I have an 18 month old child and recently had another. The newest wasn't planned but we talked it over and decided that having them this close together is a blessing and would be tough at first, but was what we wanted and what would be the best choice for our ideal family. Fast forward to now: I'm not feeling it. Maybe it's the hormones or the fact I suffered from pretty bad PPD with my last. It 'went away' when I got pregnant again, maybe due to hormones. Who knows.
Overall, I feel very optimistic about the future. Our kids will be close, go to school around the same time and it's the way we pictured ourselves being. In this moment, the last few days, I feel like I'm not so sure. I'm a very selfish person and really enjoy my own hobbies and I like to put a lot of time and effort into our marriage. I know. I chose to have kids. I love them very much. I just can't shake the feeling that maybe I made the wrong choice. I keep this thought on repeat like a broken record in my mind: "This too shall pass, enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast."
I guess I'm just speaking out of loneliness: DH and I haven't been able to sleep together for a long time; we've been taking shifts with the baby. I feel pretty detached from reality right now - like I'm stuck in a time warp.
Does any of this make sense?