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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My DH got another woman pregnant UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Since woman on here are talking about their experiences of being the OW I will share mine of the other side, the wife.

A few years ago, me and DH went through a rough patch and he slept with someone who got pregnant by him. He went out with his friends got piss ass drunk and slept with her. The next day he came home and told me about it and begged my forgiveness. We worked it out since I realized that it took a lot of character for him to come tell me when really, I would not have known other wise (this was before he knew she was pregnant, obviously since it was the next day). A month later she came and told him and told me that she was going to get him to leave me and our kids to be with her. I knew that wasn't going to happend. I stood by his side and told him that I would accept this child as my own.

The day the child was born, we went to file for custody of her. The woman works as a waitress and didn't make a lot of money, still doesn't. DH makes well over 100k a year. She did all she could to keep the baby away from me, including tried to say I couldn't come to the hosptial with DH until DH told her if I didn't, he wasn't going to pay her copayments for the hosptial and medical expenses (in court, they would have only ordered him to pay half but she couldn't afford to pay her half).

When the baby was 2 months old, we were in court and DH was awarded 50/50 time sharing. Actually it ends up being more because since I am a stay at home mom to our children and I was willing to watch this one too, the judge said she could either pay for daycare on her own, which she can't afford and doesn't have anyone to watch her for free or drop her off and me or DH would care for her (usually me). DH pays almost no child support ($430 a month for a man who makes close to $10,000 a month, put it to you this way, if he had standard visitation of every other weekend, he would be paying close to $1900 a month) because we have her so much and we are responsible for all medical expenses and she is on DH's insurance. I get more time with the child then the actual mom, she calls me mommy (no one taught her that, she started it on her own).

She is now 2 and as sweet as she can be and looks just like her dad. I am the one who takes her to the doctors, I am the one with her most days and I am the one who she usually cries for when she is upset. Sadly, I think her mom was mostly interested in her when she thought she would land her a good, relatively well off man.

Of course I never thought my life would turn out like this but you know what, I am really happy, I have my wonderful children, a husband I love and I have an extra child. The woman who thought she was going to break up my family has her child less then half the time and gets to watch me have the great life she wanted. Too bad

Moral of the story, don't fuck a married man, if he is really a good man and he has a good wife, chances are she will forgive him and you will be left out in the cold.


I am getting a lot of the same responses so I will address them here to save time:

No, I didn't take her child from her, the judge saw fit to give DH, her father 50/50 custody.

No, I do not hold any ill will against her, do I wish she wasn't around and SDD was my kid biologically, of course but that isn't the case and I don't blame her. She didn't owe me any loyalty so while I think it was trashy to sleep with a married man and tell his wife you are going to get him to leave her, I don't hold any ill will towards her anymore.

Yes, my DH cheated on me, that was horrible. But he came to me and told me right away, when he thought there was no way I would ever find out, he still came clean. That may not mean a lot to some but a lesser man would have never said anything.

Yes, a perfect DH would have never cheated but no one is perfect, we all need forgiveness sometimes.

I am not a door mat, I am a woman who was not willing to throw away a good marriage (not perfect of course but good) to a good man and father of my children over one mistake that he is sorry for.

Yes, I do treat the child the same as my own

No, I do not talk badly about her mom in front of her (actually rarely at all)

My DH has no contact with her unless we see her somewhere. Usually I do pick up and drop offs and communication is through me. That was at his request and I don't think she is really keen to talk to him either (she feels he screwed her over by not leaving me for her over one night).


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:31 AM
Replies (221-230):
lilymomof5
by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:23 AM

you are a very strong woman, kudos. 

LaughingTattoo
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:28 AM

 That would be a great reply if what I was looking for or needing was sympathy :). Sympathy does nothing for people living in the real world. I can assure you that my judge cares not for sympathy.


Quoting Anonymous:

Nope but I don't lie about my life to get sympathy


Quoting LaughingTattoo:

My heavens, you must have had a nice sheltered life


 


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't believe you either. Lawyers must have had something on you.



Quoting LaughingTattoo:


 Bullshit.



I know THAT for a fact. Mt Ex was able to get 50/50 with my children (which sadly works out to less than 50% of the time with me....which I am now fighting tooth and nail to get changed)....and the only reason was that he had the money, wait- his PARENTS had the money,  to hire those asshole "ADAM" lawyers.



So, yes they do



 



Quoting Anonymous:

I don't believe this. Judges don't award custody to the parent with the most money.


 



 



 


 



 

Lilypie Maternity tickers
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:32 AM

If he was a good man, he wouldn't be screwing other women on the side... piss ass drunk or not. But kudos to you two that you could work it out. Glad the baby has people to love her and be there for her. Situation could have ended much differently for the innocent child.    

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:34 AM
I'm the wife, I'm better at taking care of my kids. This other girl has three more than me yet she doesn't know how to be a mom. Her mother is raising her kids, I still would not want to take her kid. I thought I was strong for dealing with this but apparently I'm not, well like you anyways. Hes not allowed back in my home, he does come by everyday tho. Pays all the bills does what hr has to. But everytime i see his face i have to fight the urge to punch him. I don't resent the baby but I also can't love her. She's a reminder of the fuck up her dad did to me I just can't do it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:35 AM
The op posted this for exactly that, sympathy. And to make herself look good. She failed miserably.


Quoting LaughingTattoo:

 That would be a great reply if what I was looking for or needing was sympathy :). Sympathy does nothing for people living in the real world. I can assure you that my judge cares not for sympathy.




Quoting Anonymous:

Nope but I don't lie about my life to get sympathy



Quoting LaughingTattoo:


My heavens, you must have had a nice sheltered life



 



Quoting Anonymous:

I don't believe you either. Lawyers must have had something on you.




Quoting LaughingTattoo:



 Bullshit.




I know THAT for a fact. Mt Ex was able to get 50/50 with my children (which sadly works out to less than 50% of the time with me....which I am now fighting tooth and nail to get changed)....and the only reason was that he had the money, wait- his PARENTS had the money,  to hire those asshole "ADAM" lawyers.




So, yes they do




 




Quoting Anonymous:

I don't believe this. Judges don't award custody to the parent with the most money.



 




 




 



 





 


RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:36 AM

She doesn't even realize that karma is going to smack her right in the face when this child starts to understand more.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't even think she understands how pathetic she looks.  She can't keep a man, lets him cheat and come back, then thinks she can make her pain go away by pretending the child is her own.  It's completely sick and she is hurting the poor child.

Quoting RaynesMommy07:

Definitely not the only one thinking that. And somehow she is smug about all but taking this woman's child away. Sick.

Quoting Anonymous:

And she is some sappy doormat who gets walked all over due to grossly low self esteem.  I am glad I wasn't the only one thinking along this line.

Quoting Goofygadget:

Moral of the story..Her hubby can fuck who he wants, and when he wants. He's that cool.
Quoting Anonymous:

So exactly how "dear" is your dear husband?



Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:37 AM

 If he could not walk away then I would, pretty simple really!

Quoting Jennyanne322:

You know that most states a parent can't just sign away their rights like that? Most states require that a spouse be adopting the baby in order for the other parent to sign rights away.

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 I could forgive the cheating, but other children get on my nerves and I would not be nice to the child, so he would either have to sign away his rights or sign divorce papers.


Quoting Anonymous:


See I love children (me and DH are trying for another actually). Now if it had been an ongoing affair or something, I couldn't have forgiven that but a one time thing (even she admitted it was a one time thing and the date of conception lined up with the date he said he cheated with her) I was able to forgive, especially since he came right to me and admitted it when, as far as he knew, I would have never found out if he didn't.


 


 


Quoting Dzyre1115:


 What a twisted sick story.......anyway if my husband got another woman pregnant and he couldn't sign away the child, then I would have left, I don't like children enough to tolerate that kind of baggage.  Which is why I purposely chose a man with no kids when I married.


 


 


 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Wow yeah I would never tolerate that. I truly respect myself and even though I love my hubby their is no way I will let him treat me like that. I don't care if he had the balls to tell me as soon as he finished having sex. If he truly cared for you and loved you even if you were at the edge of divorce he would not put a hand on any other female in RESPECT of you. Honestly you are saying how bad of a mom the mom is and you are a horrible person first off this child is not your child and just because she didn't make as much money as you guys make she had the bad side. She is her mom not you you are the babysitter that's all. The moment she started calling you mommy if you were a good hearted person you had to tell her how hard her mommy was working for her and how you were caring for her while her mommy was out working. This mommy doesn't even have time to bond with her because of you now that whole deal of you demanding to be in the hospital who do you think you are. She is your husbands daughter not ours you had no right to be in the hospital. As to that's why you don't sleep with married man lol honey it takes two people to have sex and your husband was one of them. He was the one that was suppose to say no I'm married and even if she got naked in front of him if he had respect for you he would be the one saying no I'm married. You have all this anger on her when reality you should be angry at him and yourself for letting him treat you that way. But I'm sure like you say because he makes so much that you didn't want that to go away right. Let's just hope things don't turn on you because karma is a bitch
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:40 AM
So trying to take a child away from a mother JC she's just a waitress is ok? Trying to take away a child from a mother out of spite is ok? Letting the child call OP mommy is ok?

I don't think so and that is why people are pissy.


Quoting Jennyanne322:

What does your family and dh family say about this child? Does she know your parents as grandparents and everything just like your other children? Kiddos to you and dh for at least doing right by the child and giving her everything that she deserves. I don't get the bashing on this post considering that this arrangement is court ordered also.

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:40 AM

 I like my children, I love my children, I don't like your children or any other children for that matter.  I also despise baby mama drama so if he couldn't be rid of the problems he created then I would not be with him, it's that simple.  I purposely chose a man with no children and no ex-wives to avoid that issue and my position on that kind of situation has not changed and will never change.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow so much wrong with this statement,  if your husband was any kind of a man he would choose the child over you!  And the fact you would stay with your man after an affair if he dropped the kid there is some dysfunction there for sure.  And you don't like children aren't you a mother,  now do your children feel about not being liked by their mother?

 

 

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 What a twisted sick story.......anyway if my husband got another woman pregnant and he couldn't sign away the child, then I would have left, I don't like children enough to tolerate that kind of baggage.  Which is why I purposely chose a man with no kids when I married.

 

 

 

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