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Sooo DH and I caught his daughter having sex in the pool... ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My 15 year old step daughter has been going through it. And by "it" I mean the rebellious teen who hates her dads new wife and wishes she could stay with her Mom(her mother is in jail for tax evasion). Now... I'm not perfect! Neither is DH! But my step daughter is possibly the worst child I have ever encountered in my entire life(DH and I have a five year old, ten year old, twelve year old and a fourteen year old and I don't want SD around them. We had the kids after we got married). She was suspended for smoking weed in school, she fights all of the time and she was just recently beat up for using racial slurs(DH and I are not racist and we've never used this form of language.. EVER! But she called these two girls a nigger and a wetback). DH and I were not upset about her getting her ass kicked because... well.... she deserved it. You do not talk to people like that!

So anyway, she's suspended for ten days because last week she decided to tell the teacher: "Fuck off you fucking faggot!" DH and I work full time and all of the kids are in school. When we leave, we drop SD off at a volunteer shelter so she can keep occupied while we're away. So, its been a long time since DH and I have had some alone time, so we took off work early and decided to enjoy each other. We get in the house, put on our bathing suits and head downstairs. Now, on our way down the stairs, we could hear some loud moans and we couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. We go outside and see our beloved daughter on her hands and knees with some grown man behind her(I say grown man because her had a fully grown beard, mustache and chest hair. We later found out that he was only 17). 

This was yesterday. Now I'm sitting her confused about what the hell to do. DH wants to send her away but IDK if that'll be a good idea. Help please?

DH and I were actually engaged when SD was born. Yes he cheated on me with his ex. Yes I took him. We got full custody of SD but her mom had visitation. She was arrested when SD was around 2 or 3? Not really sure.

ANYWAY! I was the one being a mother to that little girl! I was wiping her nose and staying up with her because she had the flu! I was the one buying her bras and teaching her about her body and what to expect once she matures. ME! DH allowed her to write her mother and she just flipped! She stopped going on her daddy daughter days with dh and started acting up. When she first did this, DH and I got her into counseling. I was the one PHYSICALLY dragging her little ass in that building three times a week and guarding the door just incase she made a run for it. I was the one taking her to get birth control and covering for her the first time I caught her having sex. DH was the one following her around school and sitting in every single one of her classes for two month straight. When she got called a whore, I was the one rallying for the kid who called her a whore to get suspended. When she got beat up by some kids girlfriend DH and I were the ones making sure that girl got her placed in jail so don't you dare say we don't love that girl and don't you dare say we've given up on her because we haven't! We are fucking exhausted! We have other kids to take care of but we can't because we're constantly having to clean up whatever mess SD has caused! We missed our  14 year olds birthday last year because SD ran away! I forgot to pick my five year old up on time last week because I was too freaking busy picking SD up from school early because she was afraid to get on the bus. DH has to leave work at three o'clock every week day because SD has caused so much trouble that she's afraid to ride the bus. Do I think this behavior has a lot to do with her writing her mother? Hell yes! Because she didn't start acting up UNTIL she stated writing her mother. She doesn't even know her mother is in JAIL! She thinks her mother is away somewhere because she is afraid of DH. So don't you fucking DARE say DH and I are horrible parents. And don't you fucking DARE say we've given up! We are TIRED! We have full time jobs and other kids to take care of that we've been NEGLECTING because SD has gone on a fucking rampage!

I'm the one refusing to send her away because I'm afraid she'll get beat to death by those other kids. You don't understand the severity of this situation. She uses racial slurs like it's okay to say it! She has NEVER used any of this language before but she has recently just picked it up and she's using them like that's how you are supposed to talk to people. If we send her to a group home, those girls will eat her alive! She's a spoiled suburban kid. She didn't grow up in a rough home situation or neighborhood! She used to go to private school until she was kicked out.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Replies (41-50):
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:20 AM

Oh dear..I dont know what you could even do...she sounds like she is a very angry child.

by Anonymous 14 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:21 AM

She's unhappy and feeling unloved, thus the skanky scene by the pool. She's going to go wild, fucking anyone she can in hopes of finding a knight in shining armor to rescue and love her. Obviously we know that that won't happen, so something needs to give. Take her to the doctor, get her a check-up and some birth control. Get the entire family into therapy, she needs to go multiple times every week. There's a good chance that she needs to be medicated, getting her into an in-patient program at your local hospital wouldn't hurt.

by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:21 AM

Tough love, military school or some type of detention school, and family counselling. Catching her having sex would be the least of my worries, I am more worried about her fighting and being just plain disrespectful. I would also make an appointment to get her on some type of birth control, pronto.

by Anonymous 15 on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this
Lol I think its funny you spelled bright wrong.

Quoting Matriarch87:

Eek. Idk. Whatever method would get to the root of her self destructive behavior. Sounds to me like she is depressed. Even the most rebellious naughtiest kids at my school understood that grades mattered for college...they would be hellions but it stayed out of the she either isn't real brite or so depressed she doesn't care about anything that effects her. The same logic for fucking the strange guy. Good luck.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:21 AM

 Yep. Haven't you ever seen that tv show "Scared Straight"?

Quoting aCafemomma:

wow, detention center????? I have no idea. Sorry


by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:22 AM
Military school. Or an all girls school in the middle of nowhere.
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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:22 AM

wow I can not imagine walking in on my kid having sex yet alone walking in on it like that.

Sorry you are dealing with this?

by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:24 AM

 Get rid of her? she's not a piece of garbage!! and did you not read the whole thing?

OP said her and dh were married before having kids and their oldest kid is 14, and SD is 15? Maybe if mom wasn't evading taxes and dad wasn't remarried and having more kids when the SD was 1 years old, she wouldn't be acting out.

Quoting Anonymous:

This girl sounds way beyond family time.

I'd get rid of her as soon as possible.

Quoting whoopsie16:

this. maybe she's feeling left out and alone. you should try some family time.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe she acts this way because you guys don't want her around.  You all need family counseling.


by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Counseling could be first step and see how that goes for a few months
It wont change over night either
She will have her reg teen backlash

Shes probably been acting out because she feels left out
Normal if she has no mother there and shes among other children
Thats cries for attention shes doing and she will seek it until she falls in the wrong hands

Getting rid of her is going to do more damage to her self esteem
Shes already feeling neglected and unwanted and out of place
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:26 AM

Have you ever seen the show scared straight?  You might look into that program b/c she needs to be scared into doing the right thing before you have an extra person in your house as she may deliberately get pregnant just to piss you off.  Did you and DH get together BEFORE he was separated legally from her mom?  The reason is the ages of your oldest and her.  If she has it in her head that you caused the breakup and the rift in her "happy home" then you are a homewrecker in her world.  That's a therapy situation that specializes in family therapy.  For a teenager that's gone through mom going to jail, it can be normal behavior (unacceptable but normal) if you and her don't get along as you are the enemy.  FYI you agree to ship her off and it's going to cause a bigger rift.  You may just flat out tell her that she's stuck with you and no matter how she acts you are not giving up on her.  And you have to believe that you will never give up on her as kids have internal BS detectors

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