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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Who was wrong? Kinda Long But please help!! ***ETA***

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 42 Replies

My bfs income tax is being held and reviewed so he wont be getting anything anytime soon. We were depending on it to buy us two cars. Hes been asking for rides to and from work from his family and a coworker. Its been 2 months since our cars tranny went out. His family is tired of helping him out with rides. He pays gas to everyone that helps so its not like hes free loading. Anyways, His mom convinced him that we (Me and Him) can afford car payments so she took him to look for a new car. I am not working but i do receive money monthly from when my mom passed away (different story). Well we sat to talk about it and according to him its gonna be HIS car and HIS payments and I have no say in anything whatsoever. Keep in mind that we share a banking account and my money is his and vice Versa. I pay for the rent and utilities with my portion and groceries. Whatever else we need for the home or anything is usually bought when he gets paid. Never have we split anything up.

 

Well after he said all that about the new car I left at that since he thinks he knows everything. So he got paid friday and his pay check is pretty much gone so he told his mom that he can still look for a car because he can use "my money". I look at him and said "NO. You wanted the car for yourself and you said it was your business not mine and that you didnt need my help." So he left about an hour ago With what he has left from his check.

 

Now I know we need a car mainly him for his job but hes the one who said he didnt need my help. When we had our old car and he didnt have gas money i helped him. His mom NEVER helps him when he needs it. Its always my aunt whos there for us.

If he would have apologized and admitted he was wrong for saying that I would have been more than happy to help. But the fact that he wanted to feel like hes the only one paying bills and I dont help out pissed me off.

Was I wrong? I know the post probably sounds like it doesnt make sense. So if any questions feel free to ask.

 

Please no bashing. If it was a bitchy move on my part i will apologize and help.

 

 

EDIT

Weve had a joint account since we moved in together. We have never had any money issues whatsoever. Until His mom decided to butt into our business. We had already decided to a used car and when we received the letter from the irs. Thats when his mom kept telling him to get a new a car and that it was best. He is still learning how to be a family and a bf. I am his first gf and this is his first child as well. Weve had issues in the past with him buying things he wanted but its not what he needed. He didnt undertstand the difference. But since then hes been great with it all. He stepped up as a bf and father and we talk about buying things we want before going out and just doing it. This is the first time hes ever done anything like this so I dont know how to take it. I know he wont run off with any money i have in the account but than again i only put in whats needed for rent and what i pay.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:51 PM

nope i would have done the same thing

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:53 PM

Thank you but I feel bad about it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:54 PM
4 moms liked this
I think it's time to have your own back account and only your money and name on it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry he was wrong and he has the wrong attitude. I would not be putting a dime into as he says his car. It is time for you to find work and get your own car. He would have to figure out away to afford the payments himself. Don't get yourself into that situation. When a person shows you who they are no matter how much you love them believe what they say.

I don't like the attitude that he displayed to you and I will advise you to separate your finances until you are married. He sound a little selfish and he needs to rethink how he said things to you. The only reason why he hasn't apologized dear is because he meant what he said.

livric
by Platinum Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:56 PM

nah, he was an ass sorry :(  I would have shown him the door with that attitude.. good luck OP

naenae1712
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:56 PM
I think you are in the right. He said he could do it his self without talking to you about it.
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LilliesValley
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:56 PM
Ummm you're not wrong. He sounds controling and unapreciative. I wouldn't be sharing a bank account with him without being married but you may want to get a seperate account for the money from your mom.

Op I'd be very concerned over this what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine attitude from your bf. Either its all your money together or its not. Maybe seperate accounts for incoming money and a joint account to pay bills. If it continues your not married and there's no reason to put up with attitude like this.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:57 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't either... honestly- you aren't married. If this car is going to be in his name- you are screwed if you guys break up.
nebcutie
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:58 PM
I would do the same thing and stick to it. I might also watch it if you have any money in the bank cause he might just pull it out. Hopefully he will not but you never know with the change in attitude.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:01 PM

 I am currently looking for a job but I am a SAHM to 2 babies but I still have an income. Reason he was getting me a car with his taxes was because he claimed my oldest son which isnt his. He is selfish at times and he knows it. When we first got together it was really bad and he has been changing it. Hes never had a real gf or family so hes still new to the whole family comes first and the difference between wants and needs. I dont expect an apology but if he did do it I would help. We have never had any problems before with our finances. But since his mom is so damn nosy she puts all this crap in his head about every little thing and it causes us to argue.


Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry he was wrong and he has the wrong attitude. I would not be putting a dime into as he says his car. It is time for you to find work and get your own car. He would have to figure out away to afford the payments himself. Don't get yourself into that situation. When a person shows you who they are no matter how much you love them believe what they say.

I don't like the attitude that he displayed to you and I will advise you to separate your finances until you are married. He sound a little selfish and he needs to rethink how he said things to you. The only reason why he hasn't apologized dear is because he meant what he said.


 

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