I have a hard time respecting women who.....

Don't have custody of their children.

If I hear about a woman who doesn't have custody of her children, I always wonder why? There is nothing in this world that could make me give up my children, nor would I ever allow myself to be in a position to lose them. You are their mother, you are supposed to be the most stable part of their life (you, and their father). I am not talking about shared custody with a father. I completely understand and greatly respect that. I am talking about the mothers whose child lives with their parents, or lives with the father full time, etc. Those kinds of situations just don't make sense to me.

I'm sure there are going to be people who have a fit and tell me that I don't know these people's situations. And they will be right, I don't. But I cannot picture a situation that for me it would be acceptable to give up my children. To me, a mother always finds a way.

[mrssummerlin]

What about father's who don't have custody, do you have a hard time respecting them as well?

[Anonymous 1 - Original Poster]

I feel that situation is different. You have obviously raised him, and quite well if he even has a shot at getting into Princeton.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 I allowed my oldest ds this year to live with his father full time. He is trying to get into Princeton next year so it was best he establish residency in NJ before applying. Is that reason good enough for you,or no?

[Vipergirl22]

If it happened now and I had to choose to keep my daughter or give her to dh. I would give her to dh. I don't have the means to support myself or her if we divorced. And it isn't fair to my dd to keep her if I can't take care of her. If I could take care of her then I would most definitely keep her. It isn't about me..to me it is about who can take care of her best.

[EvilAsh]

Sometimes it's better for the kids to be with the father. A man isn't capable of raising a child? 

[Anonymous 1 - Original Poster]

Fathers who do not see their children at all? yes. Fathers who see their kids every other weekend or whatever, but the mother has custody? No.

Quoting mrssummerlin:

What about father's who don't have custody, do you have a hard time respecting them as well?

[carterscutie85]

Sometimes, a Mom realizes she just can't handle the responsibilities and she makes the best choice she could make by placing that child with someone who can care for them the way they deserve. I would never look down on someone for that reason.

[needsupport100]

I can tell you from experience, i have more respect for any parent that will WILLINGLY walk away from their children's life if their life isn't good around the children (yes they shouldn't be living a life the kids can't be around) but it better to walk away than to drag your kids through it and put htem and the other parent through hell to TAKE the child from the fucked up parent.

i my dh has two bm's and i have more respect for the mom that 'walked away" than i do for the one who will continue to live her life and not worry about the negative impacts is has on her kids

[MrsDavidB25]

 Thank you. And yes I raised ds until he was 16. But it just goes to show that there are some situations where mom isn't a POS and lost the kids. Sometimes there is a good reason.

Quoting Anonymous:

I feel that situation is different. You have obviously raised him, and quite well if he even has a shot at getting into Princeton.

 

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 I allowed my oldest ds this year to live with his father full time. He is trying to get into Princeton next year so it was best he establish residency in NJ before applying. Is that reason good enough for you,or no?

 

 

 

[Anonymous 2]

If a person started doing drugs after having kids, then I have no respect for them either. But I'm talking about those mothers already on that path, who got pregnant while already screwed up. Just like stupid teenagers getting pregnant, alcoholic or drug addicted women can get pregnant too.

Quoting Anonymous:

No, I do not understand how you could let yourself get unstable like that.

I have kids, so I won't start doing drugs. It's as simple as that.

Quoting Anonymous:

You can't picture that maybe that mother is unstable? Maybe she's on drugs, or was, and is trying to get clean and sober? My ex's SIL was in that situation. She had to give up her daughter for the girl's sake. Her mother took charge while she fixed herself. She says she regrets her past, but 18 years later, her and her daughter are closer than ever.

[model1000mom]

eh I dont know their circumstances and honestly women can be assholes too. I dont care who has custody as long as the children/child is beiong cared for (A single father can do exactly what a single mother can do)