Can't sleep.

[cinnamonkiti]

Last night was the viewing for my dad. I close my eyes and I see him there... It didn't look like my dad.

The social aspect really bothered me. How can all these people stand around talking and laughing with my father just laying there?

[jbirdsladie27]

I'm sorry for your loss. My condolences to your family.

((hugs))

[iluvsn85]

Im sorry about your Father, may he rest in peace.

[Kerriebear007]

Sometimes laughter is the best medicine. Your dad wouldn't want everyone crying.

[Hierophant85]

So sorry for your loss.
Some people hide their pain by pretending everything is alright.
But I understand it's tough to watch everyone be so casual when you're just so heartbroken.

[cinnamonkiti]

Thank you.

So many people came last night. On the one hand, it was a testament to how many people loved my dad.... But it was so overwheming..

I broke down at the end and expressed my fears to my stepmom that my dad died disappointed in me. She told me he wasn't... That he loved me... But I still....he was disappointed in me when he was healthy... How can a split second heart attack change that?

I'm sorry. I know this is morbid, but my brain won't stop.