Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't want to loan my sister money

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:18 PM
  • 41 Replies
My sister is on disability. She has been on it for a couple of years and still can't manage to budget correctly. She has always been terrible with money. Even before she became disabled. But when she was working she would just pick up extra shifts to make ends meet.



But still she knows how much money she gets every month. But yet she still can't mange her bills!



Well today she called me to ask for money. She said she needs gas to get to and from the doctor.



Ugh.



I want to tell her I don't have it, by se knows better. I was dumb and I told her about the new contract my DH just signed so he is making more money. Today he gets his first big check.



I know if I have it I should just give it to her, especially since she did help me once upon a time when I was a young struggling single mom.



But the thing is, she still owes me from the last time she borrowed money.



She also JUST got back from a gambling trip with our cousins



But on the other hand,if I tell her no, she will just ask our parents who really can't afford to lend her anything


Update. I called to tell her that I would put gas I'm her car, but that was all I could do. She said her roommate (our cousin) would make sure she had gas. So I told her I guess she really didn't need the money. She sounded possess but oh well
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
meaganmac
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this
That's a tough situation. If it were me, I think I would probably lend it to her (only because you say she'll go to your parents who can't afford it) but remind her that she still owes you money and that this will be the last time you help her if she won't help herself.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Canvas_says
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:23 PM
3 moms liked this

I would pay the bill she isn't able to pay directly and not give someone with money management issues any cash. 

archerkaty
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this

If you keep helping her she will never do it on her own. If she asks your parents it is up to them. Like you said she owes you from before. You are helping her by not helping her.

mommybellygirl
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:23 PM

hmm that is a tough one. i would lend it but say something about her gambling then borrowing money

1likeme
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:26 PM
I would say no. Your parents can say no too but it's their money so if giving her money puts them in a bind they have to deal with it.
jenmomx3
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:26 PM

 Well, tell her no.  And when she asks  your parents, they will tell her no.  This is a grown ass woman.  She should not be looking for someone else to pay her way.  If she really can't afford  her bills, tell her to head down to social services and apply for help.  You shouldn't have to be  her personal ATM.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:26 PM

Two things I do with family.

1. I NEVER tell them how much DH and I make. They seem to feel entitiled to it because we are family. Uh no, my money not yours.

2. I NEVER loan money to family. It only causes hurt feeling and grudges to be held.

If I know a family member truly needs I will do my best to provide with no expectations of it to be paid back. But when family members just try to take advantage of my niceness then hell no. If she just went gambling I would tell her hell no.

_Mrs.H_
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:26 PM

I would meet her at the pump and buy her some gas.  I would not just hand over cash.

Ms.Pteranodon
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:28 PM
That is the only reason in considering it.

My parents are barely getting by and they are taking hit after hit. My mom just chipped a tooth $400 to fix, my dads car broke down $200, hit water heater broke - luckily my DH was able to fix it and covered the parts.

My dad is fixing to loose one of his jobs and he's taken a major cut with another. Luckily he has found another 30 hour a week job and on days he's not working at that job he is contracting with my husband. He's 62 years old and too old to be doing that much!

My mom is also working her butt off over 40 hours a week AND she is taking care of my cancer ridden grandparents.

They really dot need to be bothered with poor pitiful sis who can't manage her money!




Quoting meaganmac:

That's a tough situation. If it were me, I think I would probably lend it to her (only because you say she'll go to your parents who can't afford it) but remind her that she still owes you money and that this will be the last time you help her if she won't help herself.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:28 PM

Tell her no. That's what I would do. Sounds like it is that she isn't responsible with her money if she just went gambling, rather than just struggling to budget.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)