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My disabled DD is having a baby! So confused *EDIT*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 69 Replies
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My 23 year old DD has Downs but lives on her own with her 22 year old partner who also has downs. they are a great couple, been together for 6 years and are engaged. They are sexually active and have been for the last 5 and a half years. My daughter was on the pill for her periods, so i thought. She came over the other day (She visits every second day and I check in on my way home from work) and told me she had some great news. She was so excited. She's pregnant. They tried to conceive and are over the moon! She is my only daughter but I fear for her. I acted as if it was a good thing since I didnt want to crush her. I dont know what to do! I asked her doctor when she was a child about this, they said it was VERY VERY unlikely she would ever be able to conceive. Firstly I personally had no idea that men cannot father children, I honestly have never looked into it! and if that is the case there are two options - False positive or he isn't the father. I will be looking into that! Secondly yes they are able to care for themselves, they also fight and at times it has been physical not beating eachother but throwing a couple of things around a few years ago. In the last 2-3 years since they moved out there has been one fight were things got to that point. When it does I go over, I talk to them. Both of them usually crying and sobbing with guilt. There is much love there and its hard for them some times.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:37 AM
I don't know a ton about downs. What are your concerns?
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Diamondblue1
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:37 AM
3 moms liked this

i think she will be fine. just be there for her like you aree doing. she has her own place she's engaged she's happy that's all that matters enjoy being a grandmother congratswoohoo

mommy404204
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:40 AM

Well I would just take it one day at a time and try to be as supportive as possible. Good luck to both her and her partner. And hopefully everything goes well for everyone.

ElizabethGracie
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:44 AM

I understand your worry...what happens if their baby has Down Syndrome or some other disability?I feel that like that chances of that, especially of the baby having Down Syndrome are much greater.Am I right?

How disabled are your daughter and her partner?You said they live on their own,so I imagine they are high functioning,but do they really understand the realities and logistics of having a baby?

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happy41ce
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:44 AM
Please just be there for them. Offer your support and help. :)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:44 AM

Is it likely that her baby will be born with Downs? Are you willing care for her baby?

amyleigh80
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:44 AM
Oh gosh, that's tough. I understand your concerns. If it were my DD, I would let her be happy. I wouldn't burden her with my worries. She should be allowed to be happy. Since she lives on her own with her fiancé I am guessing she is able to care for herself. She might just suprise you. She will still need her mother for all the same questions we all have when becoming a first time mom. She might need a little bit more help because she has downs but look at it as more time to spoil your grandchild. Speak with her dr at length on what you can expect. See if there are any specialized classes or groups she and her fiancé can attend, but most of all, let her be happy. Be happy for her. A child is a blessing and this is meant to be.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:45 AM
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I feel like if she wasn't capable enough to be in a relationship or to have sex - you wouldn't have allowed her to move out of your home. considering that you consider her capable enough for both things, (and to live out of home and with a partner) that with some support she should be just fine :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:46 AM
1 mom liked this

Ummmm you must be a troll. Down syndrome people cant have kids. They have a extra chromosome.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:46 AM

Oops, I guess the doctors were wrong!

Does this guarantee that their child would have Downs? Can the baby actually survive/  Are they capable of taking care of a baby?

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