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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Questions for CafeMom's Gay community

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

I would like to ask how old you were when you first realized that you were attracted to the same sex? Five, ten, fifteen, twenty? 

Who was the first person you told? Were they accepting? How would you have liked for the first person you told to react? What would have been the best thing for them to say to you? 

I ask because my dd's friend is all but "coming out" to her. I want to encourage my dd to do and say the right thing. Her friend is thirteen. We do not live in a very accepting area of the country, though my husband and I to teach tolerance and love for everyone. I am concerned about dd's friend. She seems very upset. She has been consulting the Internet regarding her feelings, and is getting very conflicting answers. I just want to help my dd help her friend. 

Yes, my dd says that she would still be this girl's friend if it does come out that she is gay, but dd will not be the one to "out" her. She understands that it is not her place. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:50 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:53 PM

why don't you go a strictly gay group to ask? They're the minority in here

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:55 PM

I guess since there are so many women in here, I thought someone could help. 

Quoting Anonymous:

why don't you go a strictly gay group to ask? They're the minority in here


AnnieMcD
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:55 PM
I first realized I was attracted to the opposite sex at around 7. I don't know why a homosexual would be much different.
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purpleducky
by Ruby Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:56 PM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:58 PM
My friend (a guy) said he first realized when he was about 4 or 5.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 28, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Your last paragraph is kind of how we explained it to her. The little girl has asked dd if she is "weird". We told her that if the girl confides in her again, and asks if dd thinks she is gay or weird (the girl seems to be questioning it), to tell her that it doesn't matter to her (dd) because they are friends. 

I didn't think to have my dd thank her for trusting her. But I will now. Thanks for your reply. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I am bisexual. I had my first experience with another female when I was 9 (yes, way too young) but I didn't realize that I was attracted to women until I was 14. Not sure why it took so long.

The first person I told was my best friend. We were on the phone, it came up, she said "I have to go" and hung up. She told me later that she was upset about it because she could see the potential for another girl to take over her role. She wanted to be the #1 female in my life.

Eventually this friend and I went our separate ways (many years later, not because of my sexuality). Looking back on it, I think she may have had conflicting feelings with her own sexuality. We had an odd friendship. It really seemed more like she was my girlfriend. Other people noticed and commented too.

I think that your daughter just needs to act like her friend is normal... Because she is. When her friend tells her, she should be casual about it. "I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me. You know that I'll stick by you no matter what. Wanna go watch TV?" A normal, casual reaction to this is really the best thing. This girl does not need to feel "weird" for her sexual preference, especially from a friend. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 28, 2013 at 4:33 PM
(Im straight but...)
she might just be going through a phase too. I thought I was bi for awhile but it sort of just faded away after awhile. I know lots of other girls who went through that too. Or sometimes women will find other girls attractive, but not be homosexual.
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