This is about gays and being in a committed relationship
- 620 Replies
If your teenage (between the ages of 14-17) daughter/son confessed to you that they were gay and that they were dating someone who they plan on marrying after that graduate high school or college, how would you feel about it?
Which would bother you more: that they are gay or all ready committed to someone at such a young age?
I wouldn't care if my son told me he was gay but what I would care about is him being in a committed relationship at such a young age. I don't believe that teens should be serious with anyone until they at least graduate high or college.
What if they get tied down at such an early age and then regret it years later?
Not alot of high school sweethearts stay married after a certain amount of time. They grow apart and realize that they aren't happy with each other anymore.
What if they are tied down to someone and there is someone better for them out there in the world?
I would never want my kids to marry before growing up. "playing house" unless they have education or a trade they won't make it. Life doesn't have to be a struggle, you shouldn't have to borrow money or go on welfare.
It's kinda scary to me to see mothers who say they're just fine with teens getting married!
Seriously be hypocrite! Wish better for your own children.
Well we found love and we make it.. Is a sad country song that doesn't need to be sung.
Get good grades, go to college, get a job or start a business then get married.
Don't teach them to be afraid of life.. Fear of living alone being alone.. You can never honestly love another without learning how to love yourself.
Quoting jak3739:I am all for young marriages. My Dh and I are high school sweethearts and were pressured by our families to wait to get married. We both regret waiting the extra 5 years. We are happily married for 11 years, have been together for 18.
I do have a problem with being in a gay relationship. I would always love and support my child but I could not say that I was a supporter of that type of relationship.
I believe that kids need an education, too. They need to be able to provide for themselves and we have never borrowed money or gone on welfare--neither would we have if we had gotten married sooner. We wanted to get married in college or just after graduation. I think that had we gone to a trade high school and had a career in a trade then going to college would have been irrelevant. I never said go on welfare and don't work or be poor for the rest of your life.
I don't support this whole stretching childhood into the twenties and waiting until close to 30 or later to get married just because it is supposed to be better and you are "more established." Our families pushed us and we finished college (which we had planned on doing either way), got jobs, went to grad school and ended up with lots of loans. Three weeks before our wedding both of us lost our jobs. We ended up getting married in no better shape than if we had done so at 21. During those years that we were "getting established" we were enticed to buy new cars and clothes and "live the life" and didn't save much of anything. Once we got married we went on a strict budget and paid off our loans but have never had tons of money. In the end, it wasn't worth waiting for money. We have had a lot of fertility struggles and we wonder what would have happened if we had gotten married sooner--because waiting did nothing for our bottom line.
We did grow up together--not married the whole time--but we would have prefered growing up in the same home with the same plan and values instead of chasing our parents' dreams for years while longing to start our own life.
Quoting Ihold8Stars:
Reality is most young marriages Fail.
I would never want my kids to marry before growing up. "playing house" unless they have education or a trade they won't make it. Life doesn't have to be a struggle, you shouldn't have to borrow money or go on welfare.
It's kinda scary to me to see mothers who say they're just fine with teens getting married!
Seriously be hypocrite! Wish better for your own children.
Well we found love and we make it.. Is a sad country song that doesn't need to be sung.
Get good grades, go to college, get a job or start a business then get married.
Don't teach them to be afraid of life.. Fear of living alone being alone.. You can never honestly love another without learning how to love yourself.
Quoting jak3739:
I am all for young marriages. My Dh and I are high school sweethearts and were pressured by our families to wait to get married. We both regret waiting the extra 5 years. We are happily married for 11 years, have been together for 18.
I do have a problem with being in a gay relationship. I would always love and support my child but I could not say that I was a supporter of that type of relationship.
I was a teen mom married at 19 divorced by 23 as is the normal for marriages under 25 yrs old more then 70% end in divorce.
You said you went in debt because of student loans after college and since you were both married both finishing school you both had double the debt ryt?
Why? No college fund was prepared for you by your parents? Why? Were they young parents to?
The only reason you went on a strict budget is because as you said you lived wild were tempted by lifes pleasure materials like cars... Bit then you grew up AFTER college and started a budget.
I'm remarried having waited to have more kids after 25 and after getting myself established has been the best thing I could give my children. They do not want for anything.. They have college funds.. They have a mother who most certainly knows muchore then her 21 yr old self did.
You don't sound like you lived much at all it's been you and him just as If you were married anyway.. Essentially all you did was not have kids young. And the resentment your aiming at your parents shows that child like mentality.
Quoting jak3739:I believe that kids need an education, too. They need to be able to provide for themselves and we have never borrowed money or gone on welfare--neither would we have if we had gotten married sooner. We wanted to get married in college or just after graduation. I think that had we gone to a trade high school and had a career in a trade then going to college would have been irrelevant. I never said go on welfare and don't work or be poor for the rest of your life.
I don't support this whole stretching childhood into the twenties and waiting until close to 30 or later to get married just because it is supposed to be better and you are "more established." Our families pushed us and we finished college (which we had planned on doing either way), got jobs, went to grad school and ended up with lots of loans. Three weeks before our wedding both of us lost our jobs. We ended up getting married in no better shape than if we had done so at 21. During those years that we were "getting established" we were enticed to buy new cars and clothes and "live the life" and didn't save much of anything. Once we got married we went on a strict budget and paid off our loans but have never had tons of money. In the end, it wasn't worth waiting for money. We have had a lot of fertility struggles and we wonder what would have happened if we had gotten married sooner--because waiting did nothing for our bottom line.
We did grow up together--not married the whole time--but we would have prefered growing up in the same home with the same plan and values instead of chasing our parents' dreams for years while longing to start our own life.
Quoting Ihold8Stars:
Reality is most young marriages Fail.
I would never want my kids to marry before growing up. "playing house" unless they have education or a trade they won't make it. Life doesn't have to be a struggle, you shouldn't have to borrow money or go on welfare.
It's kinda scary to me to see mothers who say they're just fine with teens getting married!
Seriously be hypocrite! Wish better for your own children.
Well we found love and we make it.. Is a sad country song that doesn't need to be sung.
Get good grades, go to college, get a job or start a business then get married.
Don't teach them to be afraid of life.. Fear of living alone being alone.. You can never honestly love another without learning how to love yourself.
Quoting jak3739:
I am all for young marriages. My Dh and I are high school sweethearts and were pressured by our families to wait to get married. We both regret waiting the extra 5 years. We are happily married for 11 years, have been together for 18.
I do have a problem with being in a gay relationship. I would always love and support my child but I could not say that I was a supporter of that type of relationship.
You know I don't know how I'd handle it. I'm sure I'd let our son or daughter make their own choice. Now I wasn't ready myself when I was that age but that doesn't mean our kids wouldn't be. The more you try to push them away the more they will want to do it. We can't live our lives for them. They have to do it. Kids do change their minds all the time.
She in fact has a great social life... She plays violin, soccer, baseball, is an honor student, either has friends come over to watch wrestling, or go to the mall on weekends.. Her and her GF aren't together all the time, She has lots of friends and they know about her preferences.. They or their parents don't seem to mind i dont see why you do.. I am proud of her!! Her "relationship" whether with male or female has no impact on her enjoying her childhood or teen years.. She has a good head on her shoulders and knows... as I have told her a hundred times, if she tries to grow up to fast she will regret not taking the time to enjoy life.. Life is to short to be angry all the time, or to dwell on things that are trivial, By the time your done expressing your disdain, anger, hate, ignorance, etc... Sometimes without realizing it you lose sight of what you should be doing enjoying your life, helping or supporting your kids in whatever choices they make in life... I am not a religous woman, don't believe in "organized religion" however, I do believe the we all follow a path in life and sometimes we come to a fork and have to make a decision.. Let us not forget you, yourself were a teenager once.. don't forget that... Sorry I ran on i just get so flustered! Both my daughters are members of the honor society, involved in sports, music and art.. have awesome social lives.. and it really ticks me off when someone says they cant have a normal childhood because they are BI or GAY and in a commited relationship.. ... That is simply not true..
I mean my daughter always says to me... "Mom, define normal... Because if it means I have to be more like them, then I am happy to be me!!!
It's not about YOU fing up. If you're a Christian, than you know that we are all going to "F" up on our own....because it's in our human nature.
Quoting needsupport100:
i'm not pro gay, i'm christian and raise my dd that way, if she came to me and said she were gay, that would be like "mom i'm pregnant" however, she would then be old enough to make her own choices, i wouldn't ban her from me for it, but i would ask myself where i fd up at.
imo, we all have to answer to our maker come judgement day, so i would simply tell her it's between her and God, i'll accept it but don't like it.
They're going to have to learn to save themselves. In this life we either sink or swim.
Quoting Anonymous:
I agree with that completely but how long do you let them drown before you go and save them?
I'm speaking metaphorically.
Quoting Lunarprancer:
You have to let your kids live and learn.
I'd be okay with them being gay and being in a committed relationship, but I would not be okay with them getting married right out of high school. I'd rather they wait until at least after college.
leaving baby alone while i do laundry?