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Another woman fixing DH lunch?

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This morning I woke up and checked my FB while DH was using the bathroom and brushing his teeth. Normal routine of us having 5 minutes to ourselves before kids wake up and go off to work and school. Scrolling through my news feed I see that DH's best friend's wife has taking it upon her self to send DH lunch to work with her DH. 

I fix DH lunch every night before bed, pack his lunch box full of goodies that I know he loves. Why the fuck is this woman trying to do my job??

DH didn't ask her to do this, and got aggravated at her as well. That's not her place. I had to resist the urge to go off on her because she is pregnant. 

Maybe she's trying to say thank you for us getting her DH a job and letting him stay with us completely rent free for 3 weeks, but that is not the way to say thank you in my book. The way it looks to everyone on FB is that I'm not taking care of my hubby or that I'm an awful cook. It made me very upset. Would you have been mad too? Or am I over reacting? I didn't say anything to her, but I really wanted to because she has never met my DH, she only talks to him occasionally on FB.

edit to add: If she was making lunch for the entire crew (there are 4-5 men on their crew each day) I would be totally cool with that. She isn't. She is making lunch for my DH solely, tagging him on fb in the post to show everyone single one of our family and friends that she is doing this. That's what bothers me about it, it bothered DH too and he said something to her DH. He's not comfortable with other women doing things for him that are my responsibilty. His exact words were "if I wanted her cooking I'd have asked for it."

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:29 PM
Replies (101-104):
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:16 PM

its called Fakebook not Facebook lol kidding. well thats how i look at it at times.


I think maybe it was innocent and i totally see your point. i would just have your DH tell his friend, thanks so much thats toughtful but my wife packs me a lunch everyday, i wouldnt want to waste your wifes food.

ive learned in life getting angry and making comments gets you nowhere killing people with kindness is best, if she doesnt get it, then it means war! good luck!

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:38 PM

 But she's not going out of her way. She is already making lunch for her DH, it doesn't take any extra effort to make 2 of everything. And maybe her making lunch for your DH is her way of saying thank you to you. Maybe she thinks that by her doing it, it is one less thing you have to do and you may get a chance to relax a little more than normal. IDK about anyone else, but the biggest thank you someone can give me is to some how, some way give me even just a few minutes of extra relaxation. Maybe that's her train of thought. KWIM?

I can see where you're coming from in the wanting to be thanked personally for your part in helping her, I really do. Maybe you could say something to her yourself? She might not know that she is stepping on your toes. She may honestly think she is helping you out.

Quoting KanPsMommy:

I'm a stay at home mom so the motherly/wifely duties are things that I love. Maybe I am over reacting, but where's my "thank you" for doing her husband's laundry and cooking for him while he stayed with us? She hasn't so much as even said thank you for the baby gear that I sent her. And I guess that's what's bothering me so much that she goes out of her way to do something for my DH that is my job and something I love doing for him but can't simply say thank you to me... Maybe that's why it bugs me so much.

Quoting milmomma2006:

I think you're over reacting. But then again, I would gladly hand some of my wifely/motherly duties over to anyone willing to take some of them! IDK though, maybe it's because we both work fulltime, and then some, and by the time we get home we are too worn out to do anything. Or maybe I'm just weird and don't sweat the small stuff. It's lunch and it's not like she was going out of her way to make lunch for your DH and not hers. She was making it for her husband and made some extras, no biggie. And the whole FB thing, who cares what your family and friends think of you?!? The only opinions that matter are yours and your husband's.


by Anonymous 18 on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:40 PM
I think your overreacting. My husband goes to his friends house several times a week and his friends wife (also my friend) makes them lunch. I feel a little left out but I'm not mad.
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 6:39 PM

 Maybe your dhs friends wife, made something yummy, your dh said wow thats awesome. So your dhs friends wife, is maing him more.

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