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My DH got another woman pregnant UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Since woman on here are talking about their experiences of being the OW I will share mine of the other side, the wife.

A few years ago, me and DH went through a rough patch and he slept with someone who got pregnant by him. He went out with his friends got piss ass drunk and slept with her. The next day he came home and told me about it and begged my forgiveness. We worked it out since I realized that it took a lot of character for him to come tell me when really, I would not have known other wise (this was before he knew she was pregnant, obviously since it was the next day). A month later she came and told him and told me that she was going to get him to leave me and our kids to be with her. I knew that wasn't going to happend. I stood by his side and told him that I would accept this child as my own.

The day the child was born, we went to file for custody of her. The woman works as a waitress and didn't make a lot of money, still doesn't. DH makes well over 100k a year. She did all she could to keep the baby away from me, including tried to say I couldn't come to the hosptial with DH until DH told her if I didn't, he wasn't going to pay her copayments for the hosptial and medical expenses (in court, they would have only ordered him to pay half but she couldn't afford to pay her half).

When the baby was 2 months old, we were in court and DH was awarded 50/50 time sharing. Actually it ends up being more because since I am a stay at home mom to our children and I was willing to watch this one too, the judge said she could either pay for daycare on her own, which she can't afford and doesn't have anyone to watch her for free or drop her off and me or DH would care for her (usually me). DH pays almost no child support ($430 a month for a man who makes close to $10,000 a month, put it to you this way, if he had standard visitation of every other weekend, he would be paying close to $1900 a month) because we have her so much and we are responsible for all medical expenses and she is on DH's insurance. I get more time with the child then the actual mom, she calls me mommy (no one taught her that, she started it on her own).

She is now 2 and as sweet as she can be and looks just like her dad. I am the one who takes her to the doctors, I am the one with her most days and I am the one who she usually cries for when she is upset. Sadly, I think her mom was mostly interested in her when she thought she would land her a good, relatively well off man.

Of course I never thought my life would turn out like this but you know what, I am really happy, I have my wonderful children, a husband I love and I have an extra child. The woman who thought she was going to break up my family has her child less then half the time and gets to watch me have the great life she wanted. Too bad

Moral of the story, don't fuck a married man, if he is really a good man and he has a good wife, chances are she will forgive him and you will be left out in the cold.


I am getting a lot of the same responses so I will address them here to save time:

No, I didn't take her child from her, the judge saw fit to give DH, her father 50/50 custody.

No, I do not hold any ill will against her, do I wish she wasn't around and SDD was my kid biologically, of course but that isn't the case and I don't blame her. She didn't owe me any loyalty so while I think it was trashy to sleep with a married man and tell his wife you are going to get him to leave her, I don't hold any ill will towards her anymore.

Yes, my DH cheated on me, that was horrible. But he came to me and told me right away, when he thought there was no way I would ever find out, he still came clean. That may not mean a lot to some but a lesser man would have never said anything.

Yes, a perfect DH would have never cheated but no one is perfect, we all need forgiveness sometimes.

I am not a door mat, I am a woman who was not willing to throw away a good marriage (not perfect of course but good) to a good man and father of my children over one mistake that he is sorry for.

Yes, I do treat the child the same as my own

No, I do not talk badly about her mom in front of her (actually rarely at all)

My DH has no contact with her unless we see her somewhere. Usually I do pick up and drop offs and communication is through me. That was at his request and I don't think she is really keen to talk to him either (she feels he screwed her over by not leaving me for her over one night).


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:31 AM
Replies (261-270):
ambcortez
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:11 AM

might be dumbass husband ;)

Quoting sashamom03:

What does DH stand for? If it's not darling husband is it, how about dimwit husband. lmao!!!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 43 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Do you CORRECT the child when she calls you mommy? No... then your still trying to replace her mommy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 27 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Im sorry but you dont have a good marriage if your husband cheated on you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 57 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:13 AM

eye rolling


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 What a twisted sick story.......anyway if my husband got another woman pregnant and he couldn't sign away the child, then I would have left, I don't like children enough to tolerate that kind of baggage.  Which is why I purposely chose a man with no kids when I married.



bear.katten
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:14 AM
The mother and father do not have equal time. YOU have way more time than the mother. And like I said in my other reply you did not respond to, your DH can more than afford to pay her more in cs than he is so she could actually spend her ordered time with HER CHILD.
Your DH was way more wrong than this other woman and she is being ripped to shreds while he gets off scott free with an extremely low cs order.
This whole thing disgusts me, you disgust me. You and your DH really are horrible people whether you think so or not and most people here are telling you just that!


Quoting Anonymous:

When the mother is not with the father, the father is entitled to have his child equal time, I mean, she is equal his child, right? I am married to the father so, yes she is often with me. Of course her mother is welcome to put her in daycare on her time but she can't afford it and the judge didn't think it was fair to order DH to pay the daycare while I can do it for free. I don't blame her at all, he did something wrong and I forgave him, I really hold no ill will against her but yes, she will have to suffer the natural consequences of procreating with a married man, namely, dealing with his wife around her child.




Quoting bear.katten:

Exactly! Its sick that people are telling her she did the right thing and the mother got what she deserved! The husband got nothing!





Quoting Anonymous:

Ummmmm....I dont like you or the story. The child should be with the mother. Lets take your children away from you and give them to another mother and see how you feel. I mean I read your story and I really dont like you. Your husband cheats on you and your family, and obviously enjoyed it enough to get off with the other women. Then you say its her fault....PLEASE......That baby should be with her mother not you. You are not her mother.







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Anonymous
by Anonymous 57 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:15 AM


eye rolling

Quoting bear.katten:

Exactly! Its sick that people are telling her she did the right thing and the mother got what she deserved! The husband got nothing!


Quoting Anonymous:

Ummmmm....I dont like you or the story. The child should be with the mother. Lets take your children away from you and give them to another mother and see how you feel. I mean I read your story and I really dont like you. Your husband cheats on you and your family, and obviously enjoyed it enough to get off with the other women. Then you say its her fault....PLEASE......That baby should be with her mother not you. You are not her mother.




PerfectVirgo
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:15 AM

I'd do the same. =) Sometimes a man is worth forgiving, and I have one of those as well. And kudos to you for not holding any grudges.

TerriAnne2606
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:18 AM

Good for you.  I think you're doing a great job and I'm so glad that things are working out this way for you - you really do have a good man and I think that forgiving him was a wonderful thing for you to do.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 58 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:19 AM

Sorry but you're no better than her and you're certainly no smarter.  You stayed with a cheater (that is all he is and it will happen again) who can't handle his booze supposedly, I can't believe you were dumb enough to fall for that.  Frankly it sounds like you stayed for his money.  You're both gold diggers.  No matter how much of a piece of trash the other woman is, you had no business being at the hospital when she delivered and you have even less business watching her child while she works.  The only reason you got any of that is because money talks and since your husband is apparently loaded, his complete lack of morals and character got overlooked by the judge.  You, your husband and the other woman should be ashamed of yourselves.  I feel sorry for all the children.  They are being raised by degenerates.

 

bear.katten
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Lol you pretty much rewrote what I posted! Except I forgot to point out that she probably only stayed with him after he cheated because she's loaded and she wants to keep being a SAHM and being able to buy whatever she wants!


Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry but you're no better than her and you're certainly no smarter.  You stayed with a cheater (that is all he is and it will happen again) who can't handle his booze supposedly, I can't believe you were dumb enough to fall for that.  Frankly it sounds like you stayed for his money.  You're both gold diggers.  No matter how much of a piece of trash the other woman is, you had no business being at the hospital when she delivered and you have even less business watching her child while she works.  The only reason you got any of that is because money talks and since your husband is apparently loaded, his complete lack of morals and character got overlooked by the judge.  You, your husband and the other woman should be ashamed of yourselves.  I feel sorry for all the children.  They are being raised by degenerates.


 


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