Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

how to explain foster care to a 7 year old?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
I have a 7 year old son... And sister. They grew up together played together, slept together, etc. 2 years ago, mom picked up and left. Haven't seen them since, or even talked to them. A year ago, my sister was taken by cps... My son would write her letters. Today, he wrote one and wants to send it out.



Thing is, even we aren't allowed to contact her now. I'm not sure if this is new or if its always been like this. There's a huge possibility that we may never see her again. Again- no contact allowed plus she's in another country!



How do I explain that to my son? Do I not say anything?





His letter says, dear c... This is K. You might not remember me but I am your nephew K. I miss you. Do you miss me too? Then he drew a picture of them two holding hands.


Why she's in another country: my mom decided that she didn't like being here/with us again and left. She's been doing that for over 10 years now. She leaves my brother behind, but took her youngest.. IMO, its her attempt at starting a new family.

Why no contact: not sure. We've been sending her things this past year but I'm not sure if she's been getting them now. :-( my mom was denied visitations in Feb, they are accusing her of something she didn't do (she has an alibi- was with the lawyer)... I'm not sure if since she was denied, everyone would be.


I think that kinda covers everything. My mom isn't a citizen of that country, but my sister has duel citizenship- USA and Australia, where all this is occurring
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Bump
cjsix
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:03 AM

 Why are you not allowed to contact her? Can you talk to a lawyer and have them try and step in? Could a lawyer help you get custody? Have the mom's right been terminated and she is possibly been or being adopted? You are family and should be considered for placement of your little sister before anyone else.

VintageWife
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:05 AM

Another country?!?

LucyHarper
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:07 AM

Just explain that sometimes parents aren't able to take care of their children, so the children go to live with other parents, called foster parents, for a little while who will take good care of them. How did she get taken to another country and why can't you contact her? Could you possibly foster her?

momwith2monkeys
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:08 AM

 this is sad. Sorry but i don't have any advice. Couldn't you get custody of your little sister.

yo_ho
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:10 AM

Explaining foster care, tell him that sometimes kids have to stay with other families while their parents work on being better parents because at this time they can't keep the kids safe.

Everyone else already asked the other questions I'm curious about.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:12 AM
How did she end up in another country?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:59 AM
I'm not sure why we aren't allowed contact. Ds has been writing her letters, I've been sending them to my older sister, who sends them to our mom...

In Feb, it was determined that for now, my mom isn't allowed to contact her. She sent her balloons at school on Valentines day and was arrested for it. My older sister asked if she could contact the caseworker, maybe Skype with her so she remembers us and that she is loved and thought about... But my mom said no one is allowed to contact her.

She's in another country BC my mom didn't like being here and wanted to run away from us (her other kids, and the drama from here).

Later this month is the last court date that determines who gets her- either back to mom (she'll come back to the USA right afterwards) or the state/district. The country they're in doesn't want to send my little sister back... I mean its kinda understandable- they have no idea who we are and if she'd be safe! But I can't imagine 11 years passing before being allowed to talk to her. :-( we (the family here) didn't do anything wrong.

Quoting cjsix:

 Why are you not allowed to contact her? Can you talk to a lawyer and have them try and step in? Could a lawyer help you get custody? Have the mom's right been terminated and she is possibly been or being adopted? You are family and should be considered for placement of your little sister before anyone else.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:02 AM
My mom didn't like being here, so she ran off again. Other times she'd leave my brother (now 15, but her running started when he was 3)... I wish she would've left my sister, but I think this was her attempt at starting a new family

Quoting Anonymous:

How did she end up in another country?
paganmommy4
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:02 AM

Explain to him that things are going to be difficult right now. Children Services has their own way of doing things and family contact gets disconnected and re-established after everything turns out to be okay like you and your son wouldn't cause her harm.. I know its weird but thats how it works

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN