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Going to jail for 30 days... update, had court today

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
We are in a situation when my husband and I both could go to jail for 30 days. My SIL will be taking care of the kids for that time if it happens. I am scared that she will try to petition for custody of DD2 (3yo) based on abandonment. She keeps telling family how much DD2 likes to spend time with her and be at her house. And "jokes" about how we should just type up adoption papers.

My question is, if both of us do go to jail for 30 days is that considered abandonment? Could she try for custody of DD2? She would not try for custody of the youngest or the oldest. I am so worried and scared.

Edit: Petty theft. We were at Wal-Mart walking around. We grabbed a bag of diapers for ds and went to the pet part of the store to price fish tanks for dds fish. DD1 ran into an old school friend and they got to talking for a while. We all took our jackets off and threw them in the cart. We spent about 2 1/2 hours walking/talking. Forgot about the diapers in the cart. (This has happened before, when we noticed before we went right back in to pay for what we forgot about). This all happened right after we left church.

As we were walking out and getting the jackets, security people stopped us and told us to go with them and why. They took the other 2 jackets out of the cart and told us we were shop lifting. DH told them we were not trying to steal from them and told them we made an honest mistake. He had the money in his wallet, but they refused and then officers got involved and we were arrested.

We both have clean records. No previous history of anything. When we went to our court date Wednesday the state offered 30 days in jail for both of us. We are being tried as two separate cases.

Edit 2: Thank you to the few ladies who actually answered my question about my SIL trying to go for custody of DD2. I am very paranoid when it comes to my kids and after all the damn "joking" from SIL I am freaked out!! I don't want to be away from them for one second, let alone 30 days! I couldn't imagine what I would go through if the worst DID happen and when we got out we found out she tried to get custody of her. I probably would go to jail for assault/battery/murder.

This is real. Not a troll. I wish it wasn't!! This wasn't a question about IF we could go to jail for this stupidness. When we went Wednesday I did not think it was possible at all! Jail was not an option that ran through my head. We are letting the public defender take care of that part. I was and am only concerned for my daughter.

Update: 3/20

Obviously I am not in jail tonight! My husband was appointed the public defender and I was deferred to the regional counselor. This time the state offered 1 year probation, ACF class and community service hours. Only I have to do the community service. He got off that because of his job. Adjudication was with held! So as long as we do probation there will be no conviction on our records!

I was so over prepared! On top of the medical forms notarized I also had a paper at DD1s school done to appoint temp. guardianship in the event education decisions needed to be made. And to be able to have SIL sign her in/out, sign her planner and field trip permission slips; etc... we gave my mom the checkbook/bank card so she can take care of certain bills for 30 days. I wrote up a schedule for school stuff and Easter things/field trip stuff for SIL. We were ready and all of our ducks were in a row. I wanted to be sure anyone could see we did not plan to or want to abandon our kids. We tried to be responsible as we could where they were concerned.

So thankful that none of that preparation was necessary! Thank you to the ladies who offered real support and advise! Good night!
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:04 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Anonymous 11 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:33 AM

Dont plead guilty please. It was a honest mistake. I have done the same thing by accident and didnt relize until I got to the car. I went back and paid for the stuff.

by Anonymous 12 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:34 AM
Omg. I am sorry you are I this position. In January I got in an argument with a bartender. She lied and said I called her bitch so they kicked me out. I NEVER called her a bitch. As I walking out I tossed my beer out of the mug. Stupppid stupid. I got a disorderly conduct ticket and I have to take a conflict management class on Saturday. Ugh. Now I have it on my record and its embarrassing and sucks. Anyway. Good luck!!! I am not sure about your dd. though.
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:34 AM
My dh spent 9 months from almost the same thing
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:36 AM
We were walking out of the first set of doors to where the carts are. We were not outside past the second set of doors. We got the diapers first thing and while walking in the store we took our jackets off because we were getting warm. We started to get the kids jackets when we were stopped. Had we not have been stopped we would not have made it past the second set of doors, to the outside of the building, before we noticed. We still would have been where the carts are when we would have seen them.

Last time we forgot something and went back in, dd2 grabbed a sippy and was playing with it. When we got to the van, we saw it as we were loading her into her seat and went back in to pay for it.

Quoting Luna091306:

 Were you already outside of the store when they stopped you? Did you not buy anything and walked out with an empty cart of jackets? Something doesn't add up.

I've forgotten things underneath the cart before and once a bottle of hair gel fell underneath ds' infant carrier but as soon as we were unloading the cart and noticed we went back in to pay.

by Anonymous 13 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:39 AM
That doesn't sound right... your leaving something out. You don't go to jail for petty theft when you you have never been into trouble before. For you to be scared that someone is going to try and get your child from you, your not telling us something.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:41 AM
Oh!! I really hope so! When the state said 30 days I was so upset! I really thought that because of our records that they would have made us pay fines, community service or probation. I was not expecting to hear jail time!

I am freaking out that because the appointment is AFTER our next court date we would be sitting in jail regardless. That is why I am doing all this stuff and getting things in place, just in case. I hope they postpone it til we get the public defender.

Quoting AllofFive19:

If you don't have a public defender before the court date, the court date can be postponed.

Quoting Anonymous:

Both of us filed for a public defender, but because we are married only one of us will be appointed a public defender, the other will have someone else appointed.... I forgot what she called him.

BUT... the court date is before the public defender appointment. I hope we don't sit in jail waiting on the public defender to get our papers and then be brought back to court to find out no jail time was necessary! We have 3 kids. 1 tween and 2 under 3. I am also 30 weeks pregnant.

Quoting LoveTragedyFun:

I find it odd that you would go to jail for a minor, first time offense. You are more likely to face a fine. It is highly unlikey they are gonna toss your asses in jail for $20 worth of diapers.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:42 AM
We are in Florida.

Quoting hargonagain:

What state are you in?  If you are in California you will not do jail time for petty theft.  Plead not guilty and hope the judge has a brain.

by Emerald Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:42 AM

It never hurts to be prepared, so you're doing the right thing. Always prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.

Quoting Anonymous:

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:43 AM
After all is said and done, regardless of what happens, we do plan on getting our records expunged (sp).

Quoting Allinorder:

You need to have your records sealed. You wont ever get a job. That sucks it happened to you. I doubt it would be considered abandonment. Just start keeping records of what you do with your kids so she cant claim you are bad parents.

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:43 AM

I'm sorry, but I'm calling troll on this. No judge is going to sentence both parents of young children to jail for a full month for forgetting to pay for one package of diapers. Either theres more to the story or this is all made up.

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