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I can't do it without a nanny

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have a very active 19 m old and I'm a single working mom.i am used to taking him to daycare from 7.45 to 3.30, mond to frid and a nanny comes home on tue and Thursday from 4 to 8 and sund from 2 to 6 m.

Last sund she told me that she could not come on tues anymore and I thought I was able to hande it all without her help.

i can't .

i m sick this week so it may not be the best time to evaluate this but I think I need help 3 times a week if I want a clean home, homemade meals, quality time, time at home to work and not get too stressed.

how do women do it without help?

EDIT

since people don't read responses, I am going to clarify certain things:

1) I should have used the word "maid" or helper instead of nanny. She cleans, does laundry, folds clothes, crosses the street to pick up a few groceries, organizes toys, recharges batteries, change batteries and yes, she would not  ignore my child if he wants to play but she is always around while I am home. she may change a diaper here and there or get sippy cups ready or clean high chair or help feeding him fruit after we ate dinner but she is not a "nanny" working alone

2) I took my son's first 14 months off to be with him.

3) I don't need to hear about moms that are going to school as well as unlike them, I planned on the baby after I had earned my MA and I was almost doone with my PhD

4)I don't judge SAHMs, you don't judge working moms

5) I leave the office to be home with my son but I still have to do work from home.

6) like most if you, I did have to suck it up and be a mom (whatever it means for everyone).for me, it means that I dont get my hair done twice a week, I dont get manicures and pedicures, I dont get a massage, I dont work out as much as I jused to, I dont travel as much as i used to, i dont have a different $100 bottle of perfume every month, I dont buy expensive make up, I don't hang out wiuth the same friends and etc etc...it is all about my son and i am happy but go and judge your own self

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Replies (221-230):
CMcLaws
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:44 AM

I am a SAHM and DH works from home. I have a LOT of health issues  and am sick often, if DH didn't work from home, I would be screwed and would have to hire help. If I become much worse, I may have to hire help anyway because DH needs more time to work than he gets most days. :-( 

AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:44 AM

when my son was younger (birth through kindergarten)  my dh worked second shift so that our child wouldnt attend daycare.    i would watch my son from the time i got off work 4 pm until bedtime,  by myself,   each and everyday.    on the weekends we would both be home.    but he has always been not helpful when cleaning needed done,   but he could occupy our child while i got stuff done.     op - if you planned the child - where is the guy you planned the child with to help you?!?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Good for you for teaching your son languages early. As long as he uses them, he will maintain them. If you do stupid, trendy, irrelevant classes that have no real-life application, of course they will lose the skill. You have chosen activities that will enrich his whole life. Good job!


Quoting Anonymous:


His paternal family own property n France and he has cousins who speak French and English. So we will try to keep up with French and he will go to a French school in Los Angeles.. As for italian, he speaks with my family. We will see .i appreciate the feedback from older or more experienced moms but the truth is, I dont care. We all go through our own experiences


Quoting Anonymous:

That's wonderful that your child is able to do all those things at such a young age. So are a lot of children. I have twins and they learned sign language at a very young age. New moms are always excited about things like this. But the truth is by the time your child starts school, you learn your child isn't so special and that several of the other kids can do the same things. After a while, your child even loses the ability to do some of the things you mentioned as they're useless or they aren't continued. They simply don't retain it. My twins can no longer do or understand sign language.

Good for you that you can afford the help. But your just as capable doing a lot on your own without the help.


Quoting Anonymous:


You are pathetic and you can't even read. My OP said we leave home at 7.45 but why would I argue with a pathetic mom? I am just happy that I get the extra cleaning support at home so that I can engage n stimulating activities with my son and that is why he was able to walk by 14 months, speak 10 words in English, italian and French by 15 months and by now he has more words in each of those languages and he says two word phrases in English and French. He recognizes 5 to 7 animals and all his clothes and body parts and much more.All that because I had a stable job that allowed me to take 14 months off to raise him and then go back to my job.

so next time you want to bitch at a mom, pick someone else.not the mom who planned things out and wh has a great job that allows her to take 14 months off and then nay work from the office a few hours and the rest from home.

pathetic


Quoting dbush0584:

730-330....That's 8 hours a day in day care plus the 12 hours a week is 52 hours in childcare. plus he sleeps more than I originally said but I'll still say 70. He's in someone else's care for 52 hours a week. So 122 hours a week he's not being parented by you. You do not have 4 hours with him if your nanny is there till 8. I couldn't be jealous of someone so pathetic, little girl. You are OBVIOUSLY still a child yourself....at least mentally. So next time you want to act like a grown up, bitch, try BEING a grown up. MILLIONS of mom's do everything you do plus some with ZERO help....and love every fucking minute of it. You see a sad excuse for s mom and your son WILL resent you for neglecting him one day.





Quoting Anonymous:


Your math is wrong. 35 hours in daycare. The 12 weekly hours the nanny/ maid is here , I m at home too playing or cooking and being a mom but with an assistant. Those two added are 47 hours per week.he is up at 6 am and we are home until 7.45 so we spend almost 2 hours together Monday to Friday before he goes to daycare. Then weekends is all mom and son time as I rarely go to salon and I do my own manicure and pedicure so no me time.

he goes to bed at 7 .45 so we have slightly more than 4 hours together in the evening and I try to drop by his daycare during Lunch.

i took his first 14 months off to stay home with him so bitch, instead of criticizing out of jealously, ask more questions 





Quoting dbush0584:

WHEN? He is in someone else's care for 52 hours a week and he sleeps AT LEAST 56 hours a week plus naps so let's go with 70 hours of sleep a week. that's 122 hours a week he's not with you.









Quoting Anonymous:


I'm sorry but I disagree. All those activities are quality are done together and I love doing them with him. It is not Ike he gets dropped off at activities and I pick him up. We do them together and they connect us with m friends as well






Quoting boshs1andonly:

He's 19 months, he doesn't NEED all that especially if its getting in the way of you being a mom. Work to cover the essentials and some savings then spend the rest of the time being a mom to you kid.











Quoting Anonymous:


When I get hme, I still have work from the office that I need to d so I am far from lazy.i have to keep up with work to afford the clothes he has, the gym classes he takes, the parks and entertainment he goes to and his French classes







Quoting Anonymous:

Say what? No one can be this lazy. Get off of your ass!
































Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:47 AM
Bullshit


Quoting jcpeters0320:

Lol she bragged about her child walking by 14 months....mine was running by 9 months and I still didn't need a nanny. I have taught my now 3.5 year old to read and write with no help...he has the vocab of a freaking 7 year old and I haven't paid a damn dime to have someone else teach him.

jcpeters0320
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Believe what you want. I don't know you therefore I don't give a shit :)


Quoting Anonymous:

Bullshit




Quoting jcpeters0320:

Lol she bragged about her child walking by 14 months....mine was running by 9 months and I still didn't need a nanny. I have taught my now 3.5 year old to read and write with no help...he has the vocab of a freaking 7 year old and I haven't paid a damn dime to have someone else teach him.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:49 AM
You're in the wrong group, Hun. This is the poor people group. There is a group for educated, comfortable moms who can relate to your life.


Quoting Anonymous:


I didn't pay someone else to do it as I was able to spend the first 14 mths at home with hm. So you can shut the fuck up.i am not bragging g. Iam just saying that he gets what he needs from mom and the time we spent and spend together as. Sm are he learns from the niter action he gets with peers at daycare.

I have seen many moms taking pride in being at hme with their kids but in reality, many times it. Not quality time as you need to run errands and take care of other things. This is getting to a points where I have to explain why I like to have help it s just useless to explain that to people that can't afford it as their jealously can be seen in the responses.

i don't hire help to sit and watch tv like some stay at home moms. I don't get help to go and have me time. I get help to have the house clean and laundry done and tos cleaned and rooms free of germs so that I can enjo more quality time with with adorable son.

fuck the world who judges that


Quoting jcpeters0320:

Lol she bragged about her child walking by 14 months....mine was running by 9 months and I still didn't need a nanny. I have taught my now 3.5 year old to read and write with no help...he has the vocab of a freaking 7 year old and I haven't paid a damn dime to have someone else teach him.





Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:50 AM
Special beds? I didn't say special beds.

They have the same dad. Why does that matter?

Quoting Anonymous:

You're a single mom to 4 children with special beds, under the age of 5? Wow! No words... Just a question. How many fathers?




Quoting Anonymous:

I am a single mom to 4 kids 5 and under. They go to my sisters from 7:30 to 4:30, but I make ALL of their meals for them at my home and she just feeds it to them. They also all have special needs. It can be done. It takes strength. You can do it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Omg. This is my favorite!!!! Way better than the popcorn picture

Quoting Anonymous:


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:04 AM
Why don't you cry a river and then float away? If you're too poor to have children then you shouldn't have had them.


Quoting jcpeters0320:

Lol you don't get your hair done twice a week or any of that other vain shit? Try having to go a week without your medication because you had to make a choice between your meds and diapers. No manicure and pedicures? My shoes are tore the hell up, full of holes, because every time I have the spare money to get new shoes I've had to get shoes for my son instead since he's growing like a weed. And you have a PhD? Congrats but my God where did you get it? You can't spell or use proper grammar. And no more massages? Wtf? Boo hoo!

I haven't gotten a Christmas gift in 3 years because I told my family to only get for my son and the other kids....I haven't gotten an anniversary gift in the five years I've been married because its right after my sons birthday and we have absolutely no spare money after his birthday. I bet you have no idea what struggling really is. Struggling is having no food and only 10 bucks to last a week.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:07 AM
Oh, OP... I was 100% with you till here. Foster care? WTF??? Do you have NO friends?


Quoting Anonymous:


I don't. My parents live in Europe. His dad does not help. His family sees my son but to hang out at my place with them.they don't help looking after him. We moved so we have new neighbors and I would not ask them for help. So it is paid help or no help. If I get seriously sick or have an accident, he will have to go to foster care until a relative from abroad can come


Quoting Anonymous:

She was in daycare. That's help. That's hours when you got to take care of something else important and you paid someone to take care of your child while you did that important thing.



I also bet you have family or friends that helped on occasion.



If her dad took her on some weekends that's also help.



Every mom has some sort of help.





Quoting dbush0584:

I stayed home with DD until she was 15 months old.  When I left DD's dad, I had my own place and worked.  She was in daycare for 6 hours while I worked.  I took classes online at night and did EVERYTHING on my own.  Don't tell me people have help because not everyone does.  

Quoting Anonymous:

That's such bullshit. No one does it without ANY help. You just don't have paid help.








Quoting dbush0584:

Is there an echo in here?  You're saying the same thing I am silly.  If you MEAN cleaning then great but you SAID nanny.  Mean what you say and say what you mean.  I applaud you for working to make a better life for your child.  What is annoying is WHINING about not being able to "do it" without someone doing it for you.  I am not the one that is pathetic in this scenario honey.  I wish all the best to you and yours and hope you can figure out a way to take care of what needs to be taken care of.  I know ALL too well what its like to be a single parent and have to work but as I said before....MILLIONS of mom's do the same thing without ANY help at all.  It can be done.

Quoting Anonymous:


You are pathetic and you can't even read. My OP said we leave home at 7.45 but why would I argue with a pathetic mom? I am just happy that I get the extra cleaning support at home so that I can engage n stimulating activities with my son and that is why he was able to walk by 14 months, speak 10 words in English, italian and French by 15 months and by now he has more words in each of those languages and he says two word phrases in English and French. He recognizes 5 to 7 animals and all his clothes and body parts and much more.All that because I had a stable job that allowed me to take 14 months off to raise him and then go back to my job.

so next time you want to bitch at a mom, pick someone else.not the mom who planned things out and wh has a great job that allows her to take 14 months off and then nay work from the office a few hours and the rest from home.

pathetic




Quoting dbush0584:

730-330....That's 8 hours a day in day care plus the 12 hours a week is 52 hours in childcare. plus he sleeps more than I originally said but I'll still say 70. He's in someone else's care for 52 hours a week. So 122 hours a week he's not being parented by you. You do not have 4 hours with him if your nanny is there till 8. I couldn't be jealous of someone so pathetic, little girl. You are OBVIOUSLY still a child yourself....at least mentally. So next time you want to act like a grown up, bitch, try BEING a grown up. MILLIONS of mom's do everything you do plus some with ZERO help....and love every fucking minute of it. You see a sad excuse for s mom and your son WILL resent you for neglecting him one day.









Quoting Anonymous:


Your math is wrong. 35 hours in daycare. The 12 weekly hours the nanny/ maid is here , I m at home too playing or cooking and being a mom but with an assistant. Those two added are 47 hours per week.he is up at 6 am and we are home until 7.45 so we spend almost 2 hours together Monday to Friday before he goes to daycare. Then weekends is all mom and son time as I rarely go to salon and I do my own manicure and pedicure so no me time.

he goes to bed at 7 .45 so we have slightly more than 4 hours together in the evening and I try to drop by his daycare during Lunch.

i took his first 14 months off to stay home with him so bitch, instead of criticizing out of jealously, ask more questions 







Quoting dbush0584:

WHEN? He is in someone else's care for 52 hours a week and he sleeps AT LEAST 56 hours a week plus naps so let's go with 70 hours of sleep a week. that's 122 hours a week he's not with you.













Quoting Anonymous:


I'm sorry but I disagree. All those activities are quality are done together and I love doing them with him. It is not Ike he gets dropped off at activities and I pick him up. We do them together and they connect us with m friends as well








Quoting boshs1andonly:

He's 19 months, he doesn't NEED all that especially if its getting in the way of you being a mom. Work to cover the essentials and some savings then spend the rest of the time being a mom to you kid.















Quoting Anonymous:


When I get hme, I still have work from the office that I need to d so I am far from lazy.i have to keep up with work to afford the clothes he has, the gym classes he takes, the parks and entertainment he goes to and his French classes









Quoting Anonymous:

Say what? No one can be this lazy. Get off of your ass!












































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