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hope dh isn't going to jail tonight *update*

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:09 PM
  • 71 Replies

  Ok, so BM got visitation, claimed to have a home, be stable, andmarried. Come to find out she's none of these things (big freaking surprise) She totally LIED in court about being married (she's still with her teenage bf) i guess she was just worried about making herself LOOK stable in court.

anyway visits start (every other weekend) andshe starts causing trouble IMMEADIATLY.  we ended up calling CPS on her because ss wasn't bringing his clothes back home and finally confessed that they were always covered in animal feces as she had 7 cats and 3 dogs that pooped on the floor andhe said she wouldn't send the clothes back home with him cause she didn't want us to know. that's just one thing among a million things that were going horribly wrong. she had something like 27 pets in a single wide trailer with no heat or running water. Apparently it was also leaky because my ss complained to cps that there was a lot of water coming into the room that was supposed to be his.

So CPS makes a visit. Tells her what to fix, tells her how many pets she can keep. apparently it was  A TON of stuff. while we did the exchange (ss coming back to us, we do this in a public place) and ss was walking to our vehicle, she starts ranting and yelling ans screaming at me calling me all kinds of nasty things....in front of ss

well its now FREEZING in nd. winter time....snow, blowing wind, etc. One pick up time ss basically confessed that he had to walk all the way to the gas station in the middle of the night  (in freezing temps and snow) to go to the bathroom, and that he couldnt really sleep cus the heater was broken and it was so cold. I'm not okay with this and neither is DH

So we make another call to cps, two more actually....they tell us there is noting more they can do and dh sounds "jilted" and maybe we should just take this up with her (ha there is no talking sense into this person)

i wish my dh would have gotten a hold of SOMEONE...but e keep hitting dead ends legally.  no one wants to listen or help. Its winter time here in ND and its really cold and wet, we are so not okay with him being cold all night and having to walk to the gas station especially in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom! among other things, she's violated the court order multiple times, and we've let her basically get away with it, TRYING to give her the benefit of the doubt that she'll pull it together. this nonsense has gone on for 2 mos now.

I have been ss only mother for yrs, since he was 3 yrs old, he is now 11 yrs. she was totally out of his life until she popped back in after doing time in a federal prison, its been since last summer that she's had weekend visits. we were pretty much blind sided by a court date where she basically lied and won all kinds of visitation.

i feel like I'm in some bad movie....where the good guy never wins.

anyway.....dh says he isn't sending him for this visit. that he doesn't feel he is having his needs met. that he wants her to at least have running water before sending him for another visit. i agree and support that...but here is the problem....we would technically be in violation of  her court ordered visitation right? So what if she throws a fit and sends the cops to our house, or comes over and stands there out front yelling her bs for all the neighbors to hear? Will they throw my dh in jail for 30 days for violation of said court order? idk....but I'm really stressing and so completely on edge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

update: we spoke to an attorney,  he said being the custodial parent my dh is well in his rights to keep him home if he feels he would be unsafe. they are going to file an affidavit on Monday to temporarily halt visits until she has a stable safe home with heat/running water/ etc.

 


to our house to take ss though. She is threatening to send a sheriff to our home to take ss though

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hotmama83227
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:12 PM

 oh and my "confession"? i wish she'd disappear, it would make all our lives so much better

hotmama83227
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:14 PM

 bump

??

 

hotmama83227
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:18 PM

BUMP!

boldrumble
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:19 PM
I dont see how it is okay to have no running water. I woyld go to court for an emergency stop in visitation due to your ss's safety.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:21 PM
It's a civil problem, cops usually won't do anything about it, and in fact if she did call the police I would have them go do a wellness check and tell them everything about the house that you just said. I completely understand how you feel, but instead of my kid's dad being dirty, he is on drugs and selling drugs so obviously his place isn't fit for children. I have been battling the courts for 4 years, I was finally granted temporary sole custody and we have our final court date on Thursday. If it doesn't go my way, I will still keep my children home with me. Flat out, my kids come first and I will not risk their safety.
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hotmama83227
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:21 PM

 is there such a thing? we went to the court house and asked a few weeks ago, they said the had never heard of such a thing.

Quoting boldrumble:

I dont see how it is okay to have no running water. I woyld go to court for an emergency stop in visitation due to your ss's safety.

 

aprilsalcro
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:22 PM
Wow !
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LovelyMommy24
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:22 PM
He has to go to court first to change it.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:22 PM
I've never heard of jail for violating a visitation order. If that were the case, jail would be filled with countless vindictive women withholding visitation from their child's father.
hotmama83227
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 5:23 PM

 we feel the same way here...but i'm not really a "law breaker" lol i know that sounds stupid...but stuff like this makes me nuts!

Quoting Anonymous:

It's a civil problem, cops usually won't do anything about it, and in fact if she did call the police I would have them go do a wellness check and tell them everything about the house that you just said. I completely understand how you feel, but instead of my kid's dad being dirty, he is on drugs and selling drugs so obviously his place isn't fit for children. I have been battling the courts for 4 years, I was finally granted temporary sole custody and we have our final court date on Thursday. If it doesn't go my way, I will still keep my children home with me. Flat out, my kids come first and I will not risk their safety.

 

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