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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
This is going to be a long one, sorry in advance. My husband and I separated a few years back and he moved in with his friend Joe. Joe had a wife and two adorable little boys, before the separation they frequently came over for dinner and playdates. Red flags were raised when he would say "I'm going over to bunny's"-the wife. I'm like "your friends with Joe, you're going to Joes house. " okay so we seperate, he moves in with them, after a few months we start talking again and around 6 months I'd stay over night there or he'd spend the night at my house. Bunny was always super friendly and seemed happy we were working things out. I talked to this woman about personal things. Bunny gets pregnant and we all assume its her husbands baby, they start looking for a bigger house for the new baby and Ronnie arraigned for us to take over their old house. Once were all settle I realize I'm 3 months pregnant, I thought my periods were messed up from depo. Bunny had her baby a few months later and we all came to see her. It was a split image of my husband, Joe and bunny are mexican but the baby had blonde hair, blue eyes like my husband. I confronted him when we got home and he denied it, there wasn't a hint of him lying and said bunny was always cheating on Joe. I'm 6 months pregnant with his baby and let him convince me. I didn't want to believe it, didn't want to face it. Fast forward 5 years and I see on the news she was arrested on drug charges and the kids were all removed. We get in a nasty argument days later and he admits he was sleeping with her the whole time. I was devastated, absolutely devastated he could lie so convincingly for so long. I was mad he I had no choice but to face it, no more pretending it didnt happen. After days of crying and a lot if thinking I go into mommy mode worrying about this kid being in foster care and what kind of live he's had. I tell Ronnie we need to get custody of him, I couldn't look at Ronnie without seeing him with her but now there's this kids in trouble. About a week after bunnys arrest were getting ready to go into their county for dna tests when we find out Joe already has custody of them. He wanted to let it alone, the kid was safe and already knows Joe as his father. Once I knew the kid was safe, I was moved out before he got home for work. So its been almost a year and I see this kid on Joes Facebook and he is a split image of my son. I want to email Joe all Ronnies messages where Ronnie admit to sleeping with bunny and admitting the kid is probably his...but what good will it do? Joe loves this kid, this kid is happy with his dad and brothers. Should I let it alone or does Joe have a right to know whether he's raising another man's child? I'm thinking about the kid, all he knows is joe being his dad, do I leave it alone? What about when he's older and wonders why he looks nothing like his brothers? Or is it, I left Ronnie, its not my problem?
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by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Replies (71-78):
shannonmegan24
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 2:50 PM
I've thought about that too, its one reason why I want to say something but I cant imagine me saying something will have a positive result for the other little boy. " how is he my brother if she's not my mom and your not his dad?" Kind of thing. I don't care about me or Ronnie or Joe, I just can't figure out what's best for this kid. He seems happy so I want to leave it alone but there's always the what if...


Quoting srhea1000:

I think YOUR kids deserve to know they have a brother out there.  If I knew I had a sibling and my parents never told me I'd be PISSED!


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ashleywagoner
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 2:52 PM
Dang...
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shannonmegan24
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 2:52 PM
Psh tell me about it. I mad at myself for not facing it five years ago, what will happen in five more? But the kid seems well off now and I can't justify turning his world upside down. Both sides have good reasons...


Quoting Fistandantalus:

You'd need a Delorean, a Mr. Fusion and enough road to get up to 88 miles per hour to fix this situation...


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Lalalie
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:30 AM

Leave it alone.

Lalalie
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:31 AM

Oh... and I say leave it alone because that little boy is probably happy with his father and family, and if he is being treated well there is no reason to tear him away from all that he knows and totally confuse his little world. Some things are better left alone, for the childs sake.

beco8627
by Silver Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:36 AM
Honestly, I couldn't read anything past "Bunny."
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anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:50 AM

leave it alone. it isnt anything to you anymore, since you left Ronnie. 

If Ronnie wants your kids together to know their sibling that is between him and Joe. Now, when your kids are all adults, then you can tell them and they can decide. If they get mad at you, so what, it wasnt your place

Know your place.

anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Exactly. You should think about how this will impact all your children. Do you want your kids knowing their dad is a cheating lying SOB? Or do you want them to have a good relationship with him? Do you care at all about the other kid and his life? Wait until they are adults to tell them. It isnt your place to open that can of worms

Quoting shannonmegan24:

I've thought about that too, its one reason why I want to say something but I cant imagine me saying something will have a positive result for the other little boy. " how is he my brother if she's not my mom and your not his dad?" Kind of thing. I don't care about me or Ronnie or Joe, I just can't figure out what's best for this kid. He seems happy so I want to leave it alone but there's always the what if...


Quoting srhea1000:

I think YOUR kids deserve to know they have a brother out there.  If I knew I had a sibling and my parents never told me I'd be PISSED!



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