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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

There are two sides to every story - calling all moms with ex's and step moms

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
1 mom liked this
I am a step mom, and sometimes I come on here and I bitch about mom. It's safe to bitch here, because I am not contributing to the drama between my husband and his ex.

Sometimes, I come on here and I search from posts by moms bitching about step mom, just to see it from a different light.

Often times, I take mom's side, over my husband, because he has some unrealistic ideas . Other times, I take my husbands side, because I feel mom has unreasonable requests. In the end, I look out for my son, then my step daughter, my self, and then my husband - in that order.

But I am not mom to my stepdaughter and I am not dad to my step daughter. I am step mom. To me this means that my opinion only matters if one of her parents wants it to matter or if the situation has the potential to negatively impact my son.

Mom's - what is the one thing that irritates you the most about your child's step mom ? What gets under your skin about your child's father as a parent, not as your ex?

I honestly want to see it from both sides. I usually do, but constructive advice should be welcomed in every situation

step moms - what is one thing that you or your husband has learned to do in order to help the situation? One thing you have learned not to do?

I've only been a step mom for 2 years, and I have learned that mom didn't ask for my help, and it's my husbands job to appreciate me, not moms.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PerfectVirgo
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:29 AM
My ex doesn't bother to see our 3 kids. Since the day I filed for divorce 4 years ago. The youngest is 7. So it irritates me that his new live in girlfriend has 2 children the same age as my oldest 2. But it's really his loss. And now I fight tooth and nail to keep him gone.
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MiddleAgeMess
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:32 AM
OP, message me.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:36 AM
1 mom liked this
I just want to say that you sound like an awesome step mom. You don't even over step your boundaries.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:41 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

I just want to say that you sound like an awesome step mom. You don't even over step your boundaries.



Why thank you! To be honest, it is selfish. I don't like drama, and I hate being the center of it. I am not going to insert myself into a situation that could potentially cause me to be the cause of the drama. There's enough of it to go around in any blended family situation.

I just want to be happy - it's hard learning to just butt out, but it makes life easier :-).
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:43 AM
Quoting PerfectVirgo:

My ex doesn't bother to see our 3 kids. Since the day I filed for divorce 4 years ago. The youngest is 7. So it irritates me that his new live in girlfriend has 2 children the same age as my oldest 2. But it's really his loss. And now I fight tooth and nail to keep him gone.



I can't say I blame you one bit. My ex stuck around for about 6 months after I left him. It's been 3 years now, since he has seen my son.

As much as I want my son to have his daddy, I don't want him to be hurt by a daddy that doesn't care enough to stick it out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:46 AM
One thing i hate about my daughters stepmom is she wants ME out of MY daughters life ans she drinks.

One thing i hate about her my daughters dad is he forces our child to call his wife mommy and she has all the control when it comes to him dealing with me .

I've learned that by not dealing with them and making them go thru my mom the drama is cut completely out that way i have a witness when it comes court time.
strangeyfine
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:49 AM

I'm not a step mom, but my dad did remarry after he divorced my mom. They didn't get married until I was 23, and yet she gets mad that I don't introduce her to people as my step mom. So if, when she grows up, she doesn't, (even though you were are part of her life as a child) don't get mad, she just wants to respect her own mom.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:54 AM

I'm a bm & sm. My ds's bf is not in his life so can't help there but as a sm we've learned (in our situation) to just let bm live in her fantasy land and document everything. We've learned if she tries to start a fight just ignore her until she calms down. Really that's the best advice I have. But that's our situation and each is different. We just take care of sd and love her the best we can and teach her responsibility, guidance, morals & values. All we really can do. (We are actually about to be heading back to court for full custody because bm is neglectful medically & physically & just a bunch of stuff...so my input is probably a little off of a 'normal' situation)

masonsmommy107
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:55 AM
I had a horrible expeience with my stepmom she had my dad choose between her and me and my sister and he chose her! I didn't hear from him till I was 18! He said he don't want to be around us because of my mom. My question from the kids pov is if mom was a rageing bitch always makeing it impossible to see the kids would you tell dh to fight to see dd or you'll leave or choose you and give up on trying to see her?
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GwenGray
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:57 AM
1 mom liked this

agreed

Quoting Anonymous:

I just want to say that you sound like an awesome step mom. You don't even over step your boundaries.


I'm a belly dancing and sword fighting mama of 2. I'm married to my high school sweet heart. I plan on enlisting to the army very soon, and having more kids :)

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