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Sooo DH and I caught his daughter having sex in the pool... ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My 15 year old step daughter has been going through it. And by "it" I mean the rebellious teen who hates her dads new wife and wishes she could stay with her Mom(her mother is in jail for tax evasion). Now... I'm not perfect! Neither is DH! But my step daughter is possibly the worst child I have ever encountered in my entire life(DH and I have a five year old, ten year old, twelve year old and a fourteen year old and I don't want SD around them. We had the kids after we got married). She was suspended for smoking weed in school, she fights all of the time and she was just recently beat up for using racial slurs(DH and I are not racist and we've never used this form of language.. EVER! But she called these two girls a nigger and a wetback). DH and I were not upset about her getting her ass kicked because... well.... she deserved it. You do not talk to people like that!

So anyway, she's suspended for ten days because last week she decided to tell the teacher: "Fuck off you fucking faggot!" DH and I work full time and all of the kids are in school. When we leave, we drop SD off at a volunteer shelter so she can keep occupied while we're away. So, its been a long time since DH and I have had some alone time, so we took off work early and decided to enjoy each other. We get in the house, put on our bathing suits and head downstairs. Now, on our way down the stairs, we could hear some loud moans and we couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. We go outside and see our beloved daughter on her hands and knees with some grown man behind her(I say grown man because her had a fully grown beard, mustache and chest hair. We later found out that he was only 17). 

This was yesterday. Now I'm sitting her confused about what the hell to do. DH wants to send her away but IDK if that'll be a good idea. Help please?

DH and I were actually engaged when SD was born. Yes he cheated on me with his ex. Yes I took him. We got full custody of SD but her mom had visitation. She was arrested when SD was around 2 or 3? Not really sure.

ANYWAY! I was the one being a mother to that little girl! I was wiping her nose and staying up with her because she had the flu! I was the one buying her bras and teaching her about her body and what to expect once she matures. ME! DH allowed her to write her mother and she just flipped! She stopped going on her daddy daughter days with dh and started acting up. When she first did this, DH and I got her into counseling. I was the one PHYSICALLY dragging her little ass in that building three times a week and guarding the door just incase she made a run for it. I was the one taking her to get birth control and covering for her the first time I caught her having sex. DH was the one following her around school and sitting in every single one of her classes for two month straight. When she got called a whore, I was the one rallying for the kid who called her a whore to get suspended. When she got beat up by some kids girlfriend DH and I were the ones making sure that girl got her placed in jail so don't you dare say we don't love that girl and don't you dare say we've given up on her because we haven't! We are fucking exhausted! We have other kids to take care of but we can't because we're constantly having to clean up whatever mess SD has caused! We missed our  14 year olds birthday last year because SD ran away! I forgot to pick my five year old up on time last week because I was too freaking busy picking SD up from school early because she was afraid to get on the bus. DH has to leave work at three o'clock every week day because SD has caused so much trouble that she's afraid to ride the bus. Do I think this behavior has a lot to do with her writing her mother? Hell yes! Because she didn't start acting up UNTIL she stated writing her mother. She doesn't even know her mother is in JAIL! She thinks her mother is away somewhere because she is afraid of DH. So don't you fucking DARE say DH and I are horrible parents. And don't you fucking DARE say we've given up! We are TIRED! We have full time jobs and other kids to take care of that we've been NEGLECTING because SD has gone on a fucking rampage!

I'm the one refusing to send her away because I'm afraid she'll get beat to death by those other kids. You don't understand the severity of this situation. She uses racial slurs like it's okay to say it! She has NEVER used any of this language before but she has recently just picked it up and she's using them like that's how you are supposed to talk to people. If we send her to a group home, those girls will eat her alive! She's a spoiled suburban kid. She didn't grow up in a rough home situation or neighborhood! She used to go to private school until she was kicked out.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Replies (151-158):
by motherknowsbest on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:17 PM
*in my elvis voice* thank you. thank you very much.

hope you feel better!! what happened to my anon button?!
I feel naked now!

and LOL at satan's jizz

Quoting Matriarch87:


lol, no not my period...I woke up this morning with a crazy head cold, I have a plugged nostril and the other is producing yellow and brown aliens, my throat feels like I swallowed a load of satan's jizz, my eyeballs hurt and my head feels like its in vise grips...vice of vise?  

Anyways, you charaded well as one of the grammar nazis...bravo...

Sorry I went all succubus on you.  

Quoting Anonymous:

LOL somebody's on their period! I wasn't even calling you out. & thank you for that extra knowledge. I'm not usually one to correct spelling, infact my spelling sucks. I just thought the irony of it was funny. jeez chill out.

Quoting Matriarch87:

Excuse me?  Firstly who gives a fuck if i've spelled a word wrong on this type of forum often accessed by mobile phone.  Secondly brite is absolutely a variant of the word bright.  

The very same kind of varient like colour, or color.  

Sure it's use was on the decline in the late 19th century and today brite is most popularly used in advertising.  Just a little more information for you.

What is funny is your apparent drive to seek assinine reasons to call people out.  Pathetic.
Oh, you spelled "its" wrong, it is "it's".  You're welcome.  
Quoting Anonymous:

Lol I think its funny you spelled bright wrong.

Quoting Matriarch87:

Eek. Idk. Whatever method would get to the root of her self destructive behavior. Sounds to me like she is depressed. Even the most rebellious naughtiest kids at my school understood that grades mattered for college...they would be hellions but it stayed out of the she either isn't real brite or so depressed she doesn't care about anything that effects her. The same logic for fucking the strange guy. Good luck.

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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM

 Ask yourself one question, if your BIOLOGICAL kids acted this way, would you talk of them with such disgust and hatred and be taking the same measures with THEM?

Or is it just limited to her because she is your SD?

And Do you deserve a cookie for doing what a mom(step or not) is SUPPOSED TO DO? I think not. You decided to get custody over her, so yes, you obviously are the one who is SUPPOSED to do all of those parental things with her, or do you think that your just so amazing because she is not your blood and you're doing it?

Maybe you are doing everything you can to help her, but the pure disdain for her that you keep spouting, and how she is "such an awful child" is not going to do one damn bit of good.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:27 PM

OK I'm going to tell you.... It is obvious you love her. She is more your DD than she is to her own mother. With that said.... you need to do something. YOu are right you have other children. My mom was a single mom with 2 kids and I had MAJOR problems. I started cutting at 11... by 15 I was out every night until 3 4 am.... things like that. My little brother got emoptionally neglected and yes it effects him even now many years later. If you must send her away. SOmething needs to be done. You and DH are doing what is best and you know that your other children need you. She does as well BUT she can not take up all your time. Her siblings will wind up hating her. My brother and I have come a long way but we still have some work to do. Good luck!

I'm a tattooed,bisexual,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

by Anonymous 33 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:38 PM

Send her to a boot camp or strict boarding school.  If nothing else let her get her ass beat by those kids.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:51 PM

I'm curious. What did you and your DH do when you found her doing this? I'm so horrified!

You know? I don't know how good of a step parent I would be. It depends on the circumstances. In this case where your DH cheated on you with this woman and then she's dropped in your lap top take care of? I would say that would be difficult emotionally at best, even if it's not your step daughters fault. If this were my OWN child? Sh*t, I would pull her RIGHT out of that school and sent her to a therapist and found a more appropriate place to straighten her out and get her on the right path.

Also, I really think if YOU are smart? You would contact a guidance counselor at her school to schedule a sit down. Because this girl sounds like a firecracker, and if she hates you? Good luck if CPS gets involved.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:56 PM
What about a military school. They know how to handle back talk like that. Hugs
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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:57 PM

well it's easy for a bunch of people who have never been in your situation to give advice.. it doesn't mean much though! 

but i think it might be time to tell her the truth about her bio mom. and see if you can have her put in  group anger management!! 

i was put on probation in high school and had to take a teen probation class twice a week, they also arranged volunteer programs to cover community service. I'd see if there is a way to put her in something like that without actually being on probation! w did things like clean up a non profit children's museum/play place, paint benches at a ranch that helped disable d children through horse back riding, stuff like that, all very strict and well supervised. like boot camp twice a week plus volunteering without the moving in!! there were kids there that were pretty messed up and became so involved in it that they kept coming back after they had met their court requirement! one guy was still going back to help 3 years later and i think he had plans of taking over when the teacher retired.... 

by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:57 PM
Boot camp in tne summer might straighten her out.
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