church is "forcing" me to an abortion

My fiance and I are getting married in August at his parents church. His family is paying for 50% of the wedding and my family is paying for 50%. We've been planning for over a year and lots of money and deposits are already paid.

Now we found out (on Friday) that I am pregnant. We were not trying, but were obviously too casual about preventing. The church has a policy that you cannot get married there if you are pregnant or have a kid.

We are both young (22 and 23) and don't really feel ready for a child, but we also sort-of want to keep the baby, but his family would pull all their support and the church would not let us get married there, so we have an appointment next week for an abortion (my 2nd...I had one from a high school relationship).

It just seems strange to me that as we listed the pro's and cons of the situation we were evenly split on keeping it or abortion and the fact that the church won't let us get married was the tipping point.

We can't get married if we have a kid or are pregnant but if we have an abortion then we can get married.

[Melissa_4]

Forget the church for a moment.  Deposits are paid, but you can have a JP wedding, get married in an Episcopal or Methodist church while pregnant, and still have the reception.  Your dress can be altered to fit the belly, or you can get a different dress.  This is not a big deal.  The BIG deal is whether YOU and YOUR FI are ready to become parents so soon after marrying.  

Good luck honey.

[Toxic.Stardust]

you can get married somewhere else. you can have a smaller wedding. The church isn't FORCING you to do anything.

[_ClearFruit_]

That's sad

[happehcrone]

 Not to mention there have to be plenty of places to have a "nice wedding"...I'm having a hard time believing this could seriously be "for real"...unbelieveable...wow...

Quoting sandra_t00:

That is fucked up. Are you sure an abortion is what you want? Just so you can have a nice wedding?

 

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

they are not telling us to abort...but if we do and don't tell them then we can move forward with our plans...if we don't then we can't.

Quoting GELiz:

Well, this is counter intuitive. Go to a justice of peace and forget a church that wants you to get an abortion. Though I wonder if you are just accusing them of that since they won't perform the wedding if you are pregnant- not tellling you to get an abortion. They have a right to decide that if they want to and you whould go to another church. theya re not the only ones that performs weddings.

go a different route.

[heavenV]

Omg did you go to my x-church? Lol see my dh and I were married through court in 2006. But plan to have a church wedding & reception on 2007. Found out I was pregnant early 2007.





They kicked me out of the choir. And decided that they wouldnt marry us.





I left and found another church. Plus I still had my church wedding and reception.

[redhead-bedhead]

I'm trying to remind myself that I'm pro-choice and it's not any of my business.

I really want to tell you that you are a bleeding moron.

[Anonymous]

Good to see you have your priorities straight. SMDH

[model1000mom]

I would get married at the JP before basing a decision to abort my child on getting married in a church. WTF is wrong with people these days?

[Johariz]

What church is that? My brother married his wife in the catholic church when she was pregnant.