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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
This is going to be a long one, sorry in advance. My husband and I separated a few years back and he moved in with his friend Joe. Joe had a wife and two adorable little boys, before the separation they frequently came over for dinner and playdates. Red flags were raised when he would say "I'm going over to bunny's"-the wife. I'm like "your friends with Joe, you're going to Joes house. " okay so we seperate, he moves in with them, after a few months we start talking again and around 6 months I'd stay over night there or he'd spend the night at my house. Bunny was always super friendly and seemed happy we were working things out. I talked to this woman about personal things. Bunny gets pregnant and we all assume its her husbands baby, they start looking for a bigger house for the new baby and Ronnie arraigned for us to take over their old house. Once were all settle I realize I'm 3 months pregnant, I thought my periods were messed up from depo. Bunny had her baby a few months later and we all came to see her. It was a split image of my husband, Joe and bunny are mexican but the baby had blonde hair, blue eyes like my husband. I confronted him when we got home and he denied it, there wasn't a hint of him lying and said bunny was always cheating on Joe. I'm 6 months pregnant with his baby and let him convince me. I didn't want to believe it, didn't want to face it. Fast forward 5 years and I see on the news she was arrested on drug charges and the kids were all removed. We get in a nasty argument days later and he admits he was sleeping with her the whole time. I was devastated, absolutely devastated he could lie so convincingly for so long. I was mad he I had no choice but to face it, no more pretending it didnt happen. After days of crying and a lot if thinking I go into mommy mode worrying about this kid being in foster care and what kind of live he's had. I tell Ronnie we need to get custody of him, I couldn't look at Ronnie without seeing him with her but now there's this kids in trouble. About a week after bunnys arrest were getting ready to go into their county for dna tests when we find out Joe already has custody of them. He wanted to let it alone, the kid was safe and already knows Joe as his father. Once I knew the kid was safe, I was moved out before he got home for work. So its been almost a year and I see this kid on Joes Facebook and he is a split image of my son. I want to email Joe all Ronnies messages where Ronnie admit to sleeping with bunny and admitting the kid is probably his...but what good will it do? Joe loves this kid, this kid is happy with his dad and brothers. Should I let it alone or does Joe have a right to know whether he's raising another man's child? I'm thinking about the kid, all he knows is joe being his dad, do I leave it alone? What about when he's older and wonders why he looks nothing like his brothers? Or is it, I left Ronnie, its not my problem?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:44 PM

Seems like if Joe wanted to prove whether or not the child was "his" he could do so.  Apparently he doesn't care.  More power to him  And if he thinks his wife was unfaithful, how they work it out between themselves is nobody else's concern.  NONE of it is ANY of your business.  If anyone has any right to be involved, it's Ronnie-if he's actually the biological father.  I had to LOL at "we" were going for DNA tests - I'm pretty sure being married to a man who could be the father of someone else's baby doesn't require you to be involved in the DNA testing.  I dunno - I'm not saying you might  not have SOME concern for the child - but something tells me you're having a hard time getting past the whole issue and the main reason you'd like to tell Joe the "truth" is just to create problems.  Who his wife is sleeping with or may have slept with is, I repeat - NONE of your business.  Your only business in the whole thing was deciding whether or not you wanted to stay with a guy who had possibly fathered a child with someone else, which I guess you decided not to do.  If you REALLY care about the CHILD, and he's happy and loved - WHY would you interfere in that??  BTW, you ARE aware that Ronnie isn't the only man who has light skin, blonde hair and blue eyes, right?  Just sayin...

by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:46 PM
This. I'm pretty sure he knows it's not his child, and he is happy that way. Unless you see the child suffering in anyway. Then you let your husband intervene, not you. Anyway GL this one is though.

Quoting daughteroftruth:

thats a tough one, but in the end, i don't think it is your place to intervene.  This guy probably knows this kid isn't his as it is, especially if this kid looks just like his best friend. 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:47 PM
They gave him back to a newly detox'd addict after one week??? I can't believe he left them with an active addict!! She moved a house full of kids and he had no idea? This whole story is crazy!! They have an addict/con mommy, a dady that ditches them with the addict and one has a father that left him in foster care, poor kids are so screwed!

Quoting shannonmegan24:

About a week, I'm sure they did a home check and drug test before releasing them to his custody. He tried to go back for them soon after but she moved with no warning

Quoting Anonymous:

Joe ditched his kids with a drug addict to "get clean" ??? They gave them back to him? How long we're they in foster care?

Quoting shannonmegan24:

Apparently they were both using and Joe left to get clean. Bunny took off with the kids and he couldn't find her until she popped up on the news. They took the kids because she had them in a freaking drug house. A lot changes in 5 years and I guess drugs got to her pretty bad.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why would they remove the kids from joe because bunny went to jail?

by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:47 PM


by Chemistry cat on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:48 PM

If it were me, I'd want to know.

by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Do you honestly believe that  "Joe" does NOT know who the child's father is......especially if the child is the spitting image of your DH or Ex-DH?????


by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:50 PM

i'd like to elaborate on my comment.

let it be, and here's why:

1) there's no need to potentially fuck up this kid's life, embroiling him in adult drama.  sure, dad might be like 'whatevz', but it's just as likely he won't be.  then what? he goes back to his loser mom? your ex takes custody, so kid is raised by someone who's a virtual stranger to him? etc.  there's NO GOOD that can come of this, for that child, and if you care at all about him, you wouldn't even consider taking this chance.

2)  there's absolutely nothing in it for you, either.  what, the satisfaction of sticking it to your ex?  even that isn't relevant, because 'sticking to him' results in #1, and i for one hardly think that's worth it.

3)  sure, 'bunny's' husband as a 'right to know'.  whatever.  chances are that he knows somewhere deep inside that kid isn't his, and he's choosing to ignore it.  this is none of your business - you are an entirely unrelated party at this point, since your ex is now your ex, and all you'd be doing is fucking with the hearts and minds of two people who had nothing to do with the betrayal.

PLEASE, i urge you, do NOT get involved.  there is nothing to be gained on any side, but a lot to lose, for everyone but you.  anyone who tells you otherwise is by nature a vindictive horrorshow who doesn't give a fuck about the greater good.  the greater good here is, stay out of it.

by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Leave it alone. Chances are the child's father knows he isn't his bio dad but loves him to much to care
by Anonymous 10 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:52 PM

It juicy and you are feeling a little messy. I would not tell if the child is happy and he is flourishing in his family I would let it go. If you want to split your family and ruin anothers then go right ahead. In this little ugly story the biggest loser would be the children. Their is some secrets that you keep this my dear is one of them.

If you want to tell someone get on your knees and talk to the Gods. I am sure they have heard a lot of stories like this. Good luck and let it go if you want to go on with your life.

by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:54 PM

honestly, you can't even relate to it.  at no point ever in your life will anyone come to you and tell you the child you gave birth to and are raising isn't yours, absent a hospital baby switching incident, which are so rare as to not even be relevant.

you can't relate at all to 'wanting to know' that your son isn't actually your son.

you might 'want to know' if the baby down the street is actually your husband's, but you can't imagine being in a father's shoes and being told that his buddy was banging his wife and hey, guess what, the kid you're raising while his mother is off being a loser somewhere is said buddy's.

there's a reason they say ignorance is bliss.  because it fucking is.

Quoting ame85:

If it were me, I'd want to know.

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