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"Twilight" is Ruining my Sister's Marriage

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My sister is in her early 30s with a wonderful husband and two kids (4 and 1).  Her husband and my DH are best friends yet they live quite far from us.  For the past 2 years her husband has been communicating with us that he is really worried about her.  She is very non-communicative, she doesn't interact well with the kids, she won't leave the house and he feels she is lying to him about what she does during the day - she is a SAHM.

When then"Twilight" books first came out, my sis thought they were awesome.  She would post excerpts, biographies about the characters, and when the movies came out, clips and pictures all on her FB page.  I kind of shrugged them off.  Thought it was weird and a little obsessive, but nothing to be concerned about, sort of like a teen crush.  Sis eventually changed her FB, and deleted all her friends other than friends she had on a "Twilight" chat group.  She said that she did it because she only used FB to communicate with her "Twilight" friends.

I went out to visit her last month and was shocked.  She spends all day, every day, communicating with other women on this chat group.  They discuss, ad nausium, specific details about the movies and books.  She completely ignores her kids while she is chatting and when her DH calls or comes home, she lies about what she has been doing.  She doesn't see it as a problem but rather a normal release of stress.  But she fantasizes about the characters to the point that sometimes I am not sure if she realizes they are not real.  

Sorry so long, but I think she needs help but don't know how to convince her or her husband that something is seriously wrong.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:41 AM


Thank you for this.  It makes it sound simple, which it is, she has an addiction.  When I speak with DH and my BIl they see it as a phase.  BIL I think is ready the try to deal more aggressively with the issue as he sees it adversely affecting his kids and family life.  Because it is fictional characters rather than a substance, it has made it difficult to get people to see it as a real problem.

Quoting 3kidz123:

Sounds like she has real problems in her real life and she's using twilight to excape into a fantasy land. She needs a theripist so she can deal with the problems she's running from.

This is no diffrent than turning to drugs or drinking, it sounds weird because so many people turn to drinking and drugs that those two sound normal, but at the end of the day she is running from something and she needs help just like any other addict!

Think about it? What are the signs of an addict?

-lying

-blowing off responsibilitys

-ignoring their old friends for new (addict) friends

-denial

-being deffensive when confronted

she needs help, try starting with her husband, try calling an addiction hotline for some advise and tips on how to talk to her together and get her some help!



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:42 AM

She should see a therapist.

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:44 AM

She needs to shut off the internet and live life for about a year. Then ease back in slowly. I used to be addicted to a video game and what you described is kinda how I was minus any children. I sold my xbox and didn't log into that game for two years. Now I can play it only at night and often times I go months before logging back in. It just wears off after not being on it that long.

Photo: -Randi.

OneToughMami
by Ruby Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:48 AM
1 mom liked this

It's a shame that your sister would choose to engulf herself in a book that is written on a level that my 9 year old can read and comprehend.

Byrd15
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:48 AM

Um she needs help!

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leavinglasvegas
by Bronze Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:56 AM

Has BIl tried shutting off the internet access at the house for a day or even for a few hours?

There was a post on here the other day (can't find it - sorry!) from a woman who was starting therapy because she was so obsessed with Twilight she has begun to think it is real - she sits and wonders what the characters are doing right that very minute in life. And she understands somewhere in the back of her mind that they are NOT real, but day-to-day it's all she thinks about and can no longer live a normal life.

Perhaps if he removes her access she'll get anxious enough that it can be a catalyst for a conversation? I can imagine that she'll just get defensive if it's brought up in casual conversation. Also, she'll have to see it herself and you won't be able to have her committed for her problem. She isn't doing anything illegal and she isn't a danger to anyone.

Mom2Jake08
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:04 AM
Is she team Edward or Jacob?
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spiritedsoul
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:05 AM

I would go to her husband & children privately & convince them to do an intervention for her. Have each person tell her how it makes them feel when she ignores them for the internet. It works on TV/Movies... It's worth a shot if it's that big of a concern!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:07 AM


Initially I just brushed it off.  My sis majored in Elizabethian Literature and "Twilight" was the last book I thought she would be interested in.  I can't make it through the first in the series which in and of itself has brought a rift to our relationship!

Quoting OneToughMami:

It's a shame that your sister would choose to engulf herself in a book that is written on a level that my 9 year old can read and comprehend.



RaynesMommy07
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:09 AM
I think she's suffering from something else mentally maybe she has PPD.
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