Hi All, I am going to do my best to keep this short and to the point, I am contemplating going through with marrying my already feels like husband. I've been dating "Will" for almost 6 years now and 2 years ago we became engaged and last June had planned to get married however we put that on hold because I found out I was pregnant. I had a healthy baby girl in July of 2012. Before becoming pregnant Bill and were both smokers and I quit when I became pregnant. He promised he would quit when the baby was born, didn't happen! I also need to point out that I am 34 and he is 16 years older than I am. So quiting smoking was part of our deal when I found I was having a baby. He hadn't had any kids of his own except Breanna who is my daughter from a previous relationship. She has no contact with her biological father so when we met Will filled this position quite well.
Our family is quite complete, with a new wedding date set for August of this year, I've only found myself questioning why I'd want to marry him when we completely have different values and beliefs, for one the smoking thing, I can't stand it now...I don't want to be married to a smoker and he has made 3 different dates of which were going to be his last day, those promises broken. 2nd, he is not trying to lose weight or eat healthy to shed a few pounds before the wedding (he is at least 40 lbs overweight).Ive been running everyday and playing soccer and doing all I can to look my best and feel my best for not just the wedding but our futures too. He sneaks cookies and ice cream bars when I am not looking...and we don't buy the stuff, he does and hides it in the freezer in the garage. Anyway I totally feel like he doesn't give a donkey's .... about us or our family. I don't understand why someone in his position wouldn't think I'd be very eligible to find someone closer to my own age and holds the same beliefs about taking care of ourselves to be around for our kids. He is in his 50's and I don't want to be widowed much earlier than I would have to be. I hate to say that but its the truth...I don't think I can marry him still. Does anyone think I am acting way too selfishly or are things important enough to consider. Any advice....................I'd so appreciate. Thanks for taking the time!