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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"Twilight" is Ruining my Sister's Marriage

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My sister is in her early 30s with a wonderful husband and two kids (4 and 1).  Her husband and my DH are best friends yet they live quite far from us.  For the past 2 years her husband has been communicating with us that he is really worried about her.  She is very non-communicative, she doesn't interact well with the kids, she won't leave the house and he feels she is lying to him about what she does during the day - she is a SAHM.

When then"Twilight" books first came out, my sis thought they were awesome.  She would post excerpts, biographies about the characters, and when the movies came out, clips and pictures all on her FB page.  I kind of shrugged them off.  Thought it was weird and a little obsessive, but nothing to be concerned about, sort of like a teen crush.  Sis eventually changed her FB, and deleted all her friends other than friends she had on a "Twilight" chat group.  She said that she did it because she only used FB to communicate with her "Twilight" friends.

I went out to visit her last month and was shocked.  She spends all day, every day, communicating with other women on this chat group.  They discuss, ad nausium, specific details about the movies and books.  She completely ignores her kids while she is chatting and when her DH calls or comes home, she lies about what she has been doing.  She doesn't see it as a problem but rather a normal release of stress.  But she fantasizes about the characters to the point that sometimes I am not sure if she realizes they are not real.  

Sorry so long, but I think she needs help but don't know how to convince her or her husband that something is seriously wrong.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Replies (31-40):
Miller0305
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:20 AM
She needs a family intervention and some severe therapy.
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kdjdod081013
by Ruby Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:21 AM
Oh wow she needs help. I have depression and sometimes use the internet to escape. But I'm not that serious, I can do what I need to and not let my babies suffer for it. I don't think you have to prove she is dangerous, just that there is legit cause for concern. Turning off the internet may be a good idea. When I start trying to escape into the internet DH takes my laptop cord and makes me talk it out. I walked away from CM for over a year to focus on my family.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:23 AM


In some ways I think this obsession with fictional characters has been going on for a long time.  She had an obsession with Jane Austin in college but now it seems she has a wider "support group" for her obsession.

Quoting IhartU:

 She's living her happiness though fictional characters, so obviously that is lacking in her real life. She was probably unhappy for a long time...



vwd_johnson
by Ruby Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:26 AM
Isn't this the same as us all sitting on this dumb site? Or Facebook? Or Twitter?

I get that she's more focusing on people in the book/movie, but I think Social Sites in general are an obsession for most.

Maybe talk to her DH about shutting off the internet for a month and see how it goes.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:26 AM
If it was one of my sisters I would flat out tell her what I thought. My sisters, my mom and I are very close.

We are all twilight fans but not even close to obsessed like that. Good luck.
3kidz123
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:35 AM

Sounds like she has real problems in her real life and she's using twilight to excape into a fantasy land. She needs a theripist so she can deal with the problems she's running from.

This is no diffrent than turning to drugs or drinking, it sounds weird because so many people turn to drinking and drugs that those two sound normal, but at the end of the day she is running from something and she needs help just like any other addict!

Think about it? What are the signs of an addict?

-lying

-blowing off responsibilitys

-ignoring their old friends for new (addict) friends

-denial

-being deffensive when confronted

she needs help, try starting with her husband, try calling an addiction hotline for some advise and tips on how to talk to her together and get her some help!

IhartU
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:36 AM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 

In some ways I think this obsession with fictional characters has been going on for a long time.  She had an obsession with Jane Austin in college but now it seems she has a wider "support group" for her obsession.

Quoting IhartU:

 She's living her happiness though fictional characters, so obviously that is lacking in her real life. She was probably unhappy for a long time...

 

 

  The fictional characters people become obsessed with usually mirror a part of themselves they can identify most with. Maybe she has always felt no one understand certain aspects of her personality and when she finds a fictional character that contains that very part, she latches onto it and by discussing it with other people, she connects with them; something she cannot do in real life.

 She should be able to bond with her husband- to talk to him about herself and her feelings but since she can't and that makes her unhappy, she talks with others on-line who can and will make her happy. IMO, she needs personal therapy AND marriage counselling.

zebbyzebby06
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:37 AM
Sounds like some cm women...only it twilight haha
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:39 AM
He didn't measure up to edward either so she started looking for her edward... she married that guy within weeks of their divorce and divorced him to within months. I guess she is still searching. We knew it would become a problem when she got a back piece tattoo of the hands and apple or whatever that is. Talk to your sister, this can get really ugly for her.

Quoting Anonymous:


I don't think, at least at this point, she would cheat.  I don't think any man would measure up to Edward.  Unfortunately, in her mind, her husband can't compare.


Quoting Anonymous:

Yup. Same thing happened with my cousins wife then she started cheating.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:40 AM
I didn't stop anime all together. Right now Gundam Wing is playing for my sons to watch. What I found I could do was share the anime with my children and I found that I did not want my kids to be neglected and abused like me. This all came about with the help of my therapist. It is hard some days. I get depressed easily, but those days I know that I cannot get onto the internet or watch any anime.

Quoting Anonymous:

I am so sorry.  I do understand that my sis is trying to escape from her family.  There is no abuse but in her mind, not as "perfect" as her fantasy.  I just don't know how to get her help or even make her understand that this is a problem.  If you don't mind me asking, how did you stop anime? 



Quoting Anonymous:

I did that with anime to escape my abusive family and then to help me battle my PTSD and depression from being abused. I had a therapist and she needs one too.




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