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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Going to jail for 30 days... update, had court today

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 106 Replies
We are in a situation when my husband and I both could go to jail for 30 days. My SIL will be taking care of the kids for that time if it happens. I am scared that she will try to petition for custody of DD2 (3yo) based on abandonment. She keeps telling family how much DD2 likes to spend time with her and be at her house. And "jokes" about how we should just type up adoption papers.






My question is, if both of us do go to jail for 30 days is that considered abandonment? Could she try for custody of DD2? She would not try for custody of the youngest or the oldest. I am so worried and scared.









Edit: Petty theft. We were at Wal-Mart walking around. We grabbed a bag of diapers for ds and went to the pet part of the store to price fish tanks for dds fish. DD1 ran into an old school friend and they got to talking for a while. We all took our jackets off and threw them in the cart. We spent about 2 1/2 hours walking/talking. Forgot about the diapers in the cart. (This has happened before, when we noticed before we went right back in to pay for what we forgot about). This all happened right after we left church.









As we were walking out and getting the jackets, security people stopped us and told us to go with them and why. They took the other 2 jackets out of the cart and told us we were shop lifting. DH told them we were not trying to steal from them and told them we made an honest mistake. He had the money in his wallet, but they refused and then officers got involved and we were arrested.









We both have clean records. No previous history of anything. When we went to our court date Wednesday the state offered 30 days in jail for both of us. We are being tried as two separate cases.





Edit 2: Thank you to the few ladies who actually answered my question about my SIL trying to go for custody of DD2. I am very paranoid when it comes to my kids and after all the damn "joking" from SIL I am freaked out!! I don't want to be away from them for one second, let alone 30 days! I couldn't imagine what I would go through if the worst DID happen and when we got out we found out she tried to get custody of her. I probably would go to jail for assault/battery/murder.





This is real. Not a troll. I wish it wasn't!! This wasn't a question about IF we could go to jail for this stupidness. When we went Wednesday I did not think it was possible at all! Jail was not an option that ran through my head. We are letting the public defender take care of that part. I was and am only concerned for my daughter.



Update: 3/20

Obviously I am not in jail tonight! My husband was appointed the public defender and I was deferred to the regional counselor. This time the state offered 1 year probation, ACF class and community service hours. Only I have to do the community service. He got off that because of his job. Adjudication was with held! So as long as we do probation there will be no conviction on our records!



I was so over prepared! On top of the medical forms notarized I also had a paper at DD1s school done to appoint temp. guardianship in the event education decisions needed to be made. And to be able to have SIL sign her in/out, sign her planner and field trip permission slips; etc... we gave my mom the checkbook/bank card so she can take care of certain bills for 30 days. I wrote up a schedule for school stuff and Easter things/field trip stuff for SIL. We were ready and all of our ducks were in a row. I wanted to be sure anyone could see we did not plan to or want to abandon our kids. We tried to be responsible as we could where they were concerned.

So thankful that none of that preparation was necessary! Thank you to the ladies who offered real support and advise! Good night!
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:06 AM
1 mom liked this

30 days in jail is NOT abandonement, especially if you get it in writing that you'll get custody back when you are done and try to maintain contact during your time.

What might hurt you is WHAT you are going to jail for.  She can say you are unfit parents, or that the child is more stable in her home than yours.

Bottom line: She can try whatever she wants.  And she may get something.  If you can't trust her, dont' leave your kids with her.  And from here on out, keep your nose clean so it isn't even an issue.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:08 AM
What would u be going to jail for
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:09 AM
Petty theft. I will add an explanation in the main post.

Quoting Anonymous:

What would u be going to jail for
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:16 AM
2 moms liked this

If you sign ANYTHING for the children, only sign something giving her the right to seek medical treatment. Do not give her guardianship or anything else. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Edit in post.

Quoting Anonymous:

30 days in jail is NOT abandonement, especially if you get it in writing that you'll get custody back when you are done and try to maintain contact during your time.

What might hurt you is WHAT you are going to jail for.  She can say you are unfit parents, or that the child is more stable in her home than yours.

Bottom line: She can try whatever she wants.  And she may get something.  If you can't trust her, dont' leave your kids with her.  And from here on out, keep your nose clean so it isn't even an issue.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:19 AM
I did. Today I printed up medical release forms for the kids and got them notarized. Medical only.

Quoting AllofFive19:

If you sign ANYTHING for the children, only sign something giving her the right to seek medical treatment. Do not give her guardianship or anything else. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:21 AM
Wow that sucks!!
LoveTragedyFun
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I find it odd that you would go to jail for a minor, first time offense. You are more likely to face a fine. It is highly unlikey they are gonna toss your asses in jail for $20 worth of diapers.

AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:22 AM

Read your edit. Is there really no way that they can put one of you in jail at a time? You had a real shitty lawyer.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:22 AM
2 moms liked this
Please say you pled not guilty.
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