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I wish I could be one of those people who...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
Can just let go of the past. On a daily basis, I'm not a bitter person and I have a decent relationship with my mom. In the past month or so, she blew the head gasket on her car and can't afford to fix it. She works 45 minutes from her house, so she's been using her sick days and vacation time. Now, on top of the car, she's behind on bills too. She's asking me for $3,000 pretty much everyday. We're a middle class family and while I do physically have the money, we don't touch it for reasons exactly like what she's going through. Tonight, she's been telling me about how this is the absolute worst time in her life. I feel bad, but then my bitterness rears it's head...

I'm trying to stop myself from saying things like "you know what the worst time in my life was? It was when my husband was killed in a car accident. You told me I probably shouldn't come to your house if I needed anything because you had to work early in the morning and it would be inconvenient to have a toddler running around." Or "I know how bad it sucks to be without a car. Remember when mine broke down and you told me you couldn't pick me up from work even though you drove right by my office because I was a grown up and should have planned better?" Or still yet "I hate that you're behind on your bills. I bet it would be nice to have the money grandma left me for college that you took out of my bank account when I was 17 so that you could put in a pool."

This is not stuff I dwell on normally, but when she is asking me to deplete my savings for her, I can't help but get annoyed. I'll be the bigger person and not snap on her, but I'm not going to pretend I'm big enough to give her that much money.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
svolkov
by Emerald Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:15 PM
You need to say it. Write it down. I came to t erms thatm dad is a worthless ass recently. I finally told him off. Feel a million times better lol
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OneToughMami
by Ruby Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:15 PM

Maybe you should just tell her that.

pamelam20
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:15 PM
You should send her this. (((hugs))) I'd tell her to eff off.
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faeriemom1972
by Ruby Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:17 PM

I'm the same way. I may forgive, but I never forget and that makes the forgiving pretty pointless.

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:17 PM
2 moms liked this

Tell her exactly what you told us....she deserves it

                             Betty Boop Lets go to the disco.    Betty Jean Newell Smith

LiliM
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:17 PM

Your mom is a toxic bitch. Youd dump her if she wasn't family.

Tell her, I can't loan you anything. Please stop asking. 

And cut contact. Blood is not an excuse to try and use people.

~~JeezuzTitz!  We ain't got time for krazee!!~~

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:17 PM

I know the feeling, I have family that has done and still do this to me, years ago when I was a single Mother not one of them was around to help, now that I'm settled, remarried and have something they have swarmed like bees to me.  I resent them sometimes for this! 

sarahbsquare
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:18 PM

you have a sad life life is so amazing when you just let it go and face the day and stop focusing on the past

justahousewife
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:19 PM
Tell her. If you really want to get past it then own your feelings. Say, get past it then put it behind you. She's an adult, she can take it. Or she can't take it and will drop the money subject. Either way it sounds like you need to tell her how you really feel.
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Trisha234
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM
Wow. How the tables have turned. Tell her you are sure she will figure something out. Or suggest she sell the pool she bought with your college fund. I don't blame you one bit for feeling that way.
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