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I can't do it without a nanny

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have a very active 19 m old and I'm a single working mom.i am used to taking him to daycare from 7.45 to 3.30, mond to frid and a nanny comes home on tue and Thursday from 4 to 8 and sund from 2 to 6 m.

Last sund she told me that she could not come on tues anymore and I thought I was able to hande it all without her help.

i can't .

i m sick this week so it may not be the best time to evaluate this but I think I need help 3 times a week if I want a clean home, homemade meals, quality time, time at home to work and not get too stressed.

how do women do it without help?

EDIT

since people don't read responses, I am going to clarify certain things:

1) I should have used the word "maid" or helper instead of nanny. She cleans, does laundry, folds clothes, crosses the street to pick up a few groceries, organizes toys, recharges batteries, change batteries and yes, she would not  ignore my child if he wants to play but she is always around while I am home. she may change a diaper here and there or get sippy cups ready or clean high chair or help feeding him fruit after we ate dinner but she is not a "nanny" working alone

2) I took my son's first 14 months off to be with him.

3) I don't need to hear about moms that are going to school as well as unlike them, I planned on the baby after I had earned my MA and I was almost doone with my PhD

4)I don't judge SAHMs, you don't judge working moms

5) I leave the office to be home with my son but I still have to do work from home.

6) like most if you, I did have to suck it up and be a mom (whatever it means for everyone).for me, it means that I dont get my hair done twice a week, I dont get manicures and pedicures, I dont get a massage, I dont work out as much as I jused to, I dont travel as much as i used to, i dont have a different $100 bottle of perfume every month, I dont buy expensive make up, I don't hang out wiuth the same friends and etc etc...it is all about my son and i am happy but go and judge your own self

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Replies (61-70):
MamaMoopsie
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm guessing because you're not feeling well it just seems like more than you can handle.

I'm not a perfect mom by any means and I do have a wonderful husband who makes it possible for me to stay home with our little ones, but he isn't really that much help when it comes to cleaning, putting things away, or even picking up after just himself so half the time I feel like I have an extra kid instead of a partner.

Here are some awesome tips:

1. Crock pot dinners. You throw everything in the slow cooker in the morning so you don't have to take time out after work to cook and feel stressed about it. It's also super easy clean up.

2. After work, take your child to the park or an indoor play area if there are any in your area and let him run himself ragged so he's not quite as active at home.

3. When it comes to cleaning, do one room a day. Mondays-kitchen/dining area, sweep/mop, Tuesdays-living room, Wednesday-bathroom(s), Thursday-his bedroom, Friday-your room or other rooms that I haven't listed. Have your son help you pick up his toys, so he gets into the habit now. Also, do a load of laundry every day or every other day so it doesn't build up on you.

4. Quality time doesn't mean you have to drop everything to play a game or color. You can incorporate your son into cooking dinner, helping you put laundry away, picking up toys and it can all be fun. One of the best things I've found is turning my music on and dancing with my little ones while I'm cleaning. They love shaking their booties with me and "helping" clean...which really just consists of them being under my feet or in my way, but it's quality time. So what if it takes me half an hour instead of five minutes.

dbush0584
by Platinum Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:25 PM
I work...I clean...I cook....I do all those things. I do it all with my kids. we clean together....we cook together...then on weekends we bbq, we go places, whatever. I couldn't imagine someone else spending THEIR time with MY kids that way. I HAVE to work but I spend every spare second loving my kids and they know it.

Quoting boshs1andonly:

Good point. Not bashing moms who work, I get that you do what works for your family but given the choice I'd outsource cleaning or cooking and spend the time with dd whenever I'm not working. I mean if you're spending the money either way...



Quoting dbush0584:

Actually....if you want help you could hire a maid and actually be a patent to your child. who watches your kid on Saturday because it's OBVIOUSLY not you?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:28 PM


Your math is wrong. 35 hours in daycare. The 12 weekly hours the nanny/ maid is here , I m at home too playing or cooking and being a mom but with an assistant. Those two added are 47 hours per week.he is up at 6 am and we are home until 7.45 so we spend almost 2 hours together Monday to Friday before he goes to daycare. Then weekends is all mom and son time as I rarely go to salon and I do my own manicure and pedicure so no me time.

he goes to bed at 7 .45 so we have slightly more than 4 hours together in the evening and I try to drop by his daycare during Lunch.

i took his first 14 months off to stay home with him so bitch, instead of criticizing out of jealously, ask more questions 

Quoting dbush0584:

WHEN? He is in someone else's care for 52 hours a week and he sleeps AT LEAST 56 hours a week plus naps so let's go with 70 hours of sleep a week. that's 122 hours a week he's not with you.

Quoting Anonymous:


I'm sorry but I disagree. All those activities are quality are done together and I love doing them with him. It is not Ike he gets dropped off at activities and I pick him up. We do them together and they connect us with m friends as well


Quoting boshs1andonly:

He's 19 months, he doesn't NEED all that especially if its getting in the way of you being a mom. Work to cover the essentials and some savings then spend the rest of the time being a mom to you kid.



Quoting Anonymous:


When I get hme, I still have work from the office that I need to d so I am far from lazy.i have to keep up with work to afford the clothes he has, the gym classes he takes, the parks and entertainment he goes to and his French classes



Quoting Anonymous:

Say what? No one can be this lazy. Get off of your ass!










Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:30 PM


We do all that. Admitting I like having that extra help does not mean I have zero skills or strategies. I also took his first 14 months off to stay home wi him

Quoting MamaMoopsie:

I'm guessing because you're not feeling well it just seems like more than you can handle.

I'm not a perfect mom by any means and I do have a wonderful husband who makes it possible for me to stay home with our little ones, but he isn't really that much help when it comes to cleaning, putting things away, or even picking up after just himself so half the time I feel like I have an extra kid instead of a partner.

Here are some awesome tips:

1. Crock pot dinners. You throw everything in the slow cooker in the morning so you don't have to take time out after work to cook and feel stressed about it. It's also super easy clean up.

2. After work, take your child to the park or an indoor play area if there are any in your area and let him run himself ragged so he's not quite as active at home.

3. When it comes to cleaning, do one room a day. Mondays-kitchen/dining area, sweep/mop, Tuesdays-living room, Wednesday-bathroom(s), Thursday-his bedroom, Friday-your room or other rooms that I haven't listed. Have your son help you pick up his toys, so he gets into the habit now. Also, do a load of laundry every day or every other day so it doesn't build up on you.

4. Quality time doesn't mean you have to drop everything to play a game or color. You can incorporate your son into cooking dinner, helping you put laundry away, picking up toys and it can all be fun. One of the best things I've found is turning my music on and dancing with my little ones while I'm cleaning. They love shaking their booties with me and "helping" clean...which really just consists of them being under my feet or in my way, but it's quality time. So what if it takes me half an hour instead of five minutes.



gblossom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:30 PM


lllloooollll

Quoting Anonymous:




kels1023
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:30 PM
This

Quoting ChevronOwls:

As much as your 1 year old loves his French classes, I'm sure he would go without if that meant spending more time with his actual mother.


Quoting Anonymous:


When I get hme, I still have work from the office that I need to d so I am far from lazy.i have to keep up with work to afford the clothes he has, the gym classes he takes, the parks and entertainment he goes to and his French classes


Quoting Anonymous:

Say what? No one can be this lazy. Get off of your ass!







Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
CM_Junkie
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:32 PM
Are you serious? One kid? You suck it up and take care of your child. I don't get your mentality
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bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:32 PM

you just do it. I am really sorry, but that attitude really sickens me.

MariannLws
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:34 PM

We have a nanny too. I feel for you. Hire a fill in nanny on the days your regular can not make it. 

LucyHarper
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:35 PM

You just suck it up and get it done. I have five, soon to be six kids, and no nanny. Yes, I have a husband, but I work part time while he works fulltime and goes to school, so I spend quite a few hours at home with my kids without him helping. I find ways to entertain and keep my kids contained while cooking and cleaning and doing anything else that has to be done. Yes, it can get stressful, but no one said being a parent would be easy.

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