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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My DH got another woman pregnant UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Since woman on here are talking about their experiences of being the OW I will share mine of the other side, the wife.

A few years ago, me and DH went through a rough patch and he slept with someone who got pregnant by him. He went out with his friends got piss ass drunk and slept with her. The next day he came home and told me about it and begged my forgiveness. We worked it out since I realized that it took a lot of character for him to come tell me when really, I would not have known other wise (this was before he knew she was pregnant, obviously since it was the next day). A month later she came and told him and told me that she was going to get him to leave me and our kids to be with her. I knew that wasn't going to happend. I stood by his side and told him that I would accept this child as my own.

The day the child was born, we went to file for custody of her. The woman works as a waitress and didn't make a lot of money, still doesn't. DH makes well over 100k a year. She did all she could to keep the baby away from me, including tried to say I couldn't come to the hosptial with DH until DH told her if I didn't, he wasn't going to pay her copayments for the hosptial and medical expenses (in court, they would have only ordered him to pay half but she couldn't afford to pay her half).

When the baby was 2 months old, we were in court and DH was awarded 50/50 time sharing. Actually it ends up being more because since I am a stay at home mom to our children and I was willing to watch this one too, the judge said she could either pay for daycare on her own, which she can't afford and doesn't have anyone to watch her for free or drop her off and me or DH would care for her (usually me). DH pays almost no child support ($430 a month for a man who makes close to $10,000 a month, put it to you this way, if he had standard visitation of every other weekend, he would be paying close to $1900 a month) because we have her so much and we are responsible for all medical expenses and she is on DH's insurance. I get more time with the child then the actual mom, she calls me mommy (no one taught her that, she started it on her own).

She is now 2 and as sweet as she can be and looks just like her dad. I am the one who takes her to the doctors, I am the one with her most days and I am the one who she usually cries for when she is upset. Sadly, I think her mom was mostly interested in her when she thought she would land her a good, relatively well off man.

Of course I never thought my life would turn out like this but you know what, I am really happy, I have my wonderful children, a husband I love and I have an extra child. The woman who thought she was going to break up my family has her child less then half the time and gets to watch me have the great life she wanted. Too bad

Moral of the story, don't fuck a married man, if he is really a good man and he has a good wife, chances are she will forgive him and you will be left out in the cold.


I am getting a lot of the same responses so I will address them here to save time:

No, I didn't take her child from her, the judge saw fit to give DH, her father 50/50 custody.

No, I do not hold any ill will against her, do I wish she wasn't around and SDD was my kid biologically, of course but that isn't the case and I don't blame her. She didn't owe me any loyalty so while I think it was trashy to sleep with a married man and tell his wife you are going to get him to leave her, I don't hold any ill will towards her anymore.

Yes, my DH cheated on me, that was horrible. But he came to me and told me right away, when he thought there was no way I would ever find out, he still came clean. That may not mean a lot to some but a lesser man would have never said anything.

Yes, a perfect DH would have never cheated but no one is perfect, we all need forgiveness sometimes.

I am not a door mat, I am a woman who was not willing to throw away a good marriage (not perfect of course but good) to a good man and father of my children over one mistake that he is sorry for.

Yes, I do treat the child the same as my own

No, I do not talk badly about her mom in front of her (actually rarely at all)

My DH has no contact with her unless we see her somewhere. Usually I do pick up and drop offs and communication is through me. That was at his request and I don't think she is really keen to talk to him either (she feels he screwed her over by not leaving me for her over one night).


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:31 AM
Replies (41-50):
Nynnie
by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:57 AM
1 mom liked this
So, u believe in forgiveness. Only to the one that u needed to forgive, the one that betrayed u. She didn't really do anything to u. Did she even know he was married? She wasn't the one who promised to be faithful and love u. He is the one that really hurt u, and she is the one u take it out on. It is wrong to take a child from a biological actual mom because ur dh cheated on u.

Quoting Anonymous:

I can understand why you would feel that way, many women would. But I believe in forgiveness. If it was an on going thing, I don't know that I could ever trust him but it was one time and he came clean so I was able to forgive. Don't get me wrong, it was hard at first




Quoting Anonymous:

I could never do that.  I have more self respect than to raise a child my husband had with a woman he cheated on me with. I would have divorced. Glad it worked out for you though.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:58 AM

Usually, she calls her mom but sometimes by her name (I think that is just because the other kids call me mommy and everyone around her mom calls her by her name, she has no other children) and me mommy. But I always say "your mom" to her. Like "we are going to take you to your mom now"



Quoting MooBaaLaLaLa80:

What does she call BM?



sleepymommy87
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:58 AM
16 moms liked this
If I was bm I would have gutted you like a fucking fish for taking away my child. Regardless of her being a hone wrecking whore, it's HER child. You're a horrible horrible bitch and this story disgusts the shit out of me.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:03 AM
13 moms liked this

So you are proud of yourself because you have money and she doesn't? That's pitiful. She calls you mommy but no one taught her. Well you obviously didn't stop it.

he pays squat for cs because you all have her more than the mom does. Again pathetic.  You are a piss of work. I hope the child when she gets older sees just how pathetic and pitiful you both are. Your dh should have used protection doesn't matter if he has money or not or drunk he knew perfectly well what he was doing.

YOU REALLY MAKE ME SICK! WE HAVE MONEY AND SHE DOESN'T SO SHE GOT SCREWED BECAUSE SHE FUCKED MY HUSBAND AND WE HAVE MONEY.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:03 AM

I can't really call her whore who got knocked up by my DH. It also makes it more simple when I talk to other people, they just assume she is an ex. We don't hide it or anything but I don't feel the need to flaunt that DH cheated, I forgave him and I don't think he should have people judging him everywhere he goes for the rest of his life. Most people who didn't know us before assume we separated or something and then got back together and I am fine with that. Plus, it looks better on her mom too, like when DD starts school she will look like less of a home wrecking (or attempted home wrecking) whore.



Quoting Anonymous:

Why are you refering to her as ex?

Quoting Anonymous:

She does, she loves it with us and she is very well cared for. DH has actually thought about going for primary where his ex would only have her every other weekend, it's only a little more time with us then she is now anyway.


Quoting Iamstacey:

Well now, that was an I retesting turn of events. I'm glad tge baby has a family who loves her.






lendales_mommi
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:04 AM
5 moms liked this

A judge just doesnt' LET somone "TAKE" someone else kids obviously the BABY was better off with her and her DH or the judge wouldnt have even allowed the 50/50. It's not "HER" child it takes to to make a baby and atleast one parent to be the responsible one (usually)

Quoting sleepymommy87:

If I was bm I would have gutted you like a fucking fish for taking away my child. Regardless of her being a hone wrecking whore, it's HER child. You're a horrible horrible bitch and this story disgusts the shit out of me.



LucyHourglass
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:04 AM
1 mom liked this

If my fiance got someone pregnant, i'd leave him. period. NO cheaters. i dont give a shit how much he "regretted" it. 

abbie.alder
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:04 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm glad you're there for the child, but you are way to bitter towards her. She is just as bad as your dh. I kind of think you made up this part:

"A month later she came and told him and told me that she was going to get him to leave me and our kids to be with her."

It sounds like you're trying to justify stealing her child, because she's "just a waitress and doesn't make much money." If she is a good mom, she very well deserves to have HIM pay more (he has the money as you say) so she can be the mom to HER child. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:05 AM

Would you rather the child be in daycare half the time she is due to be with her mom? That is the consequences of her actions, she chose to have a baby with a married man, now she has to deal with his wife and the fact that his wife is better equipped to take care of her child.



Quoting Anonymous:

So the mother is penelized because she's not as rich as you all..Your husband was the MARRIED one not her..But your bitter at her. Sad. You sound like a damn snob!



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:05 AM

The judge made the order, not me



Quoting Anonymous:

I can't get past the fact that it sounds like your continually punishing this women for having sex with your DH. He's as much as fault as she is. Taking her child is cruel pay back. 

Quoting Anonymous:

She does, she loves it with us and she is very well cared for. DH has actually thought about going for primary where his ex would only have her every other weekend, it's only a little more time with us then she is now anyway.


Quoting Iamstacey:

Well now, that was an I retesting turn of events. I'm glad tge baby has a family who loves her.






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