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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He finally admitted it, but didn't actually apologize.

Posted by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:18 PM
  • 20 Replies

 I just got a call from my oldest brother, who is again, homeless and claims that he was robbed at gunpoint last night.

A little backstory that I've told on here before: He raped me when I was just 5 years old and he was 15. I didn't remember it until my dad passed away when I was 30. I am 35 now and have been in therapy for it and other issues. In 2007, he attempted suicide by way of Od'ing on insulin. He wasn't diabetic. His blood sugar dropped to nearly nothing, he went into a coma for 20 days. When he came out of the coma, he had to learn to walk and talk all over again. His Dr diagnosed him with dementia, among other things related to the Od. Well, after about a year, he was mostly back to himself except for the dementia. He has insisted on living on his own, but he can't manage his money very well. He lets his "friends" take advantage of him. BUT I can not let him stay here. I tried to let him stay here last April when he was homeless, but the anxiety was over powering. I just couldn't do it. Now, he's homeless yet again, swears he was robbed last night and wants me to let him stay here until the beginning of next month. I finally told him I couldn't do it and confronted him about the abuse. He finally admitted it, but did not apologize. I told him the only way I could help him is for him to go to an assisted living facility here where we live. He said he would think about it. If he says no, I don't know what to tell him. I told him that too. I guess I feel a little relief with him admitting it. I had asked him about it before and he denied it tooth and nail. I don't know how to feel. :( I guess I will be calling my therapist in the morning for an appointment to talk about it.

Opinions? Words of advice? Anything?

by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd have nothing to do with him. He's a cancer to you. Call a therapist for I'm sure this is very hard for you.
kymom23
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:26 PM

 I guess I should confirm why I say he "claims" he was robbed last night. He's a pathalogical liar. Has been since he was a teenager. You could tell him the sky was blue and he would swear it was green. That's one thing that didn't change with the od. He just got his SS and SSI on his card at 1am, said he had walked to Walmart to get something to eat and some cigarettes and as he was walking back, some guys pulled a gun on him and demanded the rest of his money that he had taken off the card at the ATM. He was planning on paying his rent at the room he lived in at a motel the next morning. Not sure if I believe him, but I can find out easily by calling the police station tomorrow morning. Will they tell me that kind of information?

Well, he got the SSI on the 1st, but it's only like $100. He gets the SS on the 3rd.

kymom23
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:31 PM

 Thank you. I am definitely calling my therapist in the morning. Maybe they will have an opening soon. I'm not due to go until the end of the month. I don't really know how I feel right now. It's weird. It's almost like I'm in shock I guess. I don't really know how to explain it. But I've always felt like I had a responsibility for him since our mother won't take care of him. I don't know why I feel that way either. I guess because he is my brother. I don't know. So confused right now. :(

Quoting Anonymous:

I'd have nothing to do with him. He's a cancer to you. Call a therapist for I'm sure this is very hard for you.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:36 PM

 This.  Also, you aren't responsible for rescuing him.  In fact, unless he's left completely on his own with no help whatsoever, he may never get to the point that he will admit he has some serious problems and seek/accept help.  He may not anyway.  Either way it isn't your concern.  You owe him nothing. Take care of yourself.  Good luck.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'd have nothing to do with him. He's a cancer to you. Call a therapist for I'm sure this is very hard for you.


 

FL2AK
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Get him out of your life. You do not owe him anything.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kattu
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:40 PM
I would cut ties.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LovelyCorrupt
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:42 PM
I understand why u don't want him in ur home and its nice that u are finding other ways for him to get help. Maybe he should also see a therapist.
It seems that u don't believe the robbed at gunpoint story so I have a few questions. Has he lied abt similar things in the past? Or he is just a liar?
Long and short, if u can't function with him in the house, u can't properly care for him. U did the right thing by saying no
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:44 PM
I went through the same thing as a child. Only one who knows is my other half, and I didn't go into detail.

Hun don't do it (allow him to stay with you).
kymom23
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:48 PM
2 moms liked this

 I'm glad my kids are in the bed. I'm going to have a screwdriver to calm my nerves. I'm seriously shaking so bad right now that it's hard to type this. I think the best thing for me to do is call Adult Protective Services and let them deal with this. At least that way, it will make sure he is cared for and I won't have to take any responsibility for him. This is the first I have talked to him since I had to make him leave last April.

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 3, 2013 at 11:48 PM

Darlin....kick that ASSHOLE to the curb once and for ALL. YOU don't owe him anything.

  

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