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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I have a hard time respecting women who.....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Don't have custody of their children.

If I hear about a woman who doesn't have custody of her children, I always wonder why? There is nothing in this world that could make me give up my children, nor would I ever allow myself to be in a position to lose them. You are their mother, you are supposed to be the most stable part of their life (you, and their father). I am not talking about shared custody with a father. I completely understand and greatly respect that. I am talking about the mothers whose child lives with their parents, or lives with the father full time, etc. Those kinds of situations just don't make sense to me.

I'm sure there are going to be people who have a fit and tell me that I don't know these people's situations. And they will be right, I don't. But I cannot picture a situation that for me it would be acceptable to give up my children. To me, a mother always finds a way.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Replies (31-40):
ccnstanczak
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:35 AM

 when my parents divorced they agreed that my brother and i live with my dad(mostly for financial reasons). my mom is awesome and we are very close. She was and still is an amazing mother. Yes she did raise me, although they were divorced, they were great parents.

jas_momof2
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:35 AM

This EXACTLY!

Quoting QueenBof6:

I think that women who think about what's best for their children and leave them in the best possible care are strong. That's a tough decision. Sometimes mom just isn't in a place where she can provide for them. Or is unable. Just because she doesn't have custody doesn't mean she doesn't see them.


Why is it ok for dads to only have partial custody but if mom has it it's bad?

And as for cases where they lose their kids. I get what you're saying.



lorial58
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:35 AM
3 moms liked this

I was just saying on one of the other boards that my son was born severely disfigured with several organ problems that had to be surgically repaired.  His mother had the courage to give him up saying she couldn't stand the sight of him.  While I could never do that I respect that fact that she didn't keep him hidden away or beat him for her hatred of him.  She knew she couldn't handle this responsibility and did the RESPONSIBLE thing.  You don't know how many children out there are living with daily abuse because their mothers are too cowardly to step up and say "I was never meant to be a mother."


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:36 AM

women who dont have custody of their kids probaly have a real bad reason why they are not...

MiddleAgeMess
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Sometimes great mothers sacrific for their children by letting them live with TD for a variety of reasons. I think it's something to consider, especially if TM is a single mother to preteen/teen boys.

Also, if TD is remarried and TM is not, td's house may be an environment that can devote more time to the children.

As a single mom w/o td's involvement AT ALL I rarely saw my ds for a period of time because I was busy making ends meet. Thank god for grandma & grandpa.
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BEXi
by BEXi on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:37 AM

 I cant help but judge either. My exes GF has her older daughter living with her parents in another state while they kept their 2 year old son. I dont get it but they are pill heads, so I never will understand their logic.

 

 

ETA* I can understand in cases of mental/physical disabilities though.

                    

EvilAsh
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:37 AM

Maybe it's for financial reasons? Illness? You don't know. It's not always because the woman is a loser.

Quoting Anonymous:

What I don't understand is how a woman can let herself get in a position where it is actually better for a child to be with anyone but their mother.


Quoting EvilAsh:

Sometimes it's better for the kids to be with the father. A man isn't capable of raising a child? 




CafeMom Tickers
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:39 AM

Adoption is an entirely different thing. I completely respect women who give their children up for adoption.

Quoting lorial58:

I was just saying on one of the other boards that my son was born severely disfigured with several organ problems that had to be surgically repaired.  His mother had the courage to give him up saying she couldn't stand the sight of him.  While I could never do that I respect that fact that she didn't keep him hidden away or beat him for her hatred of him.  She knew she couldn't handle this responsibility and did the RESPONSIBLE thing.  You don't know how many children out there are living with daily abuse because their mothers are too cowardly to step up and say "I was never meant to be a mother."




Vipergirl22
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:39 AM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

I've worked very hard to make sure I am never in that position. I have a wonderful husband, but even if he left me tomorrow I could still support myself and my kids on my own. I couldn't imagine not having my kids.

Quoting Vipergirl22:

If it happened now and I had to choose to keep my daughter or give her to dh. I would give her to dh. I don't have the means to support myself or her if we divorced. And it isn't fair to my dd to keep her if I can't take care of her. If I could take care of her then I would most definitely keep her. It isn't about me..to me it is about who can take care of her best.

 

 

I can't either but dh is what would be best for her right now. Later probably when she goes to school that might change. I think it would be selfish to keep her if I can't support her. Luckily I don't have to worry about that..

 

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:39 AM

 I agree

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