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dating, how young is too young?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I took my son to a roller skating party last night. Once a month his school has great skate night. Anyway, as we were getting our skates on I overheard a group of 4th and 5th grade girls talking. One girl asked the other if she was going out with so and so. She said yes. One girl commented how she didn't think he was very cute. Just then the guy of topic came up behind the girl who said she was dating him and put his arm around her. The girls all giggled and the two skated of holding hands. One girl got out her cell phone and was texting a friend. My son is friends with one of the girls little sister so I know they were 4th and 5th graders. Well as the night went on I noticed almost every kids 8 years old and up had cell phones and lots of girls 9 and up were talking about boys. Call me old fashioned but an 8 year old with a cell phone is like wth. 10 year old girls dating just blows me away. What cracks me up though is the same girls who said they had boyfriends and cellphones acting all grown up were all sucking on oversized light up binkies. My oldest is 7 years old and Dh and I have already agreed that he will not get a cell phone until he reaches high school and won't be dating until then either. Is 3rd, 4th and 5th to young to date? Would you allow your child of that age to date?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Replies (141-146):
Lindsay4Ambit
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:53 AM

It's not 'dating' as much as 'holding hands in the hallway' at that age. But I agree, it's ridiculous. As is the cell phone thing. I was a Jr in High School before I got one, and had a job and paid for it myself. That's how it'll be for DS as well. 

jjchick75
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:05 AM

In this house you don't get a cell phone until you are atleast 13. The phone is turned off at 9pm on week days and 10pm on weekends and not turned back on until 8am. If your school work suffers, I'll take the phone. If you use the phone when I am trying to talk to you I'll take the phone away. We have a family meal at 6pm and I see your phone at the table, I'll take it. My kids are homeschooled now but when my daughter was in school I told her that if she got the phone taken at school, I would get it back but it would become mine until she could understand when is appropriate and when it isn't appropriate to use your phone. 

As far as dating group dates are allowed at 14 and individaul dates are allowed at 16. But to be honest I had "boyfriends" at that age. It was nothing serious and it's not something I would make a big deal out of. 

SissyAnn141
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:45 AM

 

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Yes My sons dated in 5th grade. Why ? because they asked. Why did I let them because I saw other kids sneaking around doing it. We sat our boys down and told them the rules of dating.

1) call her parents and ask if you can date her (thought for sure that would end it right there)

2) make a plan of what day, where you want to go and then call her and ask her out.

3) I or dh & I chaperoned these dates.

4) we pick up the girl. Sons go to door.Go in meet parents, reiterrate the plans. ASK what time date needs to be home.

5) Treat her like a lady just like dad has shown and taught you.

6) buy her movie ticket, drink, snack & sit 1 row in front of mom

7) after date walk her to the door, thank her parents for allowing you to date her.

We did this until HS. It worked for us. Parents of the girls loved how my sons treated and respected them and their DDs.

 EXACTLY, GOOD FOR YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

 I agree with everything, you are "GREAT PARENTS !!"clapping

TurboMom81
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Can't wait to get the girls to bed and curl up on the couch with my man and watch The Hobbit:The Desolation of Smaug! I love to geek out with him! ;-)
Yesterday at 8:37 PM
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:55 AM
After High School.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:54 AM
Thank you. My Boys are now in their 20s. My dil thanks us often for raisin.g a respectful morally strong man.

Quoting SissyAnn141:

 


Quoting lucky2Beeme:


Yes My sons dated in 5th grade. Why ? because they asked. Why did I let them because I saw other kids sneaking around doing it. We sat our boys down and told them the rules of dating.


1) call her parents and ask if you can date her (thought for sure that would end it right there)


2) make a plan of what day, where you want to go and then call her and ask her out.


3) I or dh & I chaperoned these dates.


4) we pick up the girl. Sons go to door.Go in meet parents, reiterrate the plans. ASK what time date needs to be home.


5) Treat her like a lady just like dad has shown and taught you.


6) buy her movie ticket, drink, snack & sit 1 row in front of mom


7) after date walk her to the door, thank her parents for allowing you to date her.


We did this until HS. It worked for us. Parents of the girls loved how my sons treated and respected them and their DDs.


 EXACTLY, GOOD FOR YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


 I agree with everything, you are "GREAT PARENTS !!"clapping

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:04 AM
One thing I didn't realize before working with kids is that when kids are going out (at least in my area) "going out" means holding hands and sitting next to each other at lunch, and that is it. Oh, sometimes they text.

So, it is much different (again, where I live, 90% of the time) than when high schoolers "go out", the middle schoolers seems to get themselves into a touch of trouble sexually, but the only ones dating in my group are the ones who are....they are "those" kids. More mature, more boy crazy, the too cool guy. The ones I worry about because I know there are issues at home.

So, it isn't ideal for kids to go out in 4th/5th grade, but they are starting to get curious, and everything seems to be pretty innocent. I had a "boyfriend" in 6th grade, which meant sometimes we went to movies together with his parents and little brother, and we went to school dances together, and sometimes, when things got crazy, our friends used to make us hold hands. Wild, I know.

Cell phones are a different issue and I think most 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th graders are not mature enough to handle what comes with texting. I have seen serious issues arise from 3rd graders texting because they just can't emotionally regulate themselves to not always be connected. So the death threats, bullying, etc. are a huge issue IMO, and even in 7th grade, most kids just don't have the ability to disconnect. So, nope.
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