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dating, how young is too young?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I took my son to a roller skating party last night. Once a month his school has great skate night. Anyway, as we were getting our skates on I overheard a group of 4th and 5th grade girls talking. One girl asked the other if she was going out with so and so. She said yes. One girl commented how she didn't think he was very cute. Just then the guy of topic came up behind the girl who said she was dating him and put his arm around her. The girls all giggled and the two skated of holding hands. One girl got out her cell phone and was texting a friend. My son is friends with one of the girls little sister so I know they were 4th and 5th graders. Well as the night went on I noticed almost every kids 8 years old and up had cell phones and lots of girls 9 and up were talking about boys. Call me old fashioned but an 8 year old with a cell phone is like wth. 10 year old girls dating just blows me away. What cracks me up though is the same girls who said they had boyfriends and cellphones acting all grown up were all sucking on oversized light up binkies. My oldest is 7 years old and Dh and I have already agreed that he will not get a cell phone until he reaches high school and won't be dating until then either. Is 3rd, 4th and 5th to young to date? Would you allow your child of that age to date?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Replies (21-30):
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:13 AM

No dating if you can't drive your date somewhere and pay for yourself. At that age they're starting to decide who is cute and have crushes and stuff. That's all fine and good, but they don't need to pair off that young!

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:16 AM

I lucked out my son was shy and when he did date, it was almost exclusively in a group of people.

it was odd at times keeping track of who was dating who this week, but it worked for him.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:17 AM
When my daughters are in college, they can start dating.
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by Platinum Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:18 AM

Quoting Litlmama87:

In my house, You're old old enough to date when you can buy your own underwear & tampons, without allowance.

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by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:19 AM
I think when your old enough to drive and get a part time job earning your own money you are old enough to date. Kids grow up soo fast these days though sadly. At that age dating was sitting with them at lunch time and playing together on the playground. In middle school it was passing notes in the hall and seeing each other on Friday nights at the local skating rink.
by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Theyre not really dating imo. Its just kids learning how relationships should work before actually having a serious boyfriend. Theyre just having fun.

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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:24 AM
I have a very open relationship with my son. We have talked to him about girls, dating, sex ect. We haven't gone into detail about things but gave an age apporiate talk. My son is certainly not a follower and respects are decision as parents. My hope is that he will continue to listen to our advice as he gets older. I will continue to keep the lines of communication open and make sure he has a rich life that doesn't leave him feeling alone or unloved so he doesn't seek it elsewhere.

Quoting idunno1234:

 My oldest is 7 years old and Dh and I have already agreed that he will not get a cell phone until he reaches high school and won't be dating until then either. "

I have a 21, 18 and 11 year old girls and a fourteen year old boy. Good luck with that one, lol.

Do I think cell phones are too young for 8 year olds? Yes.....but, practically speaking, each of my kids were younger than the older one when they got their first cell phone. My youngest was the youngest at 10, but much of that was due to safety issues regarding her dad and needing to know she can contact me at any time. I think of cell phones as being a way to know what's going on. If they forget it or their battery dies, I start panicking and try to remind myself that it wasn't too long ago that parents didn't have that tool. Once you have it, its hard to go back. I will still have my 21 year old text me occasionally to make sure she is safe- she travels a lot late at night from Manhattan and its nice to know that no matter where she is, I can make that connection and put myself mind at ease.

Dating is a whole other issue but you need to remember that kids play act at adulthood, this is a normal thing, and they may use the terminology of dating but it is rare that there are even dates involved. My daughters didn't even think of dating in 3rd grade- they were still at boys are icky stage then, but by 5th grade, things start changing because they ARE preadolescent at that age and boys start getting looked at differently. By 6th grade, most boys are looking at girls differently too. Not sexual (although some boys were obviously modeled some pretty shitty behavior growing up) just as less than icky. Sometimes a lot less.

But its still puppy love at this age. My 6th grader (11 going on 12) has what she considers her first "real" boyfriend, although last year she was supposedly "going out" with or "dating" a number of boys. She hasn't gone out on one date, ever- its all just playing at what will soon be all too real.  I once took my 11 or 12 year old second daughter (now 18) to the local pizzaria when a boy wanted to take her on an actual date. I sat at the next table, lol. It was also adorable and I treasure those moments because all too soon, it does turn into a grown up thing.

I do believe that kids are growing up too fast- they are simply exposed to things that we weren't growing up (well, at least me since I'm 52). Like always, modeling appropriate behavior, showing how to respect things and use them appropriately (if they do have a cell phone) and most importantly, making it clear that respecting oneself and showing respect to others is the foundation for any healthy relationship, something even young children need to learn.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:30 AM

it irritates me so much when i see young kids acting like that. i think it's ok if they just have a crush and say they're boyrfriend and girlfriend, but i wouldnt let my kid out alone on a date at that age. i wouldn't let them out alone for any reason at that age. i think if they want to sa they're going on a date with someone that early, it should be supervised.  high school is a good time to actually start seriously dating. any time before that, i wouldnt take too seriously and just keep an eye out.

by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:32 AM

i think elementary school kids are way too young to date.  my son is 15 and will date when he has a car & money of his own.  he doesn't have a cell phone yet either.  if he needs to get in touch with me, he can text from his ipod.  he'll get a phone when he starts driving.

by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:33 AM

anything under 16 is too young. and they wonder why there is so much teen pregnancy

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