• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Sooo DH and I caught his daughter having sex in the pool... ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My 15 year old step daughter has been going through it. And by "it" I mean the rebellious teen who hates her dads new wife and wishes she could stay with her Mom(her mother is in jail for tax evasion). Now... I'm not perfect! Neither is DH! But my step daughter is possibly the worst child I have ever encountered in my entire life(DH and I have a five year old, ten year old, twelve year old and a fourteen year old and I don't want SD around them. We had the kids after we got married). She was suspended for smoking weed in school, she fights all of the time and she was just recently beat up for using racial slurs(DH and I are not racist and we've never used this form of language.. EVER! But she called these two girls a nigger and a wetback). DH and I were not upset about her getting her ass kicked because... well.... she deserved it. You do not talk to people like that!

So anyway, she's suspended for ten days because last week she decided to tell the teacher: "Fuck off you fucking faggot!" DH and I work full time and all of the kids are in school. When we leave, we drop SD off at a volunteer shelter so she can keep occupied while we're away. So, its been a long time since DH and I have had some alone time, so we took off work early and decided to enjoy each other. We get in the house, put on our bathing suits and head downstairs. Now, on our way down the stairs, we could hear some loud moans and we couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. We go outside and see our beloved daughter on her hands and knees with some grown man behind her(I say grown man because her had a fully grown beard, mustache and chest hair. We later found out that he was only 17). 

This was yesterday. Now I'm sitting her confused about what the hell to do. DH wants to send her away but IDK if that'll be a good idea. Help please?

DH and I were actually engaged when SD was born. Yes he cheated on me with his ex. Yes I took him. We got full custody of SD but her mom had visitation. She was arrested when SD was around 2 or 3? Not really sure.

ANYWAY! I was the one being a mother to that little girl! I was wiping her nose and staying up with her because she had the flu! I was the one buying her bras and teaching her about her body and what to expect once she matures. ME! DH allowed her to write her mother and she just flipped! She stopped going on her daddy daughter days with dh and started acting up. When she first did this, DH and I got her into counseling. I was the one PHYSICALLY dragging her little ass in that building three times a week and guarding the door just incase she made a run for it. I was the one taking her to get birth control and covering for her the first time I caught her having sex. DH was the one following her around school and sitting in every single one of her classes for two month straight. When she got called a whore, I was the one rallying for the kid who called her a whore to get suspended. When she got beat up by some kids girlfriend DH and I were the ones making sure that girl got her placed in jail so don't you dare say we don't love that girl and don't you dare say we've given up on her because we haven't! We are fucking exhausted! We have other kids to take care of but we can't because we're constantly having to clean up whatever mess SD has caused! We missed our  14 year olds birthday last year because SD ran away! I forgot to pick my five year old up on time last week because I was too freaking busy picking SD up from school early because she was afraid to get on the bus. DH has to leave work at three o'clock every week day because SD has caused so much trouble that she's afraid to ride the bus. Do I think this behavior has a lot to do with her writing her mother? Hell yes! Because she didn't start acting up UNTIL she stated writing her mother. She doesn't even know her mother is in JAIL! She thinks her mother is away somewhere because she is afraid of DH. So don't you fucking DARE say DH and I are horrible parents. And don't you fucking DARE say we've given up! We are TIRED! We have full time jobs and other kids to take care of that we've been NEGLECTING because SD has gone on a fucking rampage!

I'm the one refusing to send her away because I'm afraid she'll get beat to death by those other kids. You don't understand the severity of this situation. She uses racial slurs like it's okay to say it! She has NEVER used any of this language before but she has recently just picked it up and she's using them like that's how you are supposed to talk to people. If we send her to a group home, those girls will eat her alive! She's a spoiled suburban kid. She didn't grow up in a rough home situation or neighborhood! She used to go to private school until she was kicked out.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Replies (21-30):
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:13 AM
This girl sounds way beyond family time.

I'd get rid of her as soon as possible.

Quoting whoopsie16:

this. maybe she's feeling left out and alone. you should try some family time.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe she acts this way because you guys don't want her around.  You all need family counseling.

by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:13 AM

I would like to know what you did when she got caught? did they boy flee? did she get an attitude? More details please and I am sorry, she needs some help and tough tough love!

by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:14 AM

If you guys have the money I would send her to a school for trouble teens. I would also get her some counselling.




by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Military school lol
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Residential treatment centers..they provide counseling..try googling Quakerdale
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by TashaL on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:16 AM
I say therapy. I wouldn't send her away though. IMO that could make it worst.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by the sauce is boss on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Tine for some tough love!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Counseling maybe. So sorry that is a tough situation.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 10 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Girl needs therapy. She apparently has unresolved issues about her mom and dad and you and is acting out.
by Anonymous 11 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:17 AM
I think family counseling will be good for everyone. I agree that what she's been doing is unacceptable, but she might not feel like she belongs because you refer to her as "your husband's daughter" and you don't want her around "your kids"
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)