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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

has your baby ever cried so much you wanted to shake it so it would stop?

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Poll

Question: if this saved even one life, would you share this video?

Options:

Yes

No

I just did


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 1014

View Results

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:08 PM
Replies (641-650):
Libertyinlight
by New Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:08 PM
2 moms liked this
I am a nurse and infant care giver and educator. Earplugs, Earplugs, Earplugs!!! U are not a bad person or parent if u need to wear earplugs from time to time. You are a smart parent! It doesn't matter how good of a person you are or how patient you are no one is above losing their cool. It just takes seconds to damage a child for life. Another way parents react is by throwing a child into their bassinet/ crib/ pack n play. I know a baby who I believe the parent did this very thing. Their story is that the parent accidentally dropped the baby. With my experience and knowledge I believe it was more than that. His skull was cracked open and multiple surgeries later he is still extremely collicky and is now starting to have seizures. Even up to two years old children can be dramatically harmed by shaking or throwing.

So important that every parent knows it can happen to anyone not just ignorant trailer trash. The people who think they would never do it or their partner wouldn't are more at risk. Please educate yourselves and partners. Men are more known to lose their temper and shake or throw. Both men and women don't know how strong they really are especially when overwhelmed and can create so much damage. Adrenalin is a powerful stress hormone and it pumps like crazy when a baby is screaming. After 3 days sleep deprivation with a collicky baby and nothing but stress hormones pumping everyone must be aware they can hit their limit. Also, we are in a time where so many parents feel the pressure that a baby should never cry. They must fix it ASAP. I don't believe in CIO however parents must know its ok and doesn't hurt their baby to set baby down in safe spot and take a break.
Emeraldmama7
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

You're so right about women wanting a baby of their own, even if its a screaming colic baby. I've never thought of it like that but it was beautifully said, thank you...

=) 

But the yoga thing you said? What do you mean shaking the babies around? I've never done baby yoga but i thought about it when DS was young because it seems fun and I know moms who do it..

It's not the American baby yoga you may be used to.  It's far from holding your baby while you exercise or using the baby as extra weight.  This is a woman who believes what she does helps babies become strong and also helps with intellegence.  I warn you, it's hard to watch.  The babies are being swung around, over her head, back and forth- sometimes by just a leg or arm- and they are screaming the whole time. Many of these babies are just weeks old.

Google Lena Fokina.  I'm unsure how to add a video here.  =/

 




 

Quoting Emeraldmama7:

After reading the replies, I don't think I will watch that video.  I cry when I see that lady who does baby yoga, flinging those poor babies around.  My mom teaches special needs and one of her students was a shaken baby syndrome survivor.  He died just last at 17 month from minor complications. =(


My second child had colic and there were times that I just cried with her or had to walk away and scream into a pillow.  I lost two jobs because my ex called me at work saying I needed to get home now because he couldn't handle her...and I'd hear my baby crying in the background.


After 7 kids I have gained even more patience and I just count my blessings that I'm even able to have my children because there are many women out there who would do anything to have a crying baby if it meant they had a baby to call their own. 



 

hope4rockell
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you!


Quoting Libertyinlight:

I am a nurse and infant care giver and educator. Earplugs, Earplugs, Earplugs!!! U are not a bad person or parent if u need to wear earplugs from time to time. You are a smart parent! It doesn't matter how good of a person you are or how patient you are no one is above losing their cool. It just takes seconds to damage a child for life. Another way parents react is by throwing a child into their bassinet/ crib/ pack n play. I know a baby who I believe the parent did this very thing. Their story is that the parent accidentally dropped the baby. With my experience and knowledge I believe it was more than that. His skull was cracked open and multiple surgeries later he is still extremely collicky and is now starting to have seizures. Even up to two years old children can be dramatically harmed by shaking or throwing.

So important that every parent knows it can happen to anyone not just ignorant trailer trash. The people who think they would never do it or their partner wouldn't are more at risk. Please educate yourselves and partners. Men are more known to lose their temper and shake or throw. Both men and women don't know how strong they really are especially when overwhelmed and can create so much damage. Adrenalin is a powerful stress hormone and it pumps like crazy when a baby is screaming. After 3 days sleep deprivation with a collicky baby and nothing but stress hormones pumping everyone must be aware they can hit their limit. Also, we are in a time where so many parents feel the pressure that a baby should never cry. They must fix it ASAP. I don't believe in CIO however parents must know its ok and doesn't hurt their baby to set baby down in safe spot and take a break.



lizzistardust
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:43 PM
No. But there were nights when I was a little tempted to throw his pacifier at him and say, GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!!!
Libertyinlight
by New Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you so very much for this thread. I am so sorry about what happened to your grand daughter, I know it's painful for you but you are saving lives. I send lots of love to you and your family. Keep getting the word out there:)


Quoting hope4rockell:





jynne
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 9:38 PM
I wish everyone (including doctors and nurses) knew you didn't have to be 'trailer trash' for this to happen to you. My son went to three different emergency rooms and a pediatrician over a 3 day period before he was finally diagnosed. Not fitting the 'profile' by being white, married, educated and both having full time jobs apparently made all the medical professionals we saw fail to recognize that this could still happen to us. I will never stop wondering if catching it three days sooner could have made any difference. When CPS got involved they didn't care that we had spend days taking him to doctor after doctor telling them that something was wrong with our baby only to be told be was fine. It wasn't until he was completely unresponsive that anyone listened. CPS eventually indicated us for child abuse yet never pursued the babysitter who's first question was 'Do I need a lawyer' and subsequently failed a polygraph. I try to focus on how blessed we are to have such a strong beautiful boy but the entire event has left emotional scars that have changed who I am forever.


Quoting hope4rockell:

Thank you!



Quoting Libertyinlight:

I am a nurse and infant care giver and educator. Earplugs, Earplugs, Earplugs!!! U are not a bad person or parent if u need to wear earplugs from time to time. You are a smart parent! It doesn't matter how good of a person you are or how patient you are no one is above losing their cool. It just takes seconds to damage a child for life. Another way parents react is by throwing a child into their bassinet/ crib/ pack n play. I know a baby who I believe the parent did this very thing. Their story is that the parent accidentally dropped the baby. With my experience and knowledge I believe it was more than that. His skull was cracked open and multiple surgeries later he is still extremely collicky and is now starting to have seizures. Even up to two years old children can be dramatically harmed by shaking or throwing.



So important that every parent knows it can happen to anyone not just ignorant trailer trash. The people who think they would never do it or their partner wouldn't are more at risk. Please educate yourselves and partners. Men are more known to lose their temper and shake or throw. Both men and women don't know how strong they really are especially when overwhelmed and can create so much damage. Adrenalin is a powerful stress hormone and it pumps like crazy when a baby is screaming. After 3 days sleep deprivation with a collicky baby and nothing but stress hormones pumping everyone must be aware they can hit their limit. Also, we are in a time where so many parents feel the pressure that a baby should never cry. They must fix it ASAP. I don't believe in CIO however parents must know its ok and doesn't hurt their baby to set baby down in safe spot and take a break.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
awalkoviak
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:01 PM
It is never a child's fault a parent gets frustrated. A child cries for a reason, they are tired , hungry, hurting, want to cuddle. Whatever the reason is of you get frustrated walk away and take a break. They won't get hurt from laying in their crib crying. If needed call a friend or family member to come relieve you for a bit to take a hot shower or something. Babies are too precious and fragile to hurt them :(
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
vamaria
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I think by "just did", they mean they just shared it. HTH!

hope4rockell
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:11 PM

soooo, you wouldn't consider your babysitter to be "trailer trash" (an expression) after having done that to your son?

I'm just asking.

Side note: 1 million % agree that hospitals need to do a better job of screening for SBS when I an infant is brought in. Somehow it must become MANDATORY for a Brain scan / MRI be done when doing a work up on an infant

We took our granddaughter to the hospital when because she was barely breathing (the first time our EX son-in-law shook her), we had no idea it had happened but the hospital said "we don't see anything externally wrong but there is a small mark on her face (was a birthmark) so, we have to do a child welfare checkup for potential abuse ........ is that OK"? We were like, "yeah, absolutely its OK"

HAD THEY done an MRI they would have caught the bleeding ......... but nope, they did everything except check her brain. Said, well, she seems fine so you can take her home. Then, 3 days later, it happened again. That's when the actual childrens hospital jumped into action (they kind of had to) because she had stopped breathing by then


 

 




Quoting jynne:

I wish everyone (including doctors and nurses) knew you didn't have to be 'trailer trash' for this to happen to you. My son went to three different emergency rooms and a pediatrician over a 3 day period before he was finally diagnosed. Not fitting the 'profile' by being white, married, educated and both having full time jobs apparently made all the medical professionals we saw fail to recognize that this could still happen to us. I will never stop wondering if catching it three days sooner could have made any difference. When CPS got involved they didn't care that we had spend days taking him to doctor after doctor telling them that something was wrong with our baby only to be told be was fine. It wasn't until he was completely unresponsive that anyone listened. CPS eventually indicated us for child abuse yet never pursued the babysitter who's first question was 'Do I need a lawyer' and subsequently failed a polygraph. I try to focus on how blessed we are to have such a strong beautiful boy but the entire event has left emotional scars that have changed who I am forever.


Quoting hope4rockell:

Thank you!



Quoting Libertyinlight:

I am a nurse and infant care giver and educator. Earplugs, Earplugs, Earplugs!!! U are not a bad person or parent if u need to wear earplugs from time to time. You are a smart parent! It doesn't matter how good of a person you are or how patient you are no one is above losing their cool. It just takes seconds to damage a child for life. Another way parents react is by throwing a child into their bassinet/ crib/ pack n play. I know a baby who I believe the parent did this very thing. Their story is that the parent accidentally dropped the baby. With my experience and knowledge I believe it was more than that. His skull was cracked open and multiple surgeries later he is still extremely collicky and is now starting to have seizures. Even up to two years old children can be dramatically harmed by shaking or throwing.



So important that every parent knows it can happen to anyone not just ignorant trailer trash. The people who think they would never do it or their partner wouldn't are more at risk. Please educate yourselves and partners. Men are more known to lose their temper and shake or throw. Both men and women don't know how strong they really are especially when overwhelmed and can create so much damage. Adrenalin is a powerful stress hormone and it pumps like crazy when a baby is screaming. After 3 days sleep deprivation with a collicky baby and nothing but stress hormones pumping everyone must be aware they can hit their limit. Also, we are in a time where so many parents feel the pressure that a baby should never cry. They must fix it ASAP. I don't believe in CIO however parents must know its ok and doesn't hurt their baby to set baby down in safe spot and take a break.







americamom
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:21 PM
2 moms liked this

I ran an in home daycare for several years on a military base. Many of my young moms and dads question me about how to help their babies through colic or other times of crying. I have more than one time told them the best way to help an extremely cranky baby is to put them in their crib and walk away for a few minutes.  Not forever, just enough time to get your own sanity back.  Babies can sense your tension. Make a list of people you could call for help if you are by yourself.  I told them they could call me or even come over at any time, and I meant it.  Most if not all parents have been there before and would help out. Sometimes it really does take a villiage to raise a child.  

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