Am I really the only one on this site who is a stepmom and gets along with biomom? I know I am not mom, but when dsd is at my home and needs personals, she feels more comfortable coming to me rather than dad.
Bio-mom, dh & I agree...just because they are not together, dsd should not suffer. None of us will let dsd go without, regardless who pays for it, and yes, dh pays child support, and yes we still do above the court order. Dsd should not go without.
The visitation schedule is only there in case we can't agree, but dsd should never miss out on something just because she is "suppose to be" with the other parent that weekend.
As with many families, I, since I am a sahm, schedule all our vacations and outings. Biomom will call me, not dh when the visitation schedule needs to be changed.
Here is the real kicker...Last Christmas dsd was scheduled to be with us. (Court order says every other year) We allowed her to stay home. Yup, that's right, dh gave up his Christmas with his daughter! Why? Because as a gift, we gave our kids and us a family cruise, but we had to wait until after exams. No sense in dsd missing the Christmas festivities at bio moms, since we weren't doing much that day.
PEOPLE! PEOPLE! PEOPLE! The kids need to come first!
Oh, to add...I use to work full time. Dsd went to work with me when she was sick and none of us could take off. I spent "my" money on her. Gasp!