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Sooo DH and I caught his daughter having sex in the pool... ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My 15 year old step daughter has been going through it. And by "it" I mean the rebellious teen who hates her dads new wife and wishes she could stay with her Mom(her mother is in jail for tax evasion). Now... I'm not perfect! Neither is DH! But my step daughter is possibly the worst child I have ever encountered in my entire life(DH and I have a five year old, ten year old, twelve year old and a fourteen year old and I don't want SD around them. We had the kids after we got married). She was suspended for smoking weed in school, she fights all of the time and she was just recently beat up for using racial slurs(DH and I are not racist and we've never used this form of language.. EVER! But she called these two girls a nigger and a wetback). DH and I were not upset about her getting her ass kicked because... well.... she deserved it. You do not talk to people like that!

So anyway, she's suspended for ten days because last week she decided to tell the teacher: "Fuck off you fucking faggot!" DH and I work full time and all of the kids are in school. When we leave, we drop SD off at a volunteer shelter so she can keep occupied while we're away. So, its been a long time since DH and I have had some alone time, so we took off work early and decided to enjoy each other. We get in the house, put on our bathing suits and head downstairs. Now, on our way down the stairs, we could hear some loud moans and we couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. We go outside and see our beloved daughter on her hands and knees with some grown man behind her(I say grown man because her had a fully grown beard, mustache and chest hair. We later found out that he was only 17). 

This was yesterday. Now I'm sitting her confused about what the hell to do. DH wants to send her away but IDK if that'll be a good idea. Help please?

DH and I were actually engaged when SD was born. Yes he cheated on me with his ex. Yes I took him. We got full custody of SD but her mom had visitation. She was arrested when SD was around 2 or 3? Not really sure.

ANYWAY! I was the one being a mother to that little girl! I was wiping her nose and staying up with her because she had the flu! I was the one buying her bras and teaching her about her body and what to expect once she matures. ME! DH allowed her to write her mother and she just flipped! She stopped going on her daddy daughter days with dh and started acting up. When she first did this, DH and I got her into counseling. I was the one PHYSICALLY dragging her little ass in that building three times a week and guarding the door just incase she made a run for it. I was the one taking her to get birth control and covering for her the first time I caught her having sex. DH was the one following her around school and sitting in every single one of her classes for two month straight. When she got called a whore, I was the one rallying for the kid who called her a whore to get suspended. When she got beat up by some kids girlfriend DH and I were the ones making sure that girl got her placed in jail so don't you dare say we don't love that girl and don't you dare say we've given up on her because we haven't! We are fucking exhausted! We have other kids to take care of but we can't because we're constantly having to clean up whatever mess SD has caused! We missed our  14 year olds birthday last year because SD ran away! I forgot to pick my five year old up on time last week because I was too freaking busy picking SD up from school early because she was afraid to get on the bus. DH has to leave work at three o'clock every week day because SD has caused so much trouble that she's afraid to ride the bus. Do I think this behavior has a lot to do with her writing her mother? Hell yes! Because she didn't start acting up UNTIL she stated writing her mother. She doesn't even know her mother is in JAIL! She thinks her mother is away somewhere because she is afraid of DH. So don't you fucking DARE say DH and I are horrible parents. And don't you fucking DARE say we've given up! We are TIRED! We have full time jobs and other kids to take care of that we've been NEGLECTING because SD has gone on a fucking rampage!

I'm the one refusing to send her away because I'm afraid she'll get beat to death by those other kids. You don't understand the severity of this situation. She uses racial slurs like it's okay to say it! She has NEVER used any of this language before but she has recently just picked it up and she's using them like that's how you are supposed to talk to people. If we send her to a group home, those girls will eat her alive! She's a spoiled suburban kid. She didn't grow up in a rough home situation or neighborhood! She used to go to private school until she was kicked out.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Replies (31-40):
by BEXi on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:17 AM

Get the girl some damn birth control if she isnt already on it.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:17 AM

job corp? idk. id flip.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:18 AM

She is seeking attention for a reason. The sad part is she doesn't care what kind of attention. I agree with the others who say counciling is needed. I think she needs it and the 3 of you need it !! There is more going on than just teenage rebelling here. But if you don't act will have more than just her to deal with. She is seeking out guys for attention, next you will have a baby to help raise. She isn't emotionally or mentally ready for that.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:18 AM

My sister went through a phase like this, and my mom sent her to a place called Outward Bound. She came back an entirely different person.  I'd really suggest looking into a program like that.  Best of luck!

by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:18 AM
1 mom liked this

join my custodial stepmom group

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Wilderness quest !
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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Holy shit. That's a nightmare.
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by Anonymous 12 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:19 AM
I was that girl, maybe not so bad with the cussing at teachers and my parents never caught me having sex though I started at 14.

Anyways they did send me away, it was hell but when I got out a year later I was a new person almost 18 and I knew at that point my choices would affect me more seriously but I stayed pretty wild until I was about 23 and pregnant with my first, scince then I have not gotten drunk or anything I'm just a wife and a mother.
by Anonymous 13 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:19 AM

Wow Idk. I'd say therapy but my oldest is 5...not near those problems. Sorry...hope it gets better

by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:19 AM

 I thought I was the only one who noticed that and the fact she had the 14 yr old after they were married?

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm wondering where the rest of the story is.  She is 15 but you and DH have four children starting with a 14 year old.  Basically dad was too busy reproducing and mom was too busy evading taxes to be parents.


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