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Diagnose my husband!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 49 Replies

I'm convinced that he has a psychiatric condition.  Here are the most apparent symptoms...

1.  I never know who I'm going to get.  When he wakes up, is he going to tear me apart because his socks were in the laundry room instead of in his drawer?  Or is he going to only wake me to kiss me goodbye and wish me a nice day?  Will he come home and begin picking me apart when he steps through the door?  Or will he kiss my cheek and say that dinner smells great?  I NEVER know.

2.  He says hurtful things that are far more dramatic than is appropriate for the situation.  For example, last night I calmly told him that he was being controlling and bossy and that I'm his wife not his child.  He said, "Ok, well why don't you just go out all night and drink and lay down in the road!"  Huh?  We weren't talking about me going out drinking.  I have four kids and virtually no social life.  That comment doesn't make sense in the context of the conversation... or even the context of our lives.

3. He's mean at bedtime.... even if the entire evening has gone well.

4.  I wake up upset because I cried myself to sleep while he ignored me, and he acts hurt and surprised when I'm stand-offish as he is leaving for work.  I feel like I have emotional whiplash.

5.  He has no concept of time or priority.  He can't properly assess (or even come close) how long something will take.  He says, "I'll be finished in 30 minutes, but he is still working on the task 3 hours later.  Not only that, but no one else's time is important.  He is always late and making us (me and the kids) late for things that are important to us.  He shows no respect for the time and/or agenda of others.  Whatever he feels like doing right now is the most important thing ever.

6.  He is constantly bossy and treats me like a child.  He acts like a know-it-all and like I couldn't function without his constant direction.  Ironically, I'm more intelligent and better organized than he is. (To be quite honest.)

7.  He seems to have a much higher opinion of himself than others have of him.  He thinks that others perceive him as perfect, as well.  My parents and brother are a prime example.  They love him, but they are very blunt with me about the flaws they perceive.

8.  He is totally unreasonable.  He sets unrealistic goals, and he truly believes that he will be able to attain them.  For example, he gets mad when I say, "There is no way to make it on time now."  He calls me a pessimist.  But the event is 20 minutes away, and it's 10 minutes till start time.  It's not pessimistic because it is (at that point) a fact.  You can't make a 20 minute drive in 10 minutes.  He also recently decided he was going to lose thirty pounds in thirty days, made a minimal effort, and seemed disappointed 30 days later when he was only a few pounds smaller.


I'm hoping that this sounds familiar to someone.  I have a couple of ideas, but I want the opinion of some outsiders.  I want to help him work through this, but I have no idea where to start.  He does seem a little more aware of when he has been cruel or unreasonable recently (last month or so).

HELP!!!!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bluescorpia
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Passive aggressive & bipolar
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:51 PM

Narcissism. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:52 PM

If he does something nice for you, does he throw it in your face, later, or make a big deal out of it? If you're upset about something, does he turn it around to where HE is the one who is upset? 

sassygoddess
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:52 PM
7 moms liked this

 assholeitis

Bluescorpia
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this
What would this be called ? Borderline personality disorder?


Quoting Anonymous:

If he does something nice for you, does he throw it in your face, later, or make a big deal out of it? If you're upset about something, does he turn it around to where HE is the one who is upset? 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chane_L
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:54 PM

sorry not a Doctor so my qualified diagnosis is ASSHOLE! 

sorry and gl

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like a mixture of a few things - first thought would be mostly narcissism but he could have some intermittent explosive disorder issues although it sounds like his outbursts tend to be more linked to the narcissism.

Good luck, mama!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Sounds like he has a bad case of being a dickhead.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:56 PM

When he does something nice, it always comes up later as a "but I even.... did whatever".

If I approach him with a problem, the conversation always becomes about me.  "I was disrespectful to you because you were disrespectful to me."  "I said this, but at least I didn't say that (something I said that was out of line last year)."  I am ALWAYS the one in the wrong.  Or his wrongdoing was caused by me.


Quoting Anonymous:

If he does something nice for you, does he throw it in your face, later, or make a big deal out of it? If you're upset about something, does he turn it around to where HE is the one who is upset? 



kidlover2
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Bipolar with no boundaries
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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