to pick me up at 10:31." I guess we'll need to synchronize our watches for this...
· I am not afraid to admit that I named my child after a mermaid.
· I served refried beans with the Christmas tacos last night, making GAS my gift to everyone.
· The coffee is hot and fresh. Just like me.
· Five-year-old children do not get to play with glitter. Your pictures will have to remain bland and unsparkly until you are big enough to operate the vacuum. Sincerely, The Dining Room Carpet
· Sam: "I can see our house from here!" Lily: "We're in the driveway, Sam."
Sometimes when I'm alone, I like to Google myself.