I can't take it anymore!!!

[Anonymous]

I have been married for some time now, before my current husband I was with someone else and had children. Well my current husband and I have 1 child together. The problem is he Hates when I talk about my other kids when they were babies, or compare them to our youngest. he hates their dad so that what his problem is. I don't get why he's like that. He was never like that before, just started acting like an ass. I can't stand that I feel guilty for even bringing anything up when it come to my other kids. I don't know what to do.

**** this all started because my mom has clothes of my oldest, that would fit our youngest an he's giving me shit about it. I think it's wrong, and he thinks he's right. I want my youngest to be able to share something of his brothers and he doesn't get that.

[audreesmama]

Talk to him and ask him why. He sounds jealous and immature. He needs to love and accept your bio kids as well as the child you have together.

[Anonymous]

Tell him he can accept your other kids and the fact that you talk about them, or he can be an ex.

[Jessy613]

Quoting audreesmama:

Talk to him and ask him why. He sounds jealous and immature.

[Anonymous]

If he can't accept your kids & love them I'd be showing him the door.

[damionsmama7195]

i told my DF that if he doesn't treat my son exactly as he would treat his own, and truly love him, then it is a deal breaker and i will leave him. he needs to know how important it is to you and your kids that he accept them. 

[mamacough]

 That is rediculous! Don't let anyone even your spouse make you feel like you can't talk about your children.! Maybe he is controlling? but if you let him control your memories just think what else he might start wanting to controll. Hmm.

[Anonymous]

My ex turned into an insecure, jealous, controlling abusive ass after we had our first, this would be a red flag for me.

[Anonymous]

He seriously needs to get past it  (yeah, I know, derp) - but I mean really, it's not like he didn't know you already had kids.  If he speaks badly of their biological father in front of them (or has a hissy fit when you talk about their "pre-him" years it's not going to do the kids any good.  When he married you those children ceased being only "yours" - biology isn't the big factor, the family unit is.  So not only is his biological child "his" - they're ALL his now.  It's weird it came up after so long...    Anyway if he won't have a "heart-to-heart" with you about it - what he's afraid of, worried about or whatever then the best thing would probably be if he could speak to a professional.  There must have been some "trigger" or whatever since he didn't always act that way.  You can't go through life having to worry you might set him off by even off-handedly referring to something in your childrens' past.   Hopefully he isn't treating the children themselves any differently.  Wouldn't know what else to suggest other than as I said a counselor for him - there's obviously an issue he needs to admit to and deal with.  Good luck -

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

It started because my mom found clothes that was my oldest, and she wants to give them to me for our youngest.

Quoting Anonymous:

He seriously needs to get past it  (yeah, I know, derp) - but I mean really, it's not like he didn't know you already had kids.  If he speaks badly of their biological father in front of them (or has a hissy fit when you talk about their "pre-him" years it's not going to do the kids any good.  When he married you those children ceased being only "yours" - biology isn't the big factor, the family unit is.  So not only is his biological child "his" - they're ALL his now.  It's weird it came up after so long...    Anyway if he won't have a "heart-to-heart" with you about it - what he's afraid of, worried about or whatever then the best thing would probably be if he could speak to a professional.  There must have been some "trigger" or whatever since he didn't always act that way.  You can't go through life having to worry you might set him off by even off-handedly referring to something in your childrens' past.   Hopefully he isn't treating the children themselves any differently.  Wouldn't know what else to suggest other than as I said a counselor for him - there's obviously an issue he needs to admit to and deal with.  Good luck -

[Anonymous]

 

Quoting Anonymous:

It started because my mom found clothes that was my oldest, and she wants to give them to me for our youngest.

Oh - criminy, yeah - as I said -  counseling.  That's crazy.  Good luck -

Quoting Anonymous:

He seriously needs to get past it  (yeah, I know, derp) - but I mean really, it's not like he didn't know you already had kids.  If he speaks badly of their biological father in front of them (or has a hissy fit when you talk about their "pre-him" years it's not going to do the kids any good.  When he married you those children ceased being only "yours" - biology isn't the big factor, the family unit is.  So not only is his biological child "his" - they're ALL his now.  It's weird it came up after so long...    Anyway if he won't have a "heart-to-heart" with you about it - what he's afraid of, worried about or whatever then the best thing would probably be if he could speak to a professional.  There must have been some "trigger" or whatever since he didn't always act that way.  You can't go through life having to worry you might set him off by even off-handedly referring to something in your childrens' past.   Hopefully he isn't treating the children themselves any differently.  Wouldn't know what else to suggest other than as I said a counselor for him - there's obviously an issue he needs to admit to and deal with.  Good luck -