How do I handle this? When kids know way to much than they should..

[Anonymous]

My three year old dd has been watching porn. We bought a small phone for her dad so he could take to work and listen to music. He put in one of our old sd cards in the phone (we had it before she was born) we forgot that the sd card had porn vids in it and she was sneaking away watching them. At first I thought she was playing games until one day I caught her. I told her not to touch the phone again and deleted the vids. I felt horrible but hoped she would forget about anf then it happened. The other day she was hiding in the closet on top of her doll. I freaked... I sent her to her room I didn't want to get on to her because its not her fault but mainly I dont know what to do or how to handle the situation. Im torn right now. I was molested as a kid and I tried so hard to never leave her alone with people that I dont trust. Im always right there with her so no one will hurt her or touch her and she ends up learning this shit in my own home. Now when she's in the bath she looks down at her private and touches it (like just looking) I dont want to tell her no dont touch it because I dont want her to think its a bad thing. Ive also read a lot on cm that kids that age touch themselves. I was going to say something but then she started telling her baby doll "I have a face you have a face, I have hair you have hair, I have feet you have feet and so on so I just took it as shes was discovering her body.....so I try not to freak. But still what do I do now? How do I go about this? Help please

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't make a big deal about. She will forget about it and no worries.

[othermom]

I am not sure. Good luck

[nerdymom28]

Explain to her that it's okay to explore, but only in the privacy of her own room, and just leave it at that. If you make a big deal out of it it's only going to backfire.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Explore??? Like hump her dolls? She's three. Im afraid she'll grow up like me... knowing way too much for my age and doing things I regret. Of course Im thinking way ahead but I feel it will lead to it.

Quoting nerdymom28:

Explain to her that it's okay to explore, but only in the privacy of her own room, and just leave it at that. If you make a big deal out of it it's only going to backfire.

[nerdymom28]

 Yes! She's acting out what she saw, hun. When my daughter watches The Little Mermaid, she's acting like a mermaid for the rest of the week. It's no different. If you try to punish or shame her, you could twist her idea of healthy and normal sex - which could really hinder her as an adult. You will be teaching her that sex is wrong and bad and it's not okay. Is that what you want her to think?

I understand why you're concerned. You have reason to be a little worried, considering what you've been through. But this is all perfectly normal behavior. She doesn't know what sex is, she doesn't understand the depth of the concept. She just knows that the videos were interesting to her, and that touching herself feels good. That's it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Explore??? Like hump her dolls? She's three. Im afraid she'll grow up like me... knowing way too much for my age and doing things I regret. Of course Im thinking way ahead but I feel it will lead to it.

Quoting nerdymom28:

Explain to her that it's okay to explore, but only in the privacy of her own room, and just leave it at that. If you make a big deal out of it it's only going to backfire.

 

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I see your point. Sigh...hopefully shr forgets and I will be a lot mpre careful. =\

Quoting nerdymom28:

 Yes! She's acting out what she saw, hun. When my daughter watches The Little Mermaid, she's acting like a mermaid for the rest of the week. It's no different. If you try to punish or shame her, you could twist her idea of healthy and normal sex - which could really hinder her as an adult. You will be teaching her that sex is wrong and bad and it's not okay. Is that what you want her to think?

I understand why you're concerned. You have reason to be a little worried, considering what you've been through. But this is all perfectly normal behavior. She doesn't know what sex is, she doesn't understand the depth of the concept. She just knows that the videos were interesting to her, and that touching herself feels good. That's it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Explore??? Like hump her dolls? She's three. Im afraid she'll grow up like me... knowing way too much for my age and doing things I regret. Of course Im thinking way ahead but I feel it will lead to it.

Quoting nerdymom28:

Explain to her that it's okay to explore, but only in the privacy of her own room, and just leave it at that. If you make a big deal out of it it's only going to backfire.

 

[nerdymom28]

 I think she probably will. It is not traumatic enough to leave an imprint in her memory this early. Most people can't remember much from age 3, unless it's particularly traumatic or otherwise notable. My earliest memories are from age 4 or so.

Quoting Anonymous:

I see your point. Sigh...hopefully shr forgets and I will be a lot mpre careful. =\

Quoting nerdymom28:

 Yes! She's acting out what she saw, hun. When my daughter watches The Little Mermaid, she's acting like a mermaid for the rest of the week. It's no different. If you try to punish or shame her, you could twist her idea of healthy and normal sex - which could really hinder her as an adult. You will be teaching her that sex is wrong and bad and it's not okay. Is that what you want her to think?

I understand why you're concerned. You have reason to be a little worried, considering what you've been through. But this is all perfectly normal behavior. She doesn't know what sex is, she doesn't understand the depth of the concept. She just knows that the videos were interesting to her, and that touching herself feels good. That's it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Explore??? Like hump her dolls? She's three. Im afraid she'll grow up like me... knowing way too much for my age and doing things I regret. Of course Im thinking way ahead but I feel it will lead to it.

Quoting nerdymom28:

Explain to her that it's okay to explore, but only in the privacy of her own room, and just leave it at that. If you make a big deal out of it it's only going to backfire.