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What do you consider to be a healthy sex life?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
How many times a week or month would you consider to be a healthy sex life with you SO?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Replies (201-210):
RMC007
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:41 PM

There is no magic number as long as both partners are satisfied with their sexual relationship.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 41 on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:51 PM

Yeah, but by allowing him to continue doing it you're enabling it and it has/will affect your children in a very bad way. It sounds like to me you need to take control of the situation. If he won't go see a therapist, then maybe you should to find your strength and figure out what is best for you and your kids. At this point his needs are not important. Once you get a plan in place for you and your kids and he decides to get help, then his needs will become important. If I were you, I'd leave. Even if I never had been abused before. I'd leave, take the kids out of a situation were an addict is affecting them and let him figure out a recovery path. I'd still support him but he needs to recover without anyone enabling him. You need to get out. You deserve better than that. Life is too short to waste any of your time on someone who won't respect you and love you the way you deserve! The only way to do that is if you shock him a bit by leaving. Even if you leave and stay with a friend for awhile. Cut him off sexually. It's going to be hard and it will hurt you a lot but in the end it's the best thing for everyone.

Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest ones to make in the moment but have more benefits in the long run.


Quoting Anonymous:

I won't lie, it's hard as hell to do. I was abused when I was little and I have major self-esteem issues and his porn addiction definitely doesn't help them any. I have seriously considered leaving him over it, but he's a great father and, except for the sex, our marriage is wonderful. I love him and he loves me and we're best friends. I think if he weren't in the Navy and a divorce wouldn't mean moving back home and taking the kids 3,000 miles away from him that we would divorce. As it stands now, we're married, but it's really like living with a best friend I guess. And, I certainly don't feel strong at all...I feel like I'm letting him get away with something. Even though I understand how difficult an addiction can be, I feel like he's weak and just needs to exercise some self-control. I've lost a lot of respect for him since he seems to be unable to put my feelings ahead of his desire to watch porn.

Quoting Anonymous:

I could never be with someone who watches porn at all. But to be a porn addict would definitely not work. I dated a guy 5 years ago who was (maybe still is) a porn addict. It was awful. I was sexually abused as a child where porn was involved so porn is never allowed in my home or in my relationship in any way, ever. You're definitely more tolerant and a lot stronger than I am.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think he has a porn addiction. He says he doesn't know why he watches it, that it really doesn't do anything for him and that he never intends to watch it. But, every time he goes to the bathroom he takes his phone with him...and he's usually in there for 15-20 minutes and if I check our phone records, he's using 10-15 MB of data each time. I know he's watching porn more than just in the morning, but he refuses to get counseling. The only thing he's offered is an angry demand that I just take his phone and throw it away since he can't trust himself with it. I told him that I'm not his mother and he needs to take some responsibility for his actions. I really have no clue how to help him and I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough because I don't look like the 'barely legal' lesbians or the overly-endowed young-looking chicks in his fucking hentai. I get that guys crave variety, but so do women....and I know he'd get pissed if I was looking at porn or fantasizing about other men.

Quoting Anonymous:

He sounds like he has a sex addiction. You may want to look into getthing him some help.


Quoting Anonymous:

You're not alone. I'm in the same situation. MIne gets up at 4 to watch porn before work every morning and tells me there's nothing wrong with our sex life. I only get laid 2-3 times a month...and only if he notices I'm getting depressed. I even offer to give him a 'nothing needed in return bj' and get shot down. Guess he must really love the way his freaking hand feels.

Quoting Anonymous:

DuH and I have been debating this. I say once a week isn't healthy when were in our 30's and he looks at porn to satisfy himself otherwise. Especially when I ready, willing and able.










Anonymous
by Anonymous 51 on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:57 PM

for us, whenever we get a chance and time enough alone

Anonymous
by Anonymous 52 on Mar. 7, 2013 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

IDK-I think it depends on the couple...but for myself and my DH....the more often the better....I just can't get enough of the man!!   For us it is pretty much a nightly thing....except when "Aunt Flo" comes to visit!!

thecoffeefairy
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 6:05 PM
For me it's at least 3x a week or more
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Robinsons85
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 6:45 PM

I think it's up to the couple. Before pregnancy and during this pregnancy we did the deed daily sometimes multipul haha I am sure after the babies are here (hopefully very soon) I am sure itt will slow down but I hope to keep it to at least every few days 

CryMAd
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 7:01 PM

Every chance I get!!!  I can't keep my hands off my man when no-one else is around, though I don't get to see him every day... :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 53 on Mar. 7, 2013 at 7:04 PM

 At least twice a day and we've been married 22 years

jlg12678
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 7:06 PM

Daily.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 54 on Mar. 7, 2013 at 7:09 PM

I cought my ex-husband watching 'guy on guy' porn one morning...  We were only married for less than 3 years, have a DD together, and I was only 25 at the time.  We has sex MAYBE 1 time a month.  I hated it, he ALWAYS hurt me, I've never had an orgasm, and I would bleed after each time.  I thought something was wrong with me!!

Turns out I LOVE sex!!!  My BF and I have sex almost every night, sometimes twice in a night.  Still no orgasm, but no pain either,

So maybe your guy likes 'guy on guy' porn and that's just what turns him on???  IDK, but good luck!!



Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, but by allowing him to continue doing it you're enabling it and it has/will affect your children in a very bad way. It sounds like to me you need to take control of the situation. If he won't go see a therapist, then maybe you should to find your strength and figure out what is best for you and your kids. At this point his needs are not important. Once you get a plan in place for you and your kids and he decides to get help, then his needs will become important. If I were you, I'd leave. Even if I never had been abused before. I'd leave, take the kids out of a situation were an addict is affecting them and let him figure out a recovery path. I'd still support him but he needs to recover without anyone enabling him. You need to get out. You deserve better than that. Life is too short to waste any of your time on someone who won't respect you and love you the way you deserve! The only way to do that is if you shock him a bit by leaving. Even if you leave and stay with a friend for awhile. Cut him off sexually. It's going to be hard and it will hurt you a lot but in the end it's the best thing for everyone.

Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest ones to make in the moment but have more benefits in the long run.


Quoting Anonymous:

I won't lie, it's hard as hell to do. I was abused when I was little and I have major self-esteem issues and his porn addiction definitely doesn't help them any. I have seriously considered leaving him over it, but he's a great father and, except for the sex, our marriage is wonderful. I love him and he loves me and we're best friends. I think if he weren't in the Navy and a divorce wouldn't mean moving back home and taking the kids 3,000 miles away from him that we would divorce. As it stands now, we're married, but it's really like living with a best friend I guess. And, I certainly don't feel strong at all...I feel like I'm letting him get away with something. Even though I understand how difficult an addiction can be, I feel like he's weak and just needs to exercise some self-control. I've lost a lot of respect for him since he seems to be unable to put my feelings ahead of his desire to watch porn.

Quoting Anonymous:

I could never be with someone who watches porn at all. But to be a porn addict would definitely not work. I dated a guy 5 years ago who was (maybe still is) a porn addict. It was awful. I was sexually abused as a child where porn was involved so porn is never allowed in my home or in my relationship in any way, ever. You're definitely more tolerant and a lot stronger than I am.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think he has a porn addiction. He says he doesn't know why he watches it, that it really doesn't do anything for him and that he never intends to watch it. But, every time he goes to the bathroom he takes his phone with him...and he's usually in there for 15-20 minutes and if I check our phone records, he's using 10-15 MB of data each time. I know he's watching porn more than just in the morning, but he refuses to get counseling. The only thing he's offered is an angry demand that I just take his phone and throw it away since he can't trust himself with it. I told him that I'm not his mother and he needs to take some responsibility for his actions. I really have no clue how to help him and I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough because I don't look like the 'barely legal' lesbians or the overly-endowed young-looking chicks in his fucking hentai. I get that guys crave variety, but so do women....and I know he'd get pissed if I was looking at porn or fantasizing about other men.

Quoting Anonymous:

He sounds like he has a sex addiction. You may want to look into getthing him some help.


Quoting Anonymous:

You're not alone. I'm in the same situation. MIne gets up at 4 to watch porn before work every morning and tells me there's nothing wrong with our sex life. I only get laid 2-3 times a month...and only if he notices I'm getting depressed. I even offer to give him a 'nothing needed in return bj' and get shot down. Guess he must really love the way his freaking hand feels.

Quoting Anonymous:

DuH and I have been debating this. I say once a week isn't healthy when were in our 30's and he looks at porn to satisfy himself otherwise. Especially when I ready, willing and able.












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