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I have a hard time respecting women who.....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Don't have custody of their children.

If I hear about a woman who doesn't have custody of her children, I always wonder why? There is nothing in this world that could make me give up my children, nor would I ever allow myself to be in a position to lose them. You are their mother, you are supposed to be the most stable part of their life (you, and their father). I am not talking about shared custody with a father. I completely understand and greatly respect that. I am talking about the mothers whose child lives with their parents, or lives with the father full time, etc. Those kinds of situations just don't make sense to me.

I'm sure there are going to be people who have a fit and tell me that I don't know these people's situations. And they will be right, I don't. But I cannot picture a situation that for me it would be acceptable to give up my children. To me, a mother always finds a way.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Replies (21-30):
by Rebecca on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:32 AM
I agree unless its an older child who chooses to live with their father or something.
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by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:32 AM
It more bothers me the mothers who give up custody to move away with the new guy they are with, and start a "new" family. My niece was given up by her mom in that way. Now her father is terminal and the mother said she does not want her, so sad.
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:32 AM

Yes if she was chosing drugs over her child I would absolutely look down on her!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

You can't picture that maybe that mother is unstable? Maybe she's on drugs, or was, and is trying to get clean and sober? My ex's SIL was in that situation. She had to give up her daughter for the girl's sake. Her mother took charge while she fixed herself. She says she regrets her past, but 18 years later, her and her daughter are closer than ever.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Me too. My aunt doesn't have custody of hers, lost it when the youngest was barely 2. Now the youngest is 16 and she's never gone back to court to fight it. Loser.
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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Eh I don't care who has custody as long as the child is well cared for.  Nothing in the world saying a father can't look after the child...sometimes it's in the kids best interest.  In any case, not my business.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:33 AM

 I agree. :/

by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:33 AM
I think that women who think about what's best for their children and leave them in the best possible care are strong. That's a tough decision. Sometimes mom just isn't in a place where she can provide for them. Or is unable. Just because she doesn't have custody doesn't mean she doesn't see them.

Why is it ok for dads to only have partial custody but if mom has it it's bad?

And as for cases where they lose their kids. I get what you're saying.
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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:34 AM

I've worked very hard to make sure I am never in that position. I have a wonderful husband, but even if he left me tomorrow I could still support myself and my kids on my own. I couldn't imagine not having my kids.

Quoting Vipergirl22:

If it happened now and I had to choose to keep my daughter or give her to dh. I would give her to dh. I don't have the means to support myself or her if we divorced. And it isn't fair to my dd to keep her if I can't take care of her. If I could take care of her then I would most definitely keep her. It isn't about me it is about who can take care of her best.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:35 AM

What I don't understand is how a woman can let herself get in a position where it is actually better for a child to be with anyone but their mother.

Quoting EvilAsh:

Sometimes it's better for the kids to be with the father. A man isn't capable of raising a child? 

by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:35 AM
Though I agree with you. There are situations where a mother knows she can't provide one thing stable for her children so she rather lose custody and have them live a stable life with someone else. But I know what you mean. I would never let myself not be stable for my son.
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