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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Going to jail for 30 days... update, had court today

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
We are in a situation when my husband and I both could go to jail for 30 days. My SIL will be taking care of the kids for that time if it happens. I am scared that she will try to petition for custody of DD2 (3yo) based on abandonment. She keeps telling family how much DD2 likes to spend time with her and be at her house. And "jokes" about how we should just type up adoption papers.






My question is, if both of us do go to jail for 30 days is that considered abandonment? Could she try for custody of DD2? She would not try for custody of the youngest or the oldest. I am so worried and scared.









Edit: Petty theft. We were at Wal-Mart walking around. We grabbed a bag of diapers for ds and went to the pet part of the store to price fish tanks for dds fish. DD1 ran into an old school friend and they got to talking for a while. We all took our jackets off and threw them in the cart. We spent about 2 1/2 hours walking/talking. Forgot about the diapers in the cart. (This has happened before, when we noticed before we went right back in to pay for what we forgot about). This all happened right after we left church.









As we were walking out and getting the jackets, security people stopped us and told us to go with them and why. They took the other 2 jackets out of the cart and told us we were shop lifting. DH told them we were not trying to steal from them and told them we made an honest mistake. He had the money in his wallet, but they refused and then officers got involved and we were arrested.









We both have clean records. No previous history of anything. When we went to our court date Wednesday the state offered 30 days in jail for both of us. We are being tried as two separate cases.





Edit 2: Thank you to the few ladies who actually answered my question about my SIL trying to go for custody of DD2. I am very paranoid when it comes to my kids and after all the damn "joking" from SIL I am freaked out!! I don't want to be away from them for one second, let alone 30 days! I couldn't imagine what I would go through if the worst DID happen and when we got out we found out she tried to get custody of her. I probably would go to jail for assault/battery/murder.





This is real. Not a troll. I wish it wasn't!! This wasn't a question about IF we could go to jail for this stupidness. When we went Wednesday I did not think it was possible at all! Jail was not an option that ran through my head. We are letting the public defender take care of that part. I was and am only concerned for my daughter.



Update: 3/20

Obviously I am not in jail tonight! My husband was appointed the public defender and I was deferred to the regional counselor. This time the state offered 1 year probation, ACF class and community service hours. Only I have to do the community service. He got off that because of his job. Adjudication was with held! So as long as we do probation there will be no conviction on our records!



I was so over prepared! On top of the medical forms notarized I also had a paper at DD1s school done to appoint temp. guardianship in the event education decisions needed to be made. And to be able to have SIL sign her in/out, sign her planner and field trip permission slips; etc... we gave my mom the checkbook/bank card so she can take care of certain bills for 30 days. I wrote up a schedule for school stuff and Easter things/field trip stuff for SIL. We were ready and all of our ducks were in a row. I wanted to be sure anyone could see we did not plan to or want to abandon our kids. We tried to be responsible as we could where they were concerned.

So thankful that none of that preparation was necessary! Thank you to the ladies who offered real support and advise! Good night!
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:04 AM
Replies (21-30):
LoveTragedyFun
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:27 AM

you are well within your rights to represent yourself. Ask for a continuance to find representation.


Quoting Anonymous:

Both of us filed for a public defender, but because we are married only one of us will be appointed a public defender, the other will have someone else appointed.... I forgot what she called him.

BUT... the court date is before the public defender appointment. I hope we don't sit in jail waiting on the public defender to get our papers and then be brought back to court to find out no jail time was necessary! We have 3 kids. 1 tween and 2 under 3. I am also 30 weeks pregnant.

Quoting LoveTragedyFun:

I find it odd that you would go to jail for a minor, first time offense. You are more likely to face a fine. It is highly unlikey they are gonna toss your asses in jail for $20 worth of diapers.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:27 AM
If anything, I would rather do the time.



DH is the only one working. I am a SAHM. We could not survive if he didn't work for a month!

Quoting _mimimosley_:

Ask for work release or weekend incarceration. Its possible, or probation. Or have your dh ask to do the time.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:28 AM
Bump bc I'm no help. Sorry :(
hargonagain
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:29 AM

What state are you in?  If you are in California you will not do jail time for petty theft.  Plead not guilty and hope the judge has a brain.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:30 AM
We didn't have one. We filed for a public defender. Our appointment with them is after our next court date. The judge just told us to come back in 2 weeks.

Quoting AllofFive19:

Read your edit. Is there really no way that they can put one of you in jail at a time? You had a real shitty lawyer.

Luna091306
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:30 AM

 Were you already outside of the store when they stopped you? Did you not buy anything and walked out with an empty cart of jackets? Something doesn't add up.

I've forgotten things underneath the cart before and once a bottle of hair gel fell underneath ds' infant carrier but as soon as we were unloading the cart and noticed we went back in to pay.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:31 AM
We haven't pled anything yet. At the hearing we asked to be appointed a public defender.

Quoting Anonymous:

Please say you pled not guilty.
Allinorder
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:32 AM

You need to have your records sealed. You wont ever get a job. That sucks it happened to you. I doubt it would be considered abandonment. Just start keeping records of what you do with your kids so she cant claim you are bad parents.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:32 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

Both of us filed for a public defender, but because we are married only one of us will be appointed a public defender, the other will have someone else appointed.... I forgot what she called him.

BUT... the court date is before the public defender appointment. I hope we don't sit in jail waiting on the public defender to get our papers and then be brought back to court to find out no jail time was necessary! We have 3 kids. 1 tween and 2 under 3. I am also 30 weeks pregnant.


Because you are married, you cannot have lawyers in the same office working for both of you. it is a conflict of interest.
So one of you will have a public defender and the other will have a pro bono lawyer.

You will meet your atty's about 30 mins before the appointed court time. Both of you will have to refuse any "deals" which involve jail time. Be assertive. You are required by law to go before a judge and say, "Yes, I accept this deal- and I was not coerced or promised anything for this deal".


AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:33 AM

Yes, I posted that before I saw about the public defender. You can request the court date be postponed until after you meet with the public defender. 

Quoting Anonymous:

We didn't have one. We filed for a public defender. Our appointment with them is after our next court date. The judge just told us to come back in 2 weeks.

Quoting AllofFive19:

Read your edit. Is there really no way that they can put one of you in jail at a time? You had a real shitty lawyer.


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