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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Child support from an adult child's standpoint

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 276 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What do you think?

Options:

You are right, it was wrong to spend your child support on the whole family

No, she had the right to use that money on the whole family if she wanted and you are greedy to think the money should have been used on you

Other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 320

View Results

My mom got child support for me since her and my dad split when I was 2. To this day, I still think she was wrong for how she used it and she thinks I am greedy for how I think she should have used it.

My father made a lot of money and so, he paid a lot of child support, it averaged about $2000 a month and I am 23 so when the order started over 20 years ago, $1500 (which is what it was then) was  a lot of money.

Shortly after their split (never married) my mom met and married and man who had 2 kids. They over time had 2 more kids. I was always treated well and equal to all the kids but now that I look back, the way they spent the child support wasn't fair.

I didn't get any more then any of the other kids even though my step dad probably didn't make much more then my mom got in child support just for me and my mom was a stay at home mom. Now I understand that she didn't want to give me more then the other kids but if she wasn't going to, she should have paid my share of the bills (there were 7 people so 1/7th of the bills) and bought my clothes and things with it and the rest should have been put in a savings account for me. My father didn't pay child support to support his ex's other kids and step kids.I just don't think that my father's money should have been paying for about half the house's total expenses when he was only responsible for one of the members of the household

If she would have saved just $500 a month, which would have still left her between $1000 and $1500 depending on the year, to take care of 1 child (because that's what it was for, me) I would have had over $100,000 saved for me.

My mom says that it is greedy for me to have expected that, that I was raised well, given what I needed and treated as well as the other kids. Well so were the other kids but they didn't have to pay to be treated that way and I feel like that is what she is saying, that she is owed the extra money because I was treated the same as the other kids, why wouldn't I be?

My father won't say anything about it but I know that that annoyed him when I was growing up. He saved up a college fund for me but it would have been nice to have $100,000 that was paid for me but not spent on me, to help me start my life as an adult.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mich.el.le
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:39 AM
23 moms liked this

Ffs. You had a good life. Get over it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:39 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:41 AM

So did my half and step siblings though and money meant for each of them didn't provide for about half the household.



Quoting mich.el.le:

Ffs. You had a good life. Get over it.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:41 AM
9 moms liked this

I don't really think it is any of your business how the money was spent. You were raised and raised well. Sounds like she did what was supposed to be done.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:41 AM
3 moms liked this

To be honest, what she did with the CS money is non of your business. If it paid for food, clothes, utilities, cars, anything that had to do with you raising you, than she did good with it. So you are saying, because your mother was being paid cs money, you should have had more than your siblings?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:42 AM
2 moms liked this

Not really, child support is meant to support THAT child, not subsequent children you have with your new DH or your DH's children and that IS what they did with it.



Quoting Anonymous:

I don't really think it is any of your business how the money was spent. You were raised and raised well. Sounds like she did what was supposed to be done.



mommy404204
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:44 AM
4 moms liked this

Whats done is done leave it in the past and move on. There is nothing you can do about it now. your mother was given the money to take care of you how SHE saw fit.

ImNotKarl
by Also Not Paul on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:44 AM
27 moms liked this

As a kid with a lot of siblings and a parent that received child support for me, I'm GLAD my mom used the money on all of us. I would have wanted it shared anyway. It would have sucked being the only kid that got to play the sports and do the extra school activities that I wanted to do, or the only kid to get new school clothes while my siblings got my hand-me-downs. I am from a family that was well below the poverty line, and if that money went to paying all the bills and maybe enough left over so we could have family movie night, that was alright with me.

I'm 22 now. I love that we were all equal. I love that my siblings and I all got the same treatment. I don't feel like it was MY money. I was part of a family. A screwed up family? Sometimes, yes, but they were my family and I would never want my siblings to struggle so that I could have more when the wealth could be shared. I'd rather struggle now as an adult and earn my own way, anyway. It gives one a realistic perspective and a sense of empathy, humility, and respect for the struggle.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:45 AM
5 moms liked this

My opinion on child support is not the popular one. I agree with you that it should be spent on the child it was meant for and their expenses, nothing else.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:45 AM
5 moms liked this


Were your needs provided for? Child support is not meant to support a grown child. My mother received child support as well, I know I was cared for and my needs were met. She accomplished what she was suppose to with that money. Just sounds like you are bitter and expect you should have been treated better than your siblings because your mom got money to support you. You were supported!!!!!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Not really, child support is meant to support THAT child, not subsequent children you have with your new DH or your DH's children and that IS what they did with it.



Quoting Anonymous:

I don't really think it is any of your business how the money was spent. You were raised and raised well. Sounds like she did what was supposed to be done.





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